


Face the Change

by Inrainbowz



Series: Flip the Coin [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Rewrite, Canon-Typical Violence, Dai-nana-han | Team 7 (Naruto) Feels, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Fuuinjutsu Master Uzumaki Naruto, Jinchuurki Feels, Long, Medic Sasuke, Missing-Nin Uzumaki Naruto, Multi, No Uchiha Massacre, POV Multiple, Politics, Post-two year gap, Role Reversal, Sakura with a very big sword, Summons, Worldbuilding, plot heavy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:14:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 68,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23772913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inrainbowz/pseuds/Inrainbowz
Summary: "When you think about it, Sasuke, we could be standing in each other's place right now."It's been two years. Sakura wandered the land with Jiraiya, Sasuke trained under Tsunade and Naruto...Ah. Who knows?Well, the world is about to find out.
Relationships: Gaara & Uzumaki Naruto, Gaara/Hyuuga Neji, Haruno Sakura & Jiraiya, Haruno Sakura & Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura & Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto, Jinchuuriki & Uzumaki Naruto, Karin & Uzumaki Naruto, Nara Shikamaru & Uchiha Sasuke, Tsunade & Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Series: Flip the Coin [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1635823
Comments: 980
Kudos: 1915
Collections: Extraordinary Naruto FanFics, Team 7 🌀, why im sleep deprived 💖✨





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. Here we go again.
> 
> This is the second part of a Role Reversal rewrite. Part 1 covered childhood to the Valley of the End fight and is 330k words long, so I can't in good conscience tell you that you don't need to read it first... And yes I looked hard for a title that would have the same abbreviation as the first part. Don't judge.
> 
> We pick up two years later, for another loooong ride. I hope you'll enjoy and support this as much as you have Part 1! This is for all of you.
> 
> EDIT- It appears that some people did start with this part first, so I guess it works out? It's up to you ^^

Surely the path was the same.

The trees, the stones, the packed dirt of the road, they couldn’t have changed that much, nor the tall green panes of the Western Gate and its painted hiragana. They had to be the same.

And yet to Sakura’s eyes they felt strange and anew as if she was seeing them for first time.

Excitement and anticipation were rising in her chest as they closed the distance to Konoha’s walls, as the road grew wider and busier around them. The red torii flanking the gates peaked out through the trees, and then she could make out the buildings past the entrance, already trying to assess whether some were new or renovated.

She wondered if there was something or someone in the village more changed than herself.

At her side, Jiraiya was rambling happily about all that he would do once they were through with their report and various duties and he was free to wander Konoha’s streets and bars. Sakura tuned him out with practiced ease – she had learned to ignore most of his talking, for both their sake.

She was grateful for all he had taught her, for the strength and experience she had gained under his tutelage, but she couldn’t deny she would welcome getting rid of him for a while. Although she didn’t think she would so easily lose the habit of stirring him clear from any woman within a five miles radius.

But despite his many, many, _many_ flaws, Jiraiya had turned out to be a great teacher, far better than she had thought he would be, once he had recognized in her a worthy successor. He didn’t think she had it in her, when they left – truth be told, she didn't either.

They had both been proven wrong, and she felt no small amount of pride at the fact.

Haruno Sakura had made a name for herself in the shinobi world.

As eager as she was to display it though, to show off the results of those two years on the road with the obnoxious Sanin, what she was looking forward to the most, above all else, was simply seeing her friends again.

She had written as often as she could, not as often as she would have wanted, and had received very little news, seeing as they were constantly on the move, and that Jiraiya insisted his toad network was for “important spy business only”. She knew for a fact he also used it to send the chapters of his trashy romance novels to his editor, but what could she do.

The toads still favored him. For now.

So she didn’t know what happened while she was gone, and she was impatient to hear it all, and to tell in return all she had done and seen. But there was this little core of apprehension too, lodged square in her throat, that prevented her from walking faster and hurrying their long-awaited return.

Because maybe they weren’t awaited at all.

Jiraiya had sent words to the Hokage that they were on their way back two weeks ago, because they were supposed to leave Tea Country and go straight to Konoha then. But an incident involving a marriage celebration, a lot of alcohol and an idiotic old man with whom she had no association with whatsoever mistaking a red kimono for a napkin had delayed their departure for several days.

They were late. And that was assuming that the Hokage had relayed the words at all. Maybe she hadn’t, because no one would care.

A lot could change in two years.

She stopped one step shy away from the stone slab paving the way to her home.

Two years and some, since she had crossed the threshold, and she wasn’t too proud to say that she hadn't spared that much thought to the village during that time. To her defense, she had a million other things to worry about, between her training, the managing of their day-to-day life, and the hassle of looking after a man with the mentality of a fourteen years old rascal. She had allowed herself little time to miss her friends, her family and her home, had endeavored to quench down the longing and the homesickness seizing her at times. It was all catching up to her now.

She had missed it all dearly.

“Come on, you’re not going to cry, are you?”

A good thing she could always count on Jiraiya to obliterate any foray into emotional territory.

“Now I’m certainly not,” she shot back, exasperated. He was allergic to feelings of all sort – that was the reason why she would never read any of his books.

Well, it was _one_ of the reasons.

His callousness worked though, in a roundabout way. She wouldn’t go as far as to credit him for it, but he had effectively pulled her out of her melancholia.

She crossed the gates.

Home, at last.

“Sakura! Finally!”

Kiba jumped over the desk of the gate outpost to run to her, Akamaru in tow. At least she assumed it was Akamaru, even if he was thrice the size she had last seen him.

Behind him, Shino rounded the desk and followed at a much more sedate pace.

Kiba clasped a hand on her shoulder, shaking her a little, looking unorderly pleased. She wouldn’t even have been surprised if he’d forgotten her entirely, and yet here he was, greeting her with great enthusiasm, as boisterous as always. She couldn’t contain her smile.

“Ino is going to be so happy! She’s been bitching around all week, complaining to everyone who cared to listen that you were doing it on purpose just to mess with her.”

“She worried,” Shino interjected. Kiba laughed.

“Ah, yeah, probably! Though she would never say it of course. Oh, that reminds me! Akamaru!”

The dog barked happily and took off through the streets, expertly slaloming between the worried passersby.

“She knew we were stuck on gate duty this week. She asked me to warn her if I saw you,” he explained with a wink.

It wouldn’t do to cry so soon, so she did her best to fight it.

“We’re still on duty,” Shino remarked pointedly, earning a dramatic sigh from his friend.

“Yeah, yeah… We’ll catch up later, Sakura. It’s good to see you!”

“You too,” she said dumbly, a little mystified, as the boys went back to their post. To be guarding the gates, they had both made chunin then. She would need to get on with it too.

She turned to Jiraiya to ask to be dismissed, but he was already walking away without a care in the world. She decided not to care either, though she would have to find him again later. She had nicer things to focus on.

Sakura didn’t hear nor see her arrive as much as she felt her, felt her presence close the distance quickly, radiating excitement. She didn’t move though.

Ino barreled into her with the full force of her joy. But Sakura could wield a very big sword now.

She didn’t budge.

“Don’t start showing off already!” Ino complained, though the effect was quite dampened by her radiant smile. She wasted no time wrapping Sakura in a strong embrace and there was nothing else to do but respond in kind, holding tight.

Ino broke it off quickly though, both hands on Sakura’s shoulder to keep some distance between them and assess her, eyes sharp.

“Wh-what?” Sakura asked, unsure of what to make of Ino’s now hard expression.

“How dare you?”

“What?”

“How dare you get taller than me!”

Ino’s tone was so serious, so heavy that for a moment Sakura didn’t register she was totally being played. She laughed, free and unrestrained, joy sparkling like bubbles in her chest and on her cheeks as Ino did a very bad job of trying to look stern.

“I can’t believe you would do this to me,” she said dramatically, making Sakura laugh even harder.

“I missed you so much, Ino,” she said through her smile, sobering up when she realized how earnest she sounded. Ino smiled, soft and knowing. She took Sakura’s wrist and squeezed, grounding.

“Welcome home, cherry pie.”

And then came the tears.

.

Ino insisted to accompany her to the Godaime, claiming she had nothing better to do, and was immediately refuted by the woman asking her “why the hell” she wasn’t working on those decoding as soon as they stepped into her office.

“I finished this morning, the transcription team just needs to get a move on,” Ino declared with no small amount of satisfaction. The Godaime rolled her eyes, but she was smiling too, so Ino wasn’t in too much trouble. Though it begged the question…

“You’re working for the Intelligence Department?” Sakura whispered on the side.

"Codebreaker, among other things. I'll tell you later."

Right. Because Sakura was standing in front of the Godaime with her master, and she was supposed to participate in their reporting. Jiraiya had sent regular updates of their findings of course, but he still gave a thorough recollection of the information they had gathered, essentially on the Akatsuki.

Their main focus, for the man to whom Naruto had most likely gone to, Orochimaru, and his business were the affair of Anko’s team, to Sakura's frustration. They had crossed paths a few times – they were due back in Konoha a few weeks ago but had ran into delay too, something more dignified than her own misadventures she was sure, so she didn’t know if they were back yet.

The Hokage dismissed her quickly, both because she wanted to speak with Jiraiya alone, and also out of mercy, Sakura suspected, by the way she assured that Ino could catch her up on the rest and that they could both leave.

“Can I just ask… Naruto?”

Sakura felt small under the woman’s wistful gaze.

“Ino will tell you too. Now get out of here. Unpack your bags, go greet your friends. We will talk later.”

They didn’t need to be told twice. She didn’t need to unpack though, and if she was being honest there was only one thing she wanted to do, before anything else.

“Where to then?” Ino asked casually, sounding like she already knew the answer. She most likely did – Sakura still hesitated.

“I… would like to see Sasuke.”

Ino smiled warmly.

“Of course you would. Let’s go to the hospital. It’s the best bet with him these days.”

Ino offered to make a detour by her house so that she could at least put down her bag, but Sakura refused, giving a feeble excuse about it being in the opposite direction. She knew that if she went home, her parents wouldn’t let her back out for hours. She felt bad for them being so low on the list of people she wanted to see, but they didn’t need to know. She would go home soon enough.

“Tell me what happened?” she asked as they started strolling through the busy streets. “What are the news?”

She tried not to get too distracted by all the little changes she noticed, some freshly painted buildings, extra houses squeezed along the streets, new shops and new owners. Both familiar and foreign.

She discretely catalogued the changes in her friend too. Sakura’s body was almost as angular and sharp as when she was a child, but Ino’s was much rounder, softer. Her hair seemed longer too, but they were gathered in a thick, loose braid on the side of her head, so it was hard to tell.

She was beautiful.

“Well, I made chunin for a start, last year in Suna. We all did. It has to do with my position in Intelligence, actually…”

“How so?”

"I did some good snooping. Sasuke put me up to it because Naruto got close to that boy, you know? Anyway, I was the one to figure out he was missing.”

Sakura gaped at her. Ino chuckled.

“That was you?”

They had heard about it much later, when passing through Suna.

“Turned out Suna wasn’t any better than Konoha at keeping their asset on the line… But they were just as good as hiding it. They had no idea either, about Naruto. It caused a bit of a... an incident, not gonna lie.”

Suna had been pretty unwelcoming to Jiraiya and his disciple, as they seemed to hold Konoha responsible for Gaara’s disappearance for some reason. The fact that Jiraiya was there specifically to discuss the Akatsuki and their hunt for the Tailed Beasts had not contributed to put anyone in a good mood. 

“Do you… know? About Naruto, and that boy too.”

“Sasuke explained, the gist of it anyway. I tried to do some digging, but information is scarce, you can imagine."

It was so… So relieving, the bitterness in Ino’s voice, how she talked about it with distaste and disdain. That she knew, and that she agreed that it wasn’t right, that she shared Sasuke and Sakura’s indignation. Were they all in this then?

“Tsunade-sama was pissed, but she was also impressed. She recommended me for the Department – there was nothing they could say against it this time. I think it was also a way to stick it to the Kazekage. He was enraged, he wanted me to be punished, but she wouldn’t have it.”

It was so strange, how she talked about the Godaime, about politics they used to be as uninvolved in as was possible. She could only imagine how much pushing around Ino had done to get into all this so young, but the girl was an unstoppable force when she set her mind to something, and she had the skills to back it up.

“Do you think that Naruto…”

“I should have known that’s the only thing you’d care about,” Ino chided, though her tone remained light. “We don’t know for sure, but it would make sense, right? That boy, Gaara, he vanished from Suna like, three months after Naruto left.”

They had no way to be sure, but she found it oddly comforting, to think that he had done exactly what he had set out to do.

Where was he now, she wondered, with who? What was he doing? Was he alright? She longed to know. She thought about finding Uchiha Izumi, to grill her for answers, but then figured that if the girl was back in the village Sasuke would have surely beaten her to it.

She couldn’t wait to see him.

“We should have dinner tonight,” Ino suggested. “I’ll bully Shikamaru into cooking something, he always complains but he loves it actually, and he’s gotten pretty good too. He’s the only reason Sasuke has not starved to death yet really.”

“What?”

Sakura had a feeling she was going to say that a lot.

“Oh shit, that’s right, you don’t know that either. You missed so much drama around here, you have no idea. Yeah, it’s a long story, I’ll leave it to Sasuke, but it ended with them rooming together. They share a flat near the hospital. And believe it or not, it worked out pretty well.”

It was… she couldn’t imagine it. First of all, it meant Sasuke had moved out of the Uchiha district, which couldn't have happened for a trivial reason. She wasn’t aware of the two boys being particularly close, but then again, it could have been out of convenience before anything else. And they had had time to become friends, hadn’t they?

“I always thought Shikamaru would be the type to live at his parents until he was like, thirty.”

“I know, right? I’m sure that was his plan too. But he had a fallout with his father. That’s… been kind of a theme. I'm sure they bonded over that."

She would have hoped Sasuke had moved out for a different reason, but it made sense. What else but conflict with his father could have driven him away from his family home?

She had so many questions.

"I… should spend some time with my parents tonight. Tomorrow?”

“It’s a date.”

She liked the sound of that.

They finally made it to the hospital. The first thing she noticed was the extension – an entire new wing on the North side, spotless and shiny like only recent constructions were. The hospital looked busier too.

“They’ve been working hard to upgrade this place,” Ino commented as she led them through the corridors with an ease claiming familiarity. “It takes in people from the neighboring villages and farms now, they can treat chronic illnesses and pain, all sort of stuff like… You know what, I don’t actually know, but I’m sure Sasuke will be happy to nerd out about it to you.”

And as if on cue, they rounded a corner to reach an open consultation room and here Sasuke was, a mask around his neck and taking off disposable gloves while scolding a chunin she recognized as Yamanaka Ichinosuke, who had a fresh bandage around his arm and his friend Namiashi Ryoma hovering guiltily next to him.

“Next time please refrain from taking out the kunai yourself. And for Sage’s sake if you do, _don’t put it back again_.”

Ryoma at least looked a little sheepish. His friend just sighed.

Sasuke hadn’t seen her yet, but then he turned around to grab something on a nearby shelf and…

He froze entirely. She did too.

She was rooted to the spot. She didn’t know if she ought to move forward or wait for him to come to her, if she could call his name or if that would be ill-advised in the hospital. If he was too busy and she needed to come back later.

It stretched to an extremely awkward amount of time before he snapped out of it.

“Sukui, can I take a break? I’ll send Itachi to help if you need.”

“Don’t worry, I’m good,” a young woman answered from the other side of the room, giving him a thumb up. Sakura spared a quick thought at the information that Itachi worked around here too, apparently, but it was soon out of her mind as she followed her friend’s every move.

He ditched his gown and mask and made his way across the room. Sakura didn’t move a muscle. He stopped a respectable distance away. They stared at each other.

“Well, I see you have it handled. I’ll leave you to it, I need to go make fun of my cousin.”

Ino, the traitor, was out of there in seconds.

“Let’s…”

He motioned vaguely to the corridor behind her and she followed him out of the room, back into the maze of the hospital. She thought he was leading them outside, but they ended up in an empty office she thought was the Hokage’s. He closed the door behind them.

They stared some more.

He was taller, but apart from that, he hadn’t changed much. The only noticeable difference was a striking one though – square in the middle of his forehead, there was a small seal in the shape of a purple gem, much like the one sported by the Godaime.

“It’s… good to see you,” he managed to get out.

“You too.”

She didn’t understand what was happening. She had missed him so much, had thought so many times about going back just to see how he was doing, to talk to him and hear his voice.

Was she alone in this? Maybe he didn’t want to see her. Maybe he was still bitter about how she had reacted, back then when Naruto left, how she had blamed him even though she knew he was the least at fault in all this. Maybe she should have written more, tell him she was sorry, tell him she believed in him and the changes he would work to bring.

Maybe it was too late.

“It’s… it is. It’s really…”

He didn’t look annoyed or embarrassed. It occurred to her then that this was _Sasuke_.

And Sasuke was just… plain overwhelmed.

She let out a wet chuckle and took the reins because he surely wasn’t going to. She wrapped her arms around his neck, touched their foreheads together. His hand came to rest on her waist and he looked so stunned still, so out of his depth, she had to laugh again. She drew them closer to hug him properly. He was taller, but not by much. He was trembling a little.

“I… I’m sorry, I wasn’t sure…”

“Don’t be an idiot. I’m so happy to see you, Sasuke.”

He sunk against her and they held on tight, finally, finally closing the distance after two years apart. She was crying again, it was inevitable. She believed he wouldn’t mind.

They had to look a little ridiculous, clutching each other like this in the middle of an empty office, half laughing half crying. They managed to let go after a while, though they didn’t go far. Sakura wiped her face, unable to keep from chuckling, light-headed from the sheer relief and joy she felt of being home at last, by her friends’ side.

“My shift is still a few hours,” he said, piecing back his composure despite his reddened eyes and blotchy face. “I can come to find you after if you want. We can… talk."

He seemed mildly distressed by the idea. She chuckled.

“I’ll be at home. Don’t be too long rescuing me.”

That earned her a little smile and a lighter heart. He walked her back to the entrance of the hospital and she had a feeling he would have come with her right away if he could. But Sasuke wasn’t one to ditch his duties, especially this one, she could imagine.

She made her way to her parents’ house. It was unchanged, safe from the plants in the front garden, lush and blooming. Her father had taken good care of it.

She stood for a long while at the doorstep of her home, paralyzed by an unknown reluctance. It felt insurmountable to just put her hand on the door handle, to cross the threshold.

In the end, her mother took care of it for her – she opened the door wide and almost crashed into her daughter on her way out.

“Wha- Sakura?”

“Hey Mom. Huh, I’m back.”

Her mother was immediately in tears.

“Oh my, oh my! You’ve grown! And you’re… My little girl, you’re so different!”

Her voice was strangled by emotion and Sakura chose not to hear anything negative in the exclamation. She didn’t want to fight with them, and she _was_ different. It wasn’t all that much of a physical change, but she assumed her mother could see that kind of thing. She hugged Sakura tight before ushering her inside, calling after her husband with great cheers.

“Sakura!”

Again, she was unsure of how it was going to go, and again she didn’t get what she bargained for at all – her father hugged her even tighter, if possible, smiling widely with shining eyes.

They had missed her, she realized, a lot more than she had missed them.

“How are you? You have so much to tell us!”

So she set out to do just that, bearing through their questions and the two liters of tea her mother insisted she drank. She skimmed over most of her time away though, both because it wasn’t that interesting, and because two years apart had not made talking to them any easier. She abused of the excuse of confidentiality, as if their work had been so secretive. As if any work done by Jiraiya could be anything but a loud mess – it was a wonder how he could even do any spying. Oh, she was familiar with his style now, he did get good results, it’s just that his methods were unconventional to say the least, and not always very dignified.

She didn’t see herself telling her parents that though. She felt weirdly protective of those times and of the judgement they would cast upon it.

She was grateful for Sasuke knocking at her door.

“I won’t be home late,” she promised on the doorstep, battling the guilt her parents’ saddened face stirred in her. “We’ll have plenty of time to catch up. I’m not going anywhere.”

 _Yet_ , she added for herself. They didn’t protest – hopefully they would observe a grace period before resuming their quiet disapproval act around her.

“Maybe I should get my own place too,” she pondered aloud as they left the house.

“It’s not that great,” Sasuke answered with a pout.

“Really? Ino told me it was going fine.”

“I guess it could be worse.”

She waited for him to elaborate, but it didn’t look like he would.

“What happened?” she pried gently, to get a feel of how sensitive the topic was. He grimaced.

“I had a fallout. With my father. About… six months ago. It was… bad.”

“Bad” he said, when it had resulted in him moving out of his house, despite being from a clan where they spent their entire life all piled up in the same streets and built their lives in the family house more often than not. “Bad” probably didn’t begin to cover it.

“Will you tell me?”

He bit his lips, looking pained.

“Later?”

She nodded, agreeing to drop it for now. She had a feeling it would put quite the damper on any mood, and she was on board with trying to keep the evening joyful. They could lament later, she decided. 

“I can’t believe you live with Shikamaru of all people.”

"It was a question of timing mostly, though he moved out of spite, sort of. His father told him if he wanted to keep living under their roof, he would have to start taking his future as a member of their clan and the shinobi force seriously. And… well. He doesn’t like being told what to do.”

She wouldn’t have pegged Shikamaru as the rebellious type, but then again he always had this weird dedication to his claimed lack of ambition. She wondered how much of it was a reaction to everything he had been told he could do, if only he applied himself, if only he used the great gift he had been given, if only he cared to.

He didn’t. She suspected he didn’t _want_ to care, wanted to less and less the more he was told. Maybe he would change his mind one day, but that would be when he decided to, not before.

“I clean and he takes care of the food. It’s such a hassle. I don’t know…

He stumbled on his words, face turning somber. The sun was setting and the residential streets they were crossing were dimly lit – she could hardly make out his expression, let alone the emotions hidden in his lightless eyes.

“I don’t know how Naruto did it.”

They were ten when Naruto had been sent to live with Shisui. Up until then he had been on his own, something they never questioned at the time. It was just how things were.

It made no sense though.

No wonder he would… In retrospect it made such terrible sense.

Sasuke looked sour now, and she knew he blamed himself for this, for never bringing it up before, for how blind they had been to Naruto’s life and its many daily, mundane struggles.

She had made peace with the fact that there was nothing they could have done, nothing that would have kept him by their side. His fate was sealed long before they had come into his life, from the start maybe. That didn’t mean she had given up on looking for him, far from it, but…

She wasn’t angry at him anymore.

Sasuke was different. He was closer to Naruto, closer maybe than he would admit, and he had a greater influence on his life. He still believed that he was at fault somehow, that had he done something different, sooner, had he said, if only… That it could have ended differently.

It wasn’t the first time, was quite common even, for him to manage to take the blame somehow. Harsh words thrown Naruto’s way during their Academy years – “Had I said something.” Right after their disastrous mission in Wave Country – “Had I been stronger.” After the chunin exam when Naruto withdrew for good – “Had I been better.” When he had eventually left – “Had I been enough.”

She had scolded him once, exasperated, that it was awfully pretentious of him to think he was good enough to be responsible for everything. She’d seen on his face that he did consider himself to be that good actually.

There was no changing it. And so he blamed himself.

She had added to that burden too, when she still believed it could be salvaged, that Naruto could be made to endure by their sides. She couldn’t imagine what it would have been like, had they dragged him back to the village back then.

It was best not to dwell on it, she thought.

“No news?” she asked, because it was better to look forward, to keep going. She had chased many leads about him and his… kind, with Jiraiya.

 _Jinchuuriki_ , he had explained, with great reluctance, having grown tired of her stubborn insistence and incessant questions. She had not talked to him for a week after that conversation.

“Anko and her team came back a few days ago. Izumi wouldn’t tell me much but… They did learn some things.”

“Really? What did they say? Do they know where he is?”

She knew it was a stupid question as soon as she asked. If they knew where he was, they would already be on their way. In fact, it was probably better they didn’t – she didn’t know where they stood now, the village, the senior shinobi, the Hokage.

“Naruto did go to Orochimaru. Ino did some digging – you know he’s the third Sanin, right? He was on the same team as Jiraiya and Tsunade-sama.”

“I know. Jiraiya told me about him.”

Another discussion that was like pulling a tooth. Sometimes it felt like the old man withdrew information on purpose.

And sometimes, like that time, it just felt like those things that are too painful to talk about. But Sakura wouldn’t be deterred.

“They… used to be friends.”

The three Sanin. Both of them had brushed up their history, it seemed. Sasuke was Tsunade’s disciple after all.

“It’s kind of funny,” she said, though she didn’t feel much like laughing.

“What?”

“Well… each of us went to one of them.”

Sasuke frowned.

“Ah. Yeah.”

Their fate would be different though.

“Izumi said… there are sure Naruto is not with him anymore.

“What? How? Where is he then?”

“We don’t know. But for the past eight months at least Orochimaru’s men have been after him too, to no avail. No one can find them.”

“I know about Gaara,” Sakura added, pensive. “We did our research and… the host from Takigakure went missing too. As well as one from Kumo. The others, we’re not sure. And we don’t know if… If they just left. Or if it’s-if the Akatsuki got to them.”

No one was willing to breach the subject, each village staying stubbornly tight-lipped on the matter of their jinchuuriki. Jiraiya had warned them that the organization was after the hosts, and they had heeded his words, maybe, but they had refused any sort of help, any offer to share resources and knowledge, so that they could protect their own. Jiraiya said it was because they were all wary of other villages trying to steal a Biju for themselves in the process. It was infuriating.

She wanted to believe the missing-nins were safe, because they would have heard, right? If something had happened to them.

If something had happened to Naruto.

It wasn’t backed up by any rational thinking, but she just couldn’t accept that he could disappear from this world without them knowing about it. It couldn’t be. Naruto was somewhere out there. They could find him again.

“Tell me about your trip,” Sasuke asked. She was content with letting this subject go for now. Tomorrow the mission reports and the update on a worrying situation – tonight the catching up of the more mundane aspects of their life.

She mostly talked and he mostly listened. He was never much of a chatterbox, unlike her, and she felt a bit self-conscious of it at times, but he didn’t complain and she didn’t bring it up either. Her tales must have been quite disjointed, her mind jumping from one memory to another without much consistency. All evening a soft, private smile stayed rooted on her friend’s face though, so she figured it wasn’t that bad.

.

She had been waking up at dawn for the past two years and thus was also up with the sun the next day. But when there had always been something to do then – mostly training, wandering around, or apologizing to the owner of a hostess bar. Sakura found herself with a sudden abundance of time and nothing to fill it with.

What was she supposed to do? Did she need to report to the Assignment Desk, go back on futile missions? They had done their fair share of fighting with Jiraiya, but not in the way it was done in the village at all. Jiraiya did complete missions, in a way, just not things that had been assigned or that he was paid to do.

He called them “missions” but they weren’t really. Retrieving a girl kidnapped by bandits, driving away some wild beast from a scared village, helping a very old lady to bury her dog. It seemed to come naturally to him, and he didn’t ask for anything in return, although the people he helped would often give him something anyway, if only a meal, a place to stay the night, a worthless trinket.

Jiraiya had quickly gotten into the habit of offering her services too, whether she liked it or not, especially when those favors entailed physical labour. She had spent an absurd amount of time picking some strangers’ vegetables and helping fix their barns or fences while he fanned himself in the shade. And then he had the gale to take all the credit.

She couldn’t really be mad. It was nice, to be useful this way, to put her talents to good. She had built up quite the muscle's strength to be able to handle Zabuza’s sword. Jiraiya had taught her how to use chakra to increase her body’s strength too.

She was stronger than most now. She could protect herself, she could defend those who couldn’t. Even chasing a runaway cat had felt more rewarding this way, despite getting only a basket of apple and numerous cuts on her arms for her trouble.

She was quite aware that was no way to make a living though. Did that mean she had to help only those who could pay her for it? That didn’t appeal to her at all.

She thought about seeking out Sasuke or Ino, but her friends had their own life now, they had their part to play and the duties going with it, they were busy.

She would have to find her place too.

She settled for going through her morning training routine to start with, even though she didn’t dare pull out her sword, afraid of destroying her parents’ very small garden. She had worked up quite a sweat when someone interrupted her.

“I was going to suggest some friendly sparring, to assess your progress, but now I’m not so sure.”

“Kakashi-sensei!”

“Yo, Sakura.”

She ran to the gate to greet him properly. He pat her head with a smile in his eyes. He hadn’t changed one bit.

“Afraid I could take you on?” she laughed. It would be fun for sure. She didn’t overestimate herself, but she was sure she could give him a good show.

“I’m an old man now.”

She snorted.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’ve come to fetch you. The Hokage wants to see you.”

She nodded, grateful at how fast that was – she needed to know what she was expected to do now. They set off side by side.

"Was it good then? Your time away?"

There was some measure of guilt in his tone, she thought. She nodded.

“It wasn’t always easy. But I’m glad I went.”

He seemed relieved. She was okay with easing his mind over this, even if she did feel at times that he had simply not cared enough about her to be a proper teacher. It didn’t matter now either way.

“What about you, sensei? Trained some other terrible kids?”

“Yes.”

She faltered, caught off guard.

“Really?”

“For a little over a year. They’re not quite ready for the chunin exam yet, but they’ll get there. We have time.”

Things would have been quite different, she thought, had they not entered the exam when they did. They would have been spared a lot of heartaches and needless pain for one.

“Cool. That’s cool.”

She didn’t know why she was so weirded out by the idea of Kakashi training another team. Maybe because they had been his first, and so she had never wrapped her head around the fact that there would be others.

Maybe because she didn’t feel like he had quite earned the right to move on to the next so easily. Which was absurd – their team 7 didn’t exist anymore.

Jiraiya was in the Hokage office when they stepped in, joking with the Godaime. It was a little jarring, to know that they got along, were close and respected each other a lot, when she knew what a slouch the old man was. At least it helped to see the Godaime in a more approachable way.

“Sakura, hello. Thank you for coming.”

Sakura sketched an awkward salute, hating that she was still shy with the woman when her friends had obviously become well acquainted with her. What was that about anyway?

“You wanted to see me, Hokage-sama?”

“Hm. You must know that all your fellow ninja made chunin during the last exam. I wanted to discuss your own promotion.”

“I imagine the next exam isn’t too soon…”

“It’s several months away. And you don’t have a team anymore.”

She didn’t have to say it so bluntly.

“But you’ve been training under Jiraiya for more than two years, and he was very praiseful of your skills. Besides, you completed enough missions that it wouldn’t make sense to keep you as a genin.”

Sakura glanced at Jiraiya, but he looked up to avoid her gaze. She smiled, both exasperated and fond – the norm, when it came to the old man.

“What are you saying?”

“Kakashi has agreed to do your assessment. If he judges your level to be adequate, and if you pass the written exam, you’ll be promoted to chunin right away.”

She couldn’t help but feel a bit skeptical – wasn’t that too good to be true? But if a fight against Kakashi was all it took…

“Are you sure? Why would you want to rush it like this?”

“Genin can’t get more than C-level missions, but you’re way past that. It makes no sense holding you back. Unless you’d prefer to wait?”

She couldn’t tell if the woman was genuine or fucking with her. Well, she supposed it wasn’t in the interest of the village to deprive itself of higher ranking shinobi. And she did intend to go on missions… Specifically, one mission.

Indeed they wouldn’t send genin after the missing jinchuuriki.

“Alright. Thank you, Hokage-sama.”

“Don’t thank me yet, you’ve yet to pass.”

It would be arrogant to comment on that, even if she thought it. She bowed politely and turned to Kakashi.

“Ready when you are, sensei.”

He smiled.

“Right now it is then.”

.

Sakura was different, Kakashi pondered.

They all were, he supposed, after two years and some, but it wasn’t so obvious for the others, probably because he had been there all along to watch them grow and change. If he paused to think about how they were when Sakura had left, he could draw up the differences. But it wasn’t as flagrant as getting Sakura back like this.

There was something serious, almost menacing in the way she carried herself, the way she looked at the world around her. She had gathered a bit of a reputation among the people in the Land of Fire, as Jiraiya’s fiery apprentice, and he could picture it now, the one she defended and the ones she fought against, how they would all remember crossing her path.

There was no fear nor apprehension on her face and in her stature as she faced him on the training ground. That wasn’t to say that she was relaxed or carefree. But she was confident in what she could do against him. She had always been moved in part by fear, of getting hurt or seeing others hurt too, and she managed to turn it into fuel but it also made her reckless and easily destabilized.

It didn’t look like something that could happen now. Sakura knew her worth. She knew what she was doing.

Kakashi wondered who would win now, between his students. Maybe he would have them fight to find out. Sasuke was exceptionally talented and strong, but he hadn’t focused on battle training the way Sakura had in their time apart.

“What are the rules?” she asked, pulling out dark gloves from her weapon pouch.

“One hit?”

“That’s it?”

She seemed almost offended.

“One death blow then. Don’t actually kill me though, pleased.”

She nodded seriously and put her guard up. Kakashi thought she would draw her sword, but she seemed content to stick to her fists for now. Just as they were about to get going, a few spectators came to join them.

“I heard there was a show,” Ino said, waving at them with a smile, Sasuke in tow. Kiba was following with Shino – done with gate duty then. Or maybe they were on the run? Ah, Kiba would, surely, but Shino would never let him.

Kakashi ignored them to focus on the fight – they could infer what was going on for themselves. Or Ino would take great pleasure in telling them, since she probably knew everything already. It was frankly worrying that no one could figure out how she gathered her intel, but well, as long as she used it for good...

Well, not for harm at least.

Sakura didn’t seem bothered by the attention, though she was just a touch tenser than a moment ago. She didn’t back down nor say anything tough – she launched herself at him.

Her hits were fast and precise, packed tight with power. Efficient too – she was mobile but seldom flailed her limbs around, posture solid, close to the ground. Much more grounded than the usual style, including his.

She was spacing herself, he realized. Stamina was always one of her weak spots, so she didn’t waste any energy on unnecessary moves. She chased him near the tree line and launched her fist at his head – he dodged, as she wasn’t fast enough. It was too late to stop her hand from colliding with the nearest tree.

It turned out it was the tree they ought to worry about. There was a dent in the trunk and she didn’t bat an eye when she spun around to face him once more.

“That must hurt,” he said airily. Looking at the tree, he was glad he had moved out of that one. She gave a light chuckle, a little sheepish.

“It’s Tsunade-sama’s technique. I’m nowhere near her level but… I needed strength to wield my sword.”

“And you have great chakra control. It’s perfect then,” Kakashi praised with a smile. She blushed, caught a little off guard.

He had gotten better at this.

“Why don’t you take out your sword? I’m curious to see what you can do with it.”

“I can?”

“Of course.”

She looked pleased with the prospect, although she could be proud of her taijutsu already. More had gathered to witness the display, and they all paid rapt attention at Sakura unrolling a scroll directly from her weapon pouch, tapping lightly at the seal inked in the paper and pulling out…

It was even bigger than he remembered – even with the tip broken off, it was almost as tall as her. The muscles on her arms tightened to hold its weight, but she didn’t look to be struggling. She rested the dull edge on her shoulder, crouching into her guard.

“That must hurt too,” Kakashi commented. He was serious behind his carefree façade though, having recognized that she was too. He couldn’t help the wave of nostalgia and regret that seized him at the sight of Zabuza’s sword. When had Naruto taken it, and why? He wondered if, beyond Sakura’s affinity for heavy weaponry, she felt a particular kinship to the sword and what it had brought upon their team. Was she paying tribute by using it, or on the contrary, exorcising? Maybe he would ask her later.

The sword, massive as it was, didn’t slow her down – she was as fast as she had been with a regular katana, though she seldom waved this one around with only one hand. Kakashi had a hard time approaching her, and it was no use when he managed, for she wasn’t of Zabuza’s stature at all – the blade was large and sturdy enough for her to use as a shield.

Kakashi recalled her saying she liked kenjutsu because it allowed her to keep the distance between her and her enemies. In that sense, this sword was perfect for her.

There was something strange though, in the way she wielded it, that he couldn’t put his fingers on. She was focused and determined, didn’t brag nor taunt when Kakashi took a few steps back, assessing. She still looked a little proud when he reached up to uncover his left eye. 

The next time she swung the sword, Kakashi put up a long kunai to block it, but she twisted it at the last moment, skidding across the kunai, aiming straight for his forearm.

He wasn’t fast enough to get his arm out of the way.

But when the blade crashed against him, though he let out a surprised cry under the heavy blow, there was no blood in sight, where it should have cut his arm clean off.

She drew the sword away, looking smug.

“It’s dull,” Kakashi said, frowning.

“It’s hard to control it still. It would be too dangerous to sharpen it.”

“But then…”

She didn’t let him continue – she threw the blade in a wide arc that would have cut him in half had he stayed where he was, but the move was slow and obvious and he had no issue jumping back to avoid it.

He recognized it too late. She grinned.

“You’re dead, sensei.”

Though the blade had flown a good ten centimeters from his chest, his uniform was cut open and there was a long line of red trickling lightly across his skin. She had only grazed him, because he wasn’t an enemy. But there was no doubt if she had wanted the blade to be longer, it would have been.

“It only cut when I want it too,” she explained. She was a little embarrassed still, like she was trying not to brag.

She could though. He whistled, impressed.

She had been able to lengthen her sword against Sasuke during the chunin exam, but it was far thinner than this one and easier to wield around. Kakashi’s wound was visible but shallow, which meant she had controlled the length perfectly, so that he wouldn’t be wounded too badly but wouldn’t come out unscathed either. This, plus the chakra running through her arms and legs, all her muscles, to give her the strength to lift the sword…

Kakashi knew her chakra control was off the chart, but this was ridiculous.

“Any other tricks you wish to demonstrate?” Kakashi asked, gesturing at the gathered crowd. She blushed, only now realizing the sparring session had turned into quite the show.

“I’ll keep some suspense,” she said around a laugh. He wondered what else Jiraiya could have taught her. What he had seen wasn’t any passed down secret though, wasn’t anything rare or unique. It was just the result of tremendous work, a mastery of basic skills so refined that it took it all to the next level.

What would she top that with?

“As far as I’m concerned, you pass with flying color, Sakura.”

She beamed.

“Thank you sensei.”

.

Kakashi praised her and she couldn’t help but blush, her friends cheered and she reddened even more. She knew the scope of her improvement, knew she could be proud of how far she’d come, but it wasn’t the same to hear it from others, from the people she valued and cared about, from those she admired. Hayate and Yugao approached them, smiling lightly.

“I see you took care to make us look good out there, Sakura,” Yugao said, flustering her even further. She couldn’t handle the pride and softness shining in her teachers’ eyes, and she could only exhale an embarrassed laugh and avoid everyone’s gaze.

Fortunately for her, she had pretty good friends.

“Oï, Sakura!”

Sakura braced herself for Ino jumping on her back with great enthusiasm. She didn’t budge, to Ino’s delight.

“You know what, I like that. Carry me!”

Sakura rolled her eyes but complied, sliding her hands under Ino’s thighs for better support. Ino grabbed her shoulders more firmly. Only then did Sasuke join them.

“That was good,” he said, sounding genuine despite his neutral expression. Sakura tried to shrug – not easy with Ino weighing down on her shoulders.

“Sakura! We need to fight some times!” Kiba exclaimed, looking extremely taken with the idea.

“Ah, sure.”

“Not afraid to get your ass kicked Kiba?” Ino taunted.

“Hey! I’ve been training too!”

“How did you even know we would be here? Did you meet on the way?” Sakura asked. Sasuke scoffed.

“No. She slept on our couch, again. I’m going to start charging you for rent, Ino.”

“Yeah, yeah, you keep saying that. And I just know everything. We snatched the others on the way.”

He clicked his tongue, annoyed. She just laughed.

Sakura was seized with the urge to interrupt the exchange. Kakashi did it for her.

“We can go back to the Hokage right now Sakura, if you want,” he proposed. The rest of the group was dispersing, but Sasuke and Ino lingered.

“Yeah, that’s good. Huh, are you coming?” she asked her friends, Ino still firmly perched on her back. She sighed dramatically, blowing air on Sakura’s ear and cheek, making her shiver.

“I am,” Sasuke said. “Jiraiya is supposed to talk about his findings to the higher-ups.”

“I’m not,” Ino went on, pouting. ”I have work to do.”

“Just say that Tsunade-hime won’t let you sit in.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll still find a way to know.”

“Or you could just wait until I tell you,” Sasuke shot back with an eye roll.

“And let you have more information than me? Never.”

Sakura could hear the grin in her voice, and despite his annoyance, Sasuke looked faintly amused too. This was familiar territory for them, she could tell. Usual, a habit.

A habit that certainly didn’t exist two years ago.

“And you can go, Sasuke?” she kept on asking, not knowing what else to say. They started walking toward the Hokage Tower.

“Hm. Tsunade-sama lets me attend to this sort of thing, if I want to.”

“Really?”

“Didn’t he tell you? He’s her personal slave now.”

“I’m not her slave Ino, seriously.”

“She makes him write reports and official letters in her place,” Ino went on, ignoring him. “And fetch documents from the archive, assess the mission reports, make tea…”

“You’re just jealous because I get way more intel than you do.”

“In your dreams.”

Sakura tightened her grip on Ino’s tighs hard enough to divert her attention, and odd weight lodged in her throat.

“I thought she would only teach you medical jutsu,” she said.

“At first yeah, but he asked her to mentor him in her other duties as well, and she’s been taking advantage of him ever since.”

“She’s not taking advantage of me. I’m her best student, it’s normal that…”

“A-ha!” Ino cut, triumphant, while Sasuke’s expression soured as if he regretted his words. “Congratulations, you held on what, ten minutes, before mentioning it? You’re getting better.”

He cast her a murderous look.

“Am I missing something?” Sakura interjected before she was cast out of the conversation entirely.

“He didn’t tell you? You talked for hours yesterday and you didn’t tell her, Sasuke? You _are_ getting better!”

“Ino, would you _please_ stop.”

"It so happens, cherry pie, that our Sasuke here turned out to be exceptionally gifted at medical ninjutsu. A “natural talent with a promising future”, those are the Goidame’s exact words. And how do I know that? Because Sasuke has quoted them back to me many, _many_ times.”

Ino was obviously taking great delight at teasing Sasuke, who was red and embarrassed and muttering curses under his breath. Kakashi was also amused. He was also in on it. Sakura was the odd one out.

Unpleasant.

“What about your brother?” she asked, regretting it instantly. That was unnecessarily mean – Sakura had listened to enough ranting on Sasuke’s part to know there was quite a large amount of frustration to be found in him when it came to his older brother. They were very close – Sakura was awfully jealous when she saw them together, as she always dreamed of having siblings instead of being stuck alone with her parents – but he also suffered from Itachi’s reputation as a born prodigy. Granted, it had lessened in the years before her departure, as Itachi had inexplicably distanced himself from his shinobi duties, but it was still a strong incentive for Sasuke’s drive to always push himself one step further.

To her surprise though, Sasuke didn’t look upset at all. He looked, in fact, like he was very pleased, but trying very hard to hide it.

“It… turned out he wasn’t gifted at _everything_ after all,” Sasuke mumbled through his teeth, glaring at Ino when she laughed again.

He smiled, despite the teasing. As inconsequential as he was trying to pass it for – he hadn’t even mentioned it to her before – she knew what it meant to him, to come before Itachi for the first time in their life. He had seemed so at ease at the hospital, so confident, completely in his element. He had found his path.

“Yeah, yeah, we all know you’re the very best, Sasuke.”

Sakura was glad when they reached the Hokage Tower. Ino hopped off, taking the direction of the Intelligence Department, promising she’d meet them later knowing more than they did. Sakura stuck her tongue at her.

The Hokage office was crowded with jounin and clan heads. Sakura greeted them with a nod, smiling politely at those who recognized her – namely, Ino’s father and her friends' instructors. Sasuke’s father looked grim and even grimmer when he spotted Sasuke, who deliberately looked elsewhere. Jiraiya ruffled her hair quite rudely, looking way too pleased that he could get away with it – she couldn't very well punch the Sanin in front of the village commandment.

Those were all expected faces. Except…

“Huh, Sasuke. What is Hinata doing here?”

She was flanked by two members of the Hyuuga clan Sakura didn’t recognize, a man and a woman, the first quite young, the other middle-aged, both standing straight and tall, serious. There was nothing to be read on Hinata’s blank face.

He gave her a look, as if to say “isn’t it obvious?”, and she rolled her eyes. No it wasn’t. It certainly was for him, but not for her. Understanding dawned on him and he bit his lips, embarrassed.

“Oh. Right. You don’t know.”

She made a face at him. _Of course_ she didn’t know. She was tumbling around the countryside with an old jerk, she wasn’t keeping tabs on the Hyuuga clan.

“I should… have told you about that. It’s, well, Hinata… she’s the Hyuuga clan head now.”

What.

“Since, hm, since Neji left the village.”

_What?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No but like, stay. Stay please, I'll explain it, I swear it makes sense.
> 
> This is soooo nerve-wracking cause a lot of you are waiting for this and I don't know! I don't know if you'll like it, I don't know if I'll manage to take this where I want to take it, I don't know. I hope you'll give me a chance still. My biggest fear is missing something plot-wise and only realizing it further down the road... I'm trying to have a couple of chapters in advance but it's hard.
> 
> BUT ANYWAY. We're on. You can say hi on [Tumblr](http://inrainprose.tumblr.com), I ramble about updates and meta and also post fanarts from me and others. Let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Then and Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am BLOWN AWAY by the feedbacks chapter 1 got, I honestly didn't think there were so many of you waiting on this.  
> Today let's get some answers about what happened during those two years. Fair warning, we're going to indulge in some flashbacks in the upcoming chapters. It's not my favored method but there are some things I need to show as they were instead of retelling them, and I need them into the story. So. Here we go!
> 
> ALSO I finally caved and had someone look over this chapter! So you cant thank **dancibayo** for less clunky word-for-word translations that actually don't make sense in english in this chapter!
> 
> Btw by popular demand (two people and me to myself) [I drew Naruto and Shisui.](https://inrainprose.tumblr.com/post/616834365354328064/inraindrawz-if-you-dont-want-to-get-covered-in)  
> Also drew [Sasuke](https://inrainprose.tumblr.com/post/616445885515235328/inraindrawz-sasuke-in-flip-the-coin-shippuden) and [Sakura](https://inrainprose.tumblr.com/post/616445749324054528/inraindrawz-sakura-in-flip-the-coin-shippuden)'s Flippuden design.

The silence could be cut with a knife in the council room of the Hyuuga clan. Hinata sat as still as a stone.

Tokuma was standing in front of the gathered head of the clan, stoic and expressionless but tense as a bowstring, bent in a bow, jaw locked shut, Hinata’s father weighing him down from his seat at the center of the council with the full strength of his implacable authority.

It had been confirmed that Hanabi would graduate from the Academy with the next class, a full two years before the usual age. A source of pride for her father, and a blow for Tokuma, who was to teach in the Academy only as long as Hanabi attended.

Her father had stated that he would be returning to active duty as soon as Hanabi was promoted to genin.

Tokuma had just requested to be allowed to remain an Academy teacher.

Hinata was trembling from where she watched on the side, her father’s silence even worse than if he had been yelling or raging like anyone would. Tokuma bore the weight of his judging eyes on his neck – he wasn’t to meet his gaze.

“What did I just say, Tokuma?” the clan leader asked, cold and hard as ice.

“That I was to go back on the active roster after Hanabi-sama’s graduation.”

“And what is your answer?”

Tokuma was barely breathing. He still replied with a steady voice, without wavering.

“I would like to remain in my current position, Hiashi-sama.”

Her father’s anger barely expressed itself, yet it was unmistakable to any member of the Hyuuga clan. All those gathered in the council room now could see it, and they could only wait in fear for his wrath to break out on the young man’s back.

“You will not.”

 _Please say no more_ , she thought desperately. _Please let it go._

But if Tokuma had found the strength and courage to ask once, he wasn’t going to just stop there, she was sure. Despite the consequences.

“I am asking again, Hiashi-sama.”

It could have been granted. It didn’t matter. They were well represented among the chunin and jounin already, and Tokuma did fine work at the Academy. It’s true he spent a lot of time with Uchiha Shisui, who worked with him as a teacher, and it was frowned upon, but it wasn’t such an issue that it would warrant his removal. There was no reason to refuse.

Apart from the principle of it.

That’s why Tokuma didn’t bother to ask for an explanation. He wouldn’t have received any even if there was one, but he had to know there wasn’t.

“Are you?”

“I am.”

Her father lifted his hand in the ominous hand seal so dreaded by the secondary branch.

“Are you still?”

“I am.”

Hinata bit the inside of her mouth, tasting blood. But before Tokuma’s defiance could be punished, there was movement on Hinata’s right side and…

It was foolish of her to hope Neji would sit through this without stepping in.

He had been getting increasingly volatile and rebellious in the past few months, defying orders and being insolent, and had been punished more times than she could count. He stood between Tokuma and her father now, wrathful and outraged, not unlike their clan leader, though for very different reasons.

“Step away, Neji!” he stormed, still ready to activate the seal, as everyone in the room held their breath. She wanted to scream but as always, the words were jammed somewhere down her throat, her whole body locked down. She couldn’t even close her eyes.

Neji was about to talk back and anything he said would only make this worse.

It was Tokuma who stopped him. Suddenly he tackled the other boy and slammed his head on the floor, falling down too to fold both of them on their knees, repentant.

“We are in the wrong, Hiashi-sama. Please forgive us.”

Neji tried to struggle out of his grip, but Tokuma caught his gaze then, and they exchanged… Something. She couldn’t tell. Neji’s nose was bleeding, his lips too. Not from the fall, she realized, but from how hard he was biting it down.

He kept his lips sealed.

Her father assessed them for a long, long time, before dismissing them with a wave of his hand.

“We’ll sort this out later.”

They would no doubt be disciplined, but for now, it was reprieve. The whole room sighed in relief, the meeting was adjourned.

She had to put it out of her mind to go through the rest of the day, but it was haunting her now as she lied motionless on her back, eyes wide open, unable to find rest amidst the raging storm of her thoughts.

There was something, something. It wasn’t like all the other times. There was a reason why Tokuma had so abruptly cut Neji short, why he had changed gear so fast as soon as her cousin had gotten involved. There was a reason why Neji had followed through even if he wanted nothing more than to fight any and everyone these days, even if it was his master, even if it left him writhing on the ground, skull split open by pain.

The main house was silent as the dead around her, yet she still thought she heard the whispers of hushed conversations, some secrets running around her but staying far out of reach. Whatever was going on with Neji, she was sure to be the last one in the known, if she didn’t go looking for it.

She got up without a sound. She crossed the corridor, light-footed on the boards she knew wouldn’t creak under her weight. The night was chilly – she tightened her kimono around her body as she crossed the inner gardens to the barracks of the bunke.

It was quiet too. She moved toward Neji’s room. He shared with Tokuma, because the members of the bunke didn’t get their own pavilion until they reached twenty-five or got married. The two had always been close.

The room was empty.

Tokuma had a modicum of freedom when it came to leaving the Hyuuga compound, but Neji had nowhere else to go, and he wasn’t on a mission. She left the barracks, still careful despite her growing anxiousness, and called up her Byakugan to look for her cousin.

She found him leaving the kitchens, but it was impossible to tell herself that he had just gone to get something to eat in the middle of the night. One, because Neji’s discipline was ironclad and he never indulged in any whim, ever.

And two, because his clothes and weapons were gone from his room.

She intercepted him on his way to the garden gate, where only one member of the bunke would be on guard duty. Tokuma, if she had to guess, because Neji was carrying a bag, Neji was heading determinedly to the gate.

Neji was leaving.

“No.”

It was barely a whisper, just a breathy, pitiful sound, but it carried across the eerie silence of the garden. The next second Neji had a kunai under her throat.

“Don’t make a sound. I won’t hesitate, Hinata.”

She believed him. She nodded, too quick. The blade nicked at the soft skin of her throat. She didn’t flinch. He didn’t comment.

“Don’t go,” she croaked past the knot in her throat, past the rust of her voice she so seldom used.

“Don’t try to stop me.”

His voice was full of hatred and he would hurt her, she thought, if she tried to interfere.

But she couldn’t let him go. It couldn’t end that way. How could she keep on going, if he wasn’t there? He was the only reason why she hadn’t given up yet.

“They’ll kill you,” she whispered, trembling in fear, her mind rebelling at trying to conjure her father’s reaction to Neji’s disappearance.

“They won’t find me.”

What was he talking about? The Hyuuga could see for miles and their seal could reach for miles too. Who knew how far it could catch him? Where was he even going?

“No. No, no.”

She had to talk, she had to tell him… But she couldn’t. Talking was too hard for her. All the energy she spent putting a foot in front of the other, processing all that was happening around her, sorting through her messy thoughts… She couldn’t reach out to the world on top of it all, she couldn’t form all this into spoken words, it was too much.

“I don’t have to obey you,” he snarled.

But he did, didn’t he?

She raised her hand.

His eyes widened before his expression hardened even more, his rage turned on her now.

“Can you do it, Hinata-sama?”

She could, as in her father had taught her, a few months back, since she had been making progress with her training and Hanabi was having surprising difficulties with the Eight Palm Triagram – the succession of the clan leadership was still into question. So she knew how to.

Now to know if she _could_...

He scoffed, always so disdainful, so belittling. She knew how he despised her and the entire clan, but specifically her, for her weakness and inadequacy, her lack of talent, for how ill-fitted she was to this world and how privileged still, because of her birth. But none of it mattered. It didn’t matter that he hated her and that it ate away at her soul, it didn’t matter if he never forgave her. She could keep all her feelings to her own, she didn’t need them known nor acknowledged nor returned in any way.

But he couldn’t be gone. He couldn’t leave.

He couldn’t leave when she had to stay.

He made to turn away.

She signed.

She understood immediately. It took but a second, when his eyes widened in pure shock but he didn’t react otherwise and she understood why Tokuma had stopped him, had made them bow before he could get punished by her father.

He knew it wouldn’t work.

He knew that somehow, Neji’s seal would fail. That it had been damaged, or was simply gone.

She could only stare at the horror on his face morphing into hostile hatred, as she realized that she had broken clean off the bond that still existed between them, the last tattered remnants of their relationship. His rage couldn’t hide the sorrow in his eyes, that she would do this to him, that she would truly attempt to stop him this way.

She was disgusted too.

He raised a hand – she thought he would hit her, but understood he was already passed that, already removed from it all, from her, already gone. He raised a hand to his face, to tug at his forehead protector.

To reveal his skin, white and unblemished, only the faintest scar visible where the Cage Bird Seal used to be, stark against his pale complexion. Gone now.

She stayed frozen in place as he tossed the headband at her feet and turned away, went through the door without the slightest hesitation. Only when the Byakugan could no longer make out his fading shape did she sink to her knees, shaking all over and unable to breathe.

She twisted the headband around her hands, hard enough to bruise, staring but unable to recognize them at hers, neither their pain nor the fingers that had tried to bend Neji into submission, to hurt him enough that he would obey her.

What if it had worked?

She broke into a cold sweat and threw up on the ground, and then she passed out.

.

She was tucked in bed when she opened her eyes and for a moment she thought, prayed, that it had all been a nightmarish fever dream, that she had not betrayed her cousin in the most heinous way and that he had not turned his back on them for good. But she heard the commotion outside then, felt the agitation rippling through the compound and the taste of bile in her mouth.

She saw the forehead protector resting on the floor next to her futon, and she knew it was all very real.

She hid it in the pocket of her hoodie. When she stepped outside to see what was going on, she stumbled on two of her father’s lieutenants escorting Tokuma toward the council room.

He stared at her with steady eyes, resolute despite their infinite sadness. They had to know Neji was gone. They had to know Tokuma had been the one to help him. She thought she could remember, in her daze, him carrying her to her room during the night, setting her carefully on her bed.

They took him away. It wasn’t hard to guess what they would do to him.

It was so easy then. It was so simple, so intuitive, she was stunned that it hadn’t come to her sooner, that it had seemed so insurmountable just a few days, just a few hours ago. There was nothing easier than to go into the bunke’s side of the compound, to walk all the way to their common area, in an uproar over the recent events. It was the easiest thing really, to go kneel in front of Neji’s mother, who ruled over the bunke, to meet her despaired gaze.

“If you want,” she said, throat burning, eyes too, “I will help you.”

Easy for them too, to make the decision at that moment. It’s not like it hadn’t been brewing for months, years, decades now. Even counting out the members of the bunke loyal to their clan’s system, they still outnumbered vastly the main branch.

Easy to walk into the council room and stand beside Tokuma kneeling on the floor, easy to defy her father. She couldn't find a trace of the fear that had paralyzed her all her life every time she met his gaze, she couldn’t bring herself to care about the consequences, the pain to be endured and the punishment they might face, because Neji was gone with only hatred for her in his heart, and what could be worse than this?

“What is the meaning of this, Hinata?” her father asked, voice tight with fury, even though he had to know, had to have guessed already.

Hoheto, his second in command, stalked toward her, and the second branch members around her flinched away, because no amount of determination would free them of the fear that seized their heart in the presence of a member of the first branch.

But she had nothing to fear from him. Hinata has no seal branded on her forehead – not that it was guaranteed to stay that way forever, as her father often threatened, but for now, she didn’t need to bow to that pressure. And she had been spending a lot of time in the woods, training on her own, pushing herself too hard and worrying her teammates. But she couldn’t stop, because she was sure that if she trained hard enough, if she became strong enough…

Then maybe, finally, she would stop being afraid.

She slapped his palm away and slammed her own on his chest, bringing blood to his lips. In a proper fight she wouldn’t stand a chance, but he wasn’t expecting a proper fight. Being underestimated was Hinata’s only edge, and she made good use of it.

She had turned up quite the talent at assassination.

“Father,” she said politely, out of place in the war-like state of mind of the two opposing factions, the main branch on one side, the second on the other. “I have come to challenge your position as the head of the Hyuuga clan.”

It was probably the longest sentence she had ever uttered to her father.

Easy again, for all those present to assess the situation. She was still the heir of the clan, legitimate in her claim. She had numbers on her side and they were all aware that it would make up for the use of the seal, because they couldn’t take all of them down at once. They couldn’t wipe out three-quarters of the clan either, and maybe some couldn’t take arms against their own family either. The only thing her father could possibly do was dispute her status as the heir, but then…

Hanabi crossed the room to stand at her side, her face hard and unreadable. She took Hinata’s hand. Her grip was too tight. It hurt. Hinata didn’t flinch. Her other hand was buried in her pocket, clutched around Neji’s allegiance to Konoha, which he had left behind.

It was easy, easy.

And it was too late.

.

.

“Anyway. That’s more or less what happened.”

Kiba concluded this by a loud, obnoxious slurping of the rest of his juice through his straw, before shrugging at Sakura as if to say “what can we do?”.

He made sure to shrug with only one shoulder though, so as not to disturb Hinata who was resting her head on the other, unfocused and quiet, making no sign to want to join the conversation at any point. Sakura raised an eyebrow at Kiba, trying to convey her questions since it seemed rude to just ask aloud. He half-shrugged again.

“Words get bent easily. She wants it to be told as it was.”

Sitting on the bench by her side, Ino and Sasuke were engaged in an intense game of stress, cards flying around rapidly, giving the illusion of being out of this talk. It was old news for them after all, they had lived through it more than a year ago. Sakura was the only one stunned here.

She had wanted to _kill_ Sasuke at the meeting, and Ino too for that matter. Couldn’t they have led with that? Wasn’t it on the list of things they should have told her first? They had placated her by promising Kiba would bring her up to speed. Which now found them sitting at the outside table of a cheap café, sharing sweets and heavy stories.

“And the Hokage didn’t say anything?”

“Technically, it wasn’t of any concern to her. The clan can appoint a new leader whenever and for whatever reason. As long as they all agree…”

Agree maybe wasn’t the appropriate term, she thought. He had glossed over the whole confrontation and how it had been resolved, but she supposed he would have mentioned bloodshed, had it happened.

“I see. But…”

Surely some people outside the clan ought to have said something anyway. Regarding the whole affair, regarding Hinata’s age, and her… How did that even work? She wasn’t any more loquacious than she had been as a child, Sakura couldn’t imagine her debating current issues and asserting herself in a conversation with other clan leaders and elders. But again, it felt rude to ask with the girl sitting right there, even if she gave no indication of being present in the moment whatsoever.

Sakura seemed to recall the main goal of the Hyuuga’s branch system was to ensure the protection of the Byakugan. But the Uchiha didn’t need it to keep a firm hold on their dojutsu, so she supposed the argument didn’t hold. More than a year, and it looked like it was working fine enough. Hinata wasn’t on her own, and she had the support of a large portion of her clan. Sakura would have to content herself with that for now.

“Does that mean…”

She made a vague gesture at her forehead, wincing at her own lack of tact. Hinata tensed up ever so slightly, but her eyes didn’t move from the spot she was staring at on the wooden table. Kiba pouted.

“No. They only managed to weaken them, so that they… eh. Couldn’t kill. Anymore. But no one has been able to figure out how to take them off for good, so the seals remain, for now. They’re just not to be activated anymore, under any circumstances.

“Then how…”

She knew the answer before she was done with the question. Kiba must have seen the understanding on her face, because he nodded with a helpless shrug.

“Neji met Naruto outside the village. We never got much more information, but he stayed in the hope that he could free other members of the bunke. Tokuma was in the known, but he doesn’t know how it worked. Neji’s been branded a missing-nin. We looked for him, of course, and we were not the only ones. The Byakugan makes him a valuable target but… No one found anything.”

There was no way it wasn’t linked, right?

“Do you think Neji’s with Naruto now?”

Kiba went to answer but a minute shift of Hinata’s stance called his focus to her. She only blinked once as a sign that she was tuned in now.

“We hope,” she said simply.

Sakura knew next to nothing about Neji, and what she knew didn’t endear him much to her, but she could get behind the feeling. It meant he wasn’t alone. If Naruto had Neji, and Gaara too, at least, if they had each other instead of being on their own…

Yeah, she hoped they did.

Kiba patted Hinata’s head gently, a sad look on his face, but wiped it off quickly to go back to a more cheerful disposition.

“So. That’s it, I guess.”

They chuckled lightly at the awkwardness of the conclusion. Hanabi approached the table then – she had been standing guard a little further down the street.

“It’s time to go back, Hinata-sama.”

Hinata nodded and complied without delay, following her sister out, both with matching serious expression on their pale face. Sakura and Kiba both watched them go with a frown.

“Is she doing okay?” Sakura asked. Kiba sighed, weary.

“She’s… holding on. That’s all she’s been doing really.”

“At first we thought she would… We didn’t think she would,” Ino said, rejoining the exchange but fumbling with her words. “It’s hard to know really. We’re all trying to help, but she doesn’t talk about any of it.”

Sakura could only imagine how hard it had to be, to shoulder this position now while carrying her pain, her guilt. Could only imagine the kind of regrets they would have faced themselves, Sasuke and she, had they pushed this far their desperation to keep Naruto by their side.

“I thought she didn’t get along with her sister,” she said, to keep the conversation going.

“It’s complicated,” Kiba conceded. “As long as Hinata stands, Hanabi will stand by her side. She won’t let her falter.”

Both a support and a pressure point then. Sakura recalled the girl being pretty harsh, with everyone. Both were always a bit feral if Sakura was honest. Not at all in Naruto's way, but as something unfathomable, removed from their world. She didn’t think she ever had a normal conversation with the Hyuuga girl. Didn’t know if she was even capable of it.

“What about their mother?”

It was absurd, how little she knew about her.

“You don’t know? Hinata’s mother died giving birth to her.”

Sakura raised a questioning eyebrow at Ino, not in the mood for her dramatic pauses.

“Hanabi’s mother is Hyuuga Hiashi’s second wife. The one he was supposed to marry from the start actually, from the will of the clan, but he married Hinata’s mother instead. It was quite the scandal back then.”

She said that like she was actually there. How could she even know that? Sakura doubted the gossip scandals were consigned in the village’s archives.

Oh, well, maybe there were.

“Where’s Hiashi now?

“Still at the compound,” Ino said. “Still a jounin. They don't cross paths if they can help it."

“My mother’s been visiting him, but she won’t tell me much,” Kiba added. “Lee says there’s been some… progress happening, recently? Nothing out there, but considering…”

Considering where they were coming from, she supposed Hinata and her father so much as greeting each other in passing was huge enough to make it to the newspaper.

“Lee?”

“They’ve grown close. With Tenten too. They took Neji’s departure pretty hard so.”

That’s all they’d been doing it seemed, getting closer to each other, getting to know each other better. She didn’t regret leaving, but she did wish she’d been part of it. She felt like she was lagging behind now, like she had much ground to cover before she reached them again.

She would need to visit Lee in the upcoming days.

“I guess my family’s alright then,” she said after a pause, trying for some levity. Ino elbowed her lightly.

“I always told you being a clan kid sucked.”

Sakura smiled and said nothing. It was an old argument that wasn’t worth revisiting – they couldn’t understand each other on that matter, they couldn’t help but envy the other and be blind to their struggle. Ino often complained about her family as a kid, about the responsibilities and expectations being the daughter of the Yamanaka clan leader put on her shoulders, and always told Sakura she was oh so lucky not to have to deal with any of it.

Except Sakura found those to be very bearable struggles, compared to her own.

Kids like her were nobodies at school, and in the village too. Sidelined by the teacher, ignored by the adults – having no expectations whatsoever placed on you was as bad as having too much in her opinion. Out of all the kids who dropped out of the Academy, most of them were from outside the clans, a lot were civilian children. Of course it was because clan kids weren’t allowed to change path anyway, but it was also because those kids ended up wondering why they even bothered. It was harder for them to make ranks.

From their year, Sakura was the only one, with Naruto.

In Gai’s team, there was Hyuuga Neji, and then there were the two others. Lee was an orphan, Tenten was raised by her civilian grandmother because her parents were traveling merchants, rarely seen in the village.

Who cared about those?

The death rate was also higher for them non-clan kids, something her parents had always dangled over her head, albeit not in so many words because it wasn't supposed to be a thing. During one memorable argument, her mother had screamed at her that she would just become “cannon fodder” too. Both her brothers had died in the war.

It was an argument Sakura had never made to Ino though. It was too heavy for their petty argument. Quite a mood-killer to talk about who was and wasn’t expendable among them.

“I have to go back to the hospital,” Sasuke announced, deeming the moment opportune now that the conversation had died down, as he had been impatiently tapping his fingers on the table for the past few minutes.

“I’m going too, I have to help my mother at the kennel,” Kiba added with an exaggerated eye-roll, not much enthused by the idea.

“I’m also due back,” Ino said, laying a couple of coins on the table. Sakura had always been the poorest of them all, but now that they all had jobs and several chunin-level missions under their belt while she had spent two years on the road, she felt like a toddler being taken out by her babysitting cousins.

An impression reinforced by the fact that she was the only one with nothing to do with her time.

She left the café too and set out to wander the streets of Konoha. She had promised her parents she would come home early so that they could spend some time together, and she had some errands to run for the house, as her mother had inferred not too subtly that Sakura was the only one who had nothing better to do and that she would have to contribute something to the household. For now though, she let her feet carry her around the village, subconsciously jumping from one familiar place to another – the Academy, the playground, the Yamanaka flower shop, where she popped in to find Sai handling the counter and came out with two plants and a small spray bottle she had strictly no use for.

He told her he worked there full time now. He didn’t volunteer much more information and didn’t ask for any in turn. It was quite refreshing really.

She was still wandering, reluctant to go home and face her mother’s nagging, when she ran into Shikamaru and… She needed a second to place the girl walking by his side.

“Yo! Ino told me you were back. Multiple times, and with great volume.”

“It’s good to see you too, Shikamaru,” she said with a smile. He shrugged the comment off, embarrassed. He didn’t get any better at genuine kind words then. They hadn’t crossed paths yet, dinner plans postponed because Choji was out of the village, on a mission with his father, and Shikamaru “absolutely needed him” in the kitchen, according to Ino’s exasperated retelling.

“And it’s… Temari, isn’t it?”

“Huh, yes. I’m sorry, I don’t recall your name.”

The girl from Suna looked sincerely embarrassed, so Sakura didn’t take it personally. It wasn’t like she remembered every last participant of the chunin exam either. But these siblings from Suna had made quite a strong impression on her.

“It’s Sakura.”

“Oh, right.”

There was an awkward pause where they looked at each other in turn. Shikamaru should have been the one to take it from there, being the only one to know them both, but it soon became apparent that they couldn’t count on his atrophied social skills to break the tension. Temari sighed loudly.

“We were going to the tea shop, our work is done for the day. Would you like to join us?”

Once again despite the girl’s harsh features and stubborn face, the offer sounded sincere. She didn’t look like the type to bow and scrape if she could help it.

“Sure.”

They soon found themselves in one of Konoha’s numerous teashops, though this one was of a higher standard than Sakura was used to. Shikamaru and she stared blankly at the vast selection until Temari, exasperated, ordered for them. She swatted Shikamaru’s hand away mercilessly when he made to pour himself a cup, hissing that is wasn’t done yet. It seemed best to listen to her.

“So… what are you doing here?” Sakura asked the girl after more stiff silence, hoping she didn’t sound too inquisitive.

“Tagging along on a diplomatic mission.”

“Ah, good.”

Temari poured the tea very seriously, which made this pause a little less awkward.

A little.

“And you’re…working diplomacy too, Shikamaru?”

Temari barked out a short laugh at that. He glared at them both.

“Not by choice,” he mumbled, crossing his arms.

“We’re trying to… exchange methods and processes. On education, training… There are ongoing discussions about exchange programs and a focus on cultural interactions between our villages."

“And we’re the kid committee, basically,” Shikamaru concluded.

He hid his face in his cup when the girl cast him a murderous glare. She seemed way more invested in this than he was. Unsurprising, really.

“Tea’s good,” Sakura said after a while, for lack of anything better.

“It’s from Suna. This place is the only one I found that sells it.”

Homesick then, even if she didn’t dwell on it. Sakura could relate.

“I was in Suna a few months back, but we didn’t try much of anything…”

It was good to see there was diplomacy happening after all, seeing how coldly they’d been received then. Jiraiya had chosen not to linger, reasonable for once. A shame – she wished she had had more time to get acquainted with their weird weaponry.

“Oh, right, you’re Jiraiya’s student. I was on a mission to Taki then, but I heard about your visit.”

There was no saying if she had heard good things or not. Sakura wisely didn’t ask.

They managed to talk a bit after that. Shikamaru seemed glad to leave them to it, staring out the window with vacant eyes while they drew up comparisons between Konoha and Suna. In a way it was nice to talk to someone who had no clue about Sakura and the people in her life. They seldom talked about themselves – a nice change of pace after retelling the events of her trip several times to different people in the past few days.

She was just about to gather enough courage to ask the other girl if she could have a look at her battle fan when someone entered the shop. Not the first customer since they’d been sitting here, and Sakura only looked up at the bell’s sound, but she stared this time, when she had just ignored it before.

It was Uchiha Itachi.

He didn’t see her at first, walking up to the counter to buy a frankly ridiculous amount of tea boxes. Who needed so much tea at once? The girl behind the counter chatted him up with naked enthusiasm, even though he barely responded.

He spotted her when he turned to leave.

“Hi,” she said lamely, because she sort of knew him and it would be rude not to say anything, but also she wasn’t quite sure he actually knew her name. Somehow in her mind he didn’t know anybody’s name save from the six people of his clan he hung out with.

Case in point – the corners of his lips barely raised in an attempted smile that looked more like a nervous tick, before he simply… left.

“What’s his problem,” Temari said, frowning. Sakura shrugged, nonplussed. She’d seen weirder. From him.

“He never went back to active duty right?” she pondered aloud. He was a jounin and a former Anbu, the first son of the Uchiha clan leader, and yet…

They both turned to Shikamaru. He was dozing off. Temari kicked him in the shin.

“Ah, what? No. He’s been out of the roster for a while.”

Sakura tried not to think back of all the times Ino and she had bitched about everyone they could think of while Shikamaru was napping by their side in the flower field. Was he pretending, or could that stupid brain of his actually register conversations when he was asleep? Either would be in character. That bastard.

“Why?”

She didn’t know why she dwelled on it now – it was a question they had asked themselves several times before, to no avail. It fed the gossip mill, but even Sasuke didn’t know why his brother had turned away from active duty, and most importantly, why he had been allowed to. Shinobi who wanted out weren’t uncommon, but that didn’t mean their wish was granted.

Shikamaru stared at her, pondering. She resisted the urge to squirm.

“Did Sasuke tell you about why he left?”

“No, not yet.”

“Ah. I guess it’s not my place to tell then.”

It was stupid to feel bad over this, over the fact that everyone seemed to know except her. Once again, they were there when it happened, they had seen him through it. It made sense he didn’t wish to revisit it just so that she would be in the known, especially if it had been as bad as they were all implying.

Screw all that. She still felt bad.

“It’s not what you think,” he said, as if he could hear her frustration in her silence. He glanced at Temari but she was absorbing herself in the teashop catalogue. Whether out of boredom or courtesy, it gave them a faint sense of privacy and it was appreciated.

“It’s not that it’s too painful to talk about it or something like that. It’s just that he’d rather you didn’t know.”

That wasn’t any better.

“I think I’m making it worse. But don’t take it personally. If he could, he would have kept it from us too.”

“Why?”

“It’s… unflattering. For the people involved.”

Shame?

She had a hard time believing Sasuke could be wary of her judgment.

“He had a rough time, after all this. Ah, you can ask him. Maybe he’ll even tell you the full story,” Shikamaru concluded with a helpless shrug, aware that he should probably have kept his mouth shut.

Temari slammed the catalogue on the table with way more force than necessary, declaring loudly that she wanted to buy some more tea to take back home. They went along with the unsubtle change of topic.

“Can you recommend me some?” Sakura asked in an attempt to move on from that whole issue. The girl looked pleasantly surprised and took the matter way more seriously than Sakura had expected.

She seemed to think tea was very serious business, and Sakura left with more than she could possibly need. She had a bag full of tea in one hand and a basket with the plants and the spray bottle in the other – she was starting to see a pattern.

Ah, at least her mother would be pleased.

.

They’d both taken off their shoes to soak their feet in the river. Sakura and Sasuke sat on the pier near the Uchiha district. Sharing a box of takoyaki, enjoying the sun – it would have felt like old times, if not for the one missing by their side.

Sasuke had said he wanted to talk to her – it wasn’t hard to guess about what. She wondered if Shikamaru had relayed her curiosity to him. It was a bit unnerving to know they lived together, that they shared an amount of time and proximity she couldn’t hope to match.

“I don’t know if you remember it but… The Uchiha’s reputation wasn’t so good, when we were kids.”

She shrugged – she couldn’t say she knew. Back then there wasn’t much distinction between the clans in her eyes – she just knew they were all above her and her family. Sasuke dismissed it.

“It goes back to the creation of the village. Anyway, the point is, there was a lot of discontentment among us at the time. I never knew about any of that, just that when I was a kid we tended to keep to ourselves and didn’t get out of the district much. I remember there was even the question of whether or not to send us to the Academy at some point.”

“Really?”

“Hm. It was bad. Politically speaking. The clan felt sidelined and ostracized – it had been going on for years.”

Being so removed from the inner workings of the village, it made sense she would have been unaware of it. But by the time they had started the Academy, she couldn’t recall anything reflecting this.

“What changed then?”

“There was… a shift in perspective. But…”

She tried not to get lost in speculation as she wondered what this had to do with the strain in his relationship with his dad. This was more than eight years ago.

“Before that… and it was completely by chance, that it took a different turn, but… The clan leadership had come up with a… solution. To that problem.”

“Which was?”

“Taking over.”

She munched pensively on a takoyaki.

“Taking over what?”

“The village.”

The food went down the wrong way – she coughed, eyes watering as she forced the piece out. He tapped on her back with an apologetic look.

“Are you serious?”

“I found out by chance – I’ve been spending a lot of time in the Archives for Tsunade-Sama. There was a record… I confronted my dad about it. I was so… so _angry_ , that they truly intended to go through with it, to take up arms right here in the middle of the village, to prompt a civil war just because… Because we didn’t get the respect we deserved, because we weren’t as powerful as we used to be. We got into an argument. It was pretty ugly. We haven’t really spoken since.”

To rule-abiding, righteous Sasuke, it was a capital offense to put selfish interests above the common good. He had carried his outrage around Wave Country the whole time they were there, confused as to why they couldn’t just _help_. He didn’t need the money they made from the missions, so it was even harder a pill to swallow. He would always choose to prevent a fight, if he could, but would always fight to right a wrong too.

“What did he say?”

“He talked about the clan. How I couldn’t understand what it was to be its leader – he also had to deal with the fact that neither me nor Itachi will succeed him… And I asked him how terrible a leader you had to be, to think the best thing to do for us was to overthrow the Hokage and put us in his place. It wasn’t a… very productive discussion.”

Sasuke hadn’t gotten any better at ill-fitted euphemism. The hurt was obvious in his voice – she could only imagine the kind of words they might have thrown at each other.

“Your mother?”

“In the end, she’s on his side, whether she approves or not.”

“And your brother?”

A different kind of pain crossed his face this time. She could tell he wasn’t being entirely forthcoming, and she couldn’t just let it slide – she had a feeling they wouldn’t discuss it again. If she didn’t get the truth now, he would keep it to himself.

“What aren’t you telling me, Sasuke?”

He rested his elbows on his knees to stare into the water. In the hospital he wore clips to keep his bangs out of his face, but they were free to fall and hide his face now. His hitai-ate was tied around his waist, holding his haori closed. It suited him, made him look older, kind of dignified. He looked more solemn than ever like this.

“I know it must be hard to recount. But I wasn’t there, I can’t just guess…”

“That’s not it. I didn’t… I didn’t tell anyone about it. No one knows.”

She let that sink in.

“Do you want to tell me?” she asked quietly, almost shy, not wanting him to shut off.

“I just… I couldn’t tell the others. It’s too… much.”

He clicked his tongue, displeased with his choice of words.

“What, you think they couldn’t handle it?” she joked. He didn’t catch her tone and was serious when he answered.

“I don’t know. I don’t know them like I know you.”

She gasped in surprise, caught off guard by the sudden admission. He blushed a little, as he did when he realized his words had been heard, couldn’t be caught back.

“Well. You know what I mean.”

“Do I?”

“Come on, don’t make me say it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Sasuke had two standard getaways when he was being teased – get angry and shut it off, or out-tease his opponent. Unfortunately for her, she was often a victim of the second option. She wasn’t as immune to him as Ino was, maybe because they were much closer.

He sat up to stare at her, straight in the eyes.

“You’re my best friend, Sakura.”

Damn. She _hated_ it when he did that. What could she do except blush to the root of her hair and bite her lips to temper her too wide smile? That bastard!

“I hate you,” she mumbled. She wasn’t ready to claim defeat though. “What about Naruto then?”

She didn’t think the name would slip so easily on her tongue. He looked stricken for a moment and she feared she had killed whatever mood they had managed to set up, but he decided to play along, to leave the pain at the door, for once.

“It’s… different.”

And it was, for both of them. Despite everything Naruto was still the one who had stepped in that day, who had seen her getting hurt and thought he ought to do something about it when he had no reason to. Who had pulled her up from the ground, and she’d looked up ever since – even though he was shorter than her.

And to Sasuke… he was the first, the first connection he’d made all on his own, without the intercession of his brother or his family name, without his clan factoring in in any way. And others had followed, but Naruto outshone them all.

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten about my questions,” she said, to pull them out of the spiral, banish the melancholia. Naruto wouldn’t appreciate them letting him cause them pain when he wasn’t even here.

In the face of his reluctance, she tried to find an angle to pry at, wondering what was missing from his story, that would make it a different matter.

“What happened that changed their mind? Your father, the others. Why didn’t they go through with it?”

He frowned, tensing up – it was the right guess.

“The… the Hokage knew. At the time, he knew what they were planning.”

“So they… talked it out?” she asked without much conviction. He wouldn’t look so anguished if they had, so torn.

“There was this whole affair. A man named Danzo, a higher-up, friend of the Sandaime. He was in charge of some secret operations, he had a lot of power. He was arrested around that time.”

“That… does ring a bell. My parents were very shocked. Wasn’t there a teacher who died?”

“Hm.”

“So? What about him?”

“This man, he had a solution. About the Uchiha planning an uprising. Do you get it, it was just luck, it was… That teacher died and he was arrested and they only find out afterward. They didn't stop him, we just got lucky."

“What didn’t they stop? What did he plan to do? Sasuke…”

“It’s easy, no? If a group of people is causing trouble there’s one very easy way to deal with it.”

She was struck speechless, staring at his hardened face, his shining eyes. He was griping at his hands in a hold that looked painful. He couldn’t meet her eyes.

“I couldn’t tell the others. I couldn’t. It was too much.”

How was this possible? Things didn’t work that way. They couldn’t just… She could see why he would keep it to himself. To process it on his own first, but then how? How to break such a story, to all of them and their name, so ingrained in their identity?

“Shikamaru said… you had a rough time. After. He said you might just tell me the whole story…”

“I think he suspects. He’s too smart. I think he tried to get his dad to talk about it, and he got mad when he wouldn’t. They all… Their parents knew, so maybe… But we don’t talk about it. It’s too much,” he said again, for lack of a better way to phrase it.

“How did you… move past it?”

He must have been so lost, adrift, if he couldn’t even turn to his family for support. She had never regretted being away as much as she did at this moment. She wished she’d been here, to see him through it.

“For a while I… I didn’t know what to do anymore. I mean, if it could get to this point… I didn’t know who to turn to. But I was pretty advanced in my training already.”

“Tsunade-sama?”

He nodded, and some tension let out in his body, easing just a little.

“She thought I was right to be angry, and distraught, and to feel betrayed. She didn’t try to make excuses, or to tell me that I just didn’t get it. She was… angry too. She told me not to give up. That it was up to us to take a different path.”

That’s why he was so defensive of her then, and devoted too. She took him seriously, a novelty for him – for all of them really.

“So… your brother?”

He shook his head.

“I didn’t ask. I know he was involved, somehow. He was in Anbu at the time. He… took orders from that man. Shisui too. They left after that. I don’t… I didn’t ask.”

Someone had reported the clan’s plans to the higher ups, someone had been their eyes. For Itachi and Shisui to leave the Anbu altogether… But the clan hadn’t punished them. What then?

“Itachi was so shaken, I remember it clearly, because it was shocking, to see him that way. He was lost for a long time after that, aimless. He’s doing better now.”

She didn’t think she would ever see Sasuke talk about his brother this way.

Like he was the older one.

“Thank you. For telling me.”

“It’s not that I… I never planned to hide it from you. But…”

She thought back on what Shikamaru had said. He was terribly gauche with this sort of things, but he had good insight into Sasuke’s mind.

“I won’t… think any less of your family. And you. We move forward. Don’t we?”

He looked relieved. He nodded, determined.

“Always.”

.

“You look tired.”

“That’s because I am.”

Jiraiya raised a pointed eyebrow and Tsunade relented, threw her pen on her desk and raised her head from the letter she had been getting a headache over for the past hour. Trying to politely tell the Raikage that his concerns were appreciated but that no, Konoha didn’t need Kumo’s help to ensure their own security despite the disappearance of their jinchuuriki wasn’t her idea of an afternoon well spent. How dare that asshole, when he was short a Tailed Beast too? Did he believe the news not to have traveled as fast as Naruto and Gaara’s departure had, once the two villages had confronted each other about it? Tsunade needed to think carefully about what their strategy would be for the next chunin exam, set to happen in Kumo. A was getting way too enterprising for her taste – she was wary of his ambitions and knew him to be yet another party to be on the missing jinchuuriki’s tail. With so many people looking for them, it was astonishing no one had managed to find them yet.

“Nana.”

She startled out of her thoughts when her friend yanked her chair away from her desk, almost leaving her behind to fall on the floor.

“What the hell!”

“If you won’t take a break, I’ll make you.”

She glared up at him and his shit-eating grin, but there was real concern under his mischief. With a long sigh, she got up from her chair, stretching her numb limbs before taking the five steps needed to sprawl on her beloved couch. He came to sit too, lifting her legs to settle under before laying them back on his laps. She let out a long exhale when he started to massage her calves.

“You were always good at this,” she commented, eyes closed against the glaring light. He hummed but didn’t answer. She welcomed the silence and the attention, just for a moment.

She _was_ tired. Terribly so, and it was a well-established fact by now, though she had to admit the clan leaders and senior shinobi had been pulling their weight more and more lately. Shizune was as efficient as ever, if not more.

And, well. She had her adorable student too.

“I still can’t believe you took an Uchiha as your apprentice,” he commented, wisely stirring the discussion away from current affairs.

“That’s not why I accepted.”

“Could have been why you’d refused though. What made you change your mind?”

“Are you still mad I stole him from under your nose?”

He didn’t rise to the bait.

“No. Sakura turned out just fine, even if she’s a horrible brat.”

The girl had merits to have followed Jiraiya around for two full years and not buried him in a ditch. He was obviously fond of her.

“Look at us. To think we used to swear up and down we’d never get saddled with troubling kids.”

It was a recurring joke between them when they were younger. Tsunade didn’t like kids and kids didn’t like Jiraiya – seeing how much white hair they gave their own teachers, they figured it wasn't worth the hassle.

There was only ever Orochimaru to be taken with the idea of passing on his knowledge, leave his mark on the next generation.

“I agreed because his father didn’t approve,” she confessed eventually.

“Ha, really?”

“It’s stupid, isn’t it? I can’t believe I’m still not over my own issues with my heritage… But those Uchiha, they were always so prideful, so attached to their name. It made me curious, I guess. But more importantly…”

She sat up, feeling it wouldn’t do to have this conversation sitting down. Jiraiya gestured at her to turn around. She did, taking off her haori so that he could massage her shoulders and back.

“You know what happened, or well, didn’t. With the Uchiha.”

“Ah, yeah. That.”

“They’re not so discontented anymore but… If Sasuke and Itachi, and anyone else for that matter, don’t feel like putting their clan above all else after all, I’m not about to discourage that.”

“Does he know about all this? The boy.”

Tsunade grimaced at the memory.

“He found out a few months back. Most of it anyway.”

“Must have been unpleasant.”

Sasuke and Fugaku were still not on speaking terms. Sasuke had been shaken to his core and his drive had wavered for a while as he doubted everything he had ever believed in. She wouldn’t have it though. She wouldn’t let him lose hope, give up, like she had.

“The kids have a lot of fight in them.”

“And you plan on using that.”

“I won’t make the same mistake our teacher did. I’m okay with doing this for ten more years, twenty, if I can be sure of what will come after. It’s not… It’s not power we need, it’s no strength. They all have plenty to spare but… I want to move us past it.”

“What do you need then, Nana? You only have to ask.”

But what she needed, he couldn’t provide. No one could, not for sure. She had to build up to it herself, she had to make sure…

“We can’t have another war.”

Tsunade didn’t sleep at night. She kept replaying the latest letters, the latest news. She kept thinking about Naruto – where he was, what he was doing, with whom. Kept wondering if he knew how much rested on his shoulders even if he did nothing, how unbalanced their world was becoming now that he, and others like him, were deciding not to weigh in anymore.

“You know, Hyuuga Hiashi, he had this kind of fight in him too. He believed he could change the world, when he was younger.”

“I heard about what happened.”

That mess was best not reflected upon. It was a huge liability to have the Byakugan roaming around unprotected, but if no one could find the kid, then no one could find him, and she washed her hands of it for now.

“It’s Inuzuka Tsume who told me,” she went on. “They wanted things to change, they wanted to have it different than their parents had. But the Third Shinobi War came, and it sucked everything out of them. They turned back inward, retreated, buried their heart behind thicker walls because the loss was too great and too senseless. And they had to give everything they had to the village then, to how things were, because it had to be worth it, if they sacrificed so much for it.”

She pressed her fingers into her eyes to push back traitorous tears. All those lives, all those dreams, all this energy and hope, wasted. And for what? What had they gained, what was the point?

“We have to spare them this.”

They had to finally raise a generation that wouldn’t go to war. That could focus on something else, on growing, on taking their world forward.

“Is there any unrest? Because of the jinchuuriki’s disappearance?”

“It’s hard to tell. No one dares move for now, because we don’t know where they are. Who’s to say they’re not being hoarded by one of the villages? Or dead already?”

“Come on. They’re not.”

She wanted to believe it too, but she couldn’t be sure, and neither could the other Kage.

“There’s something else I needed to talk to you about. Two months ago, we had an enemy intrusion. Not an attack, no one was hurt or killed.”

“What did they do then?”

“They dug up some graves. In the cemetery.”

Jiraiya’s hands stilled on her shoulders for a brief moment, before he resumed his work.

“Do you have a culprit?”

“Yakushi Kabuto, according to the investigation. We couldn’t catch him but- there’s little doubt. He was a genin here. And he was Orochimaru’s spy.”

She let the information sink in, let Jiraiya drew his own conclusions. Orochimaru never told them much about his works and they never took much interest either, but he still liked to ramble and they indulged him, as friends did.

Among the many forbidden jutsu he wanted to study, this one was particularly worrying, for everyone involved. And if he dared to come and collect samples within the village…

“I’ll ask around. See if other locations went through the same,” Jiraiya said, voice hard. She nodded. It was nice to have someone she didn’t need to order around.

“Hokage-sama.”

They turned to the doors. It was Yurika, from the cryptanalysis team. She bowed before walking in, handing a message to Tsunade.

It sported the Kazekage’s seal.

.

“I don’t like this.”

Naruto earned himself a strong punch on the shoulder for that comment. He rubbed at his arm, annoyed.

“What? What was that for?”

“Where were you when I was trying to talk them out of it,” Neji accused, glaring.

“I said I didn’t like it. I didn’t say they shouldn’t go.”

Neji’s frowned deepened – Naruto was convinced it was perpetually etched into his face. He was a hypocrite too. If he really wanted to convince them, he could have done so, easily enough. As if Gaara would say no to anything he asked.

They watched from the side Gaara and Karin getting ready to head out of the cave, and not, as usual, for a quick trip to a nearby town where everyone actively pretended nothing was amiss with a group of teenagers looking nothing alike the locals and coming in and out of nowhere on a regular basis.

“I don’t like this,” Naruto repeated louder to catch their attention. Gaara didn’t react but Karin rolled her eyes, with an added sigh for good measure.

“We heard you the first ten times. We’re going, so shut up.”

She flipped her long coat, just for the dramatics. Naruto stuck his tongue at her.

“Thank you,” Gaara said, voice low and barely audible, flat but heartfelt nonetheless. Karin waved a hand around, dismissive.

“Don’t mention it. Ready?”

Naruto was truly worried, despite their attempts at levity. Neji was sulking, so it was up to him to see their friends off – the rest were out collecting information and trying to find out what was being said about them in the world.

“You’ll be careful right?” Naruto asked, coming close enough to wrap a hand around Karin’s wrist, willing her to hear his concern. He saw her swallowing another jab – she knew to read the mood, on occasions.

“Of course we will. Everything will be fine. We’ll be back soon.”

Gaara squeezed his shoulder, eyes boring into his with his usual intensity. Naruto didn’t like them being apart, but it would have been a rare show of stupidity for them to both go – Karin’s words.

After all, they were heading to Suna.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to apologize to Hyuuga Hinata and Hyuuga Neji. Really, my bad.
> 
> Do you hear the plot coming? Next chapter we're gonna travel a bit! I hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think, bye.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a problem in Suna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I want to thank you all once more for your comments and support, you're spoiling me and I want more x)  
> So here we go again. We're somehow still kinda sorta trying to follow canon events... It makes sense, you'll see. Fair warning, I f-cked around a bit with the timeline regarding Suna's things (spoilers lol) because the timeline was f-cked anyway. I do what I want.
> 
> A big thanks to dancibayo who looked over this again. Hope you'll enjoy!

Sakura was out for yet another errand, stretching it as long as she could. She was so bored she was thinking about going to find Jiraiya for some training, that’s how desperate she was for something to do. She had passed the written exam for the chunin promotion the day before – a formality, and she would have regretted studying so much for something so basic if it hadn't occupied large portions of her time and if she didn't… enjoy studying. She hoped that once that was dealt with she could take up missions once more.

Letting her feet carry her as she was prone to do these days – she had discovered streets and corners she never even knew were there – she eventually caught sight of Shisui’s house.

Her parents didn’t like that she was friends with Naruto, so taking him to her house was always out of the question. In the same vein the Uchiha district was off-limit, for if Sasuke’s mother was always warm to their friend, the same couldn't be said for his father or the rest of his clan. Wherever they went in the village they would be followed by suspicious glares and unsubtle whispers, and there were just so many times they could eat at Ichiraku in a week.

All in all, they had spent a lot of time at Shisui’s place, in the three years Naruto had lived there.

Shisui always had a smile and some snacks in store, he always seemed happy to see them. They piled up into Naruto's room to read comic books and draw experimental explosive tags. Naruto was always tense and hostile as soon as he was out in the world – as the world was always hostile to him. Here was the only place they got to see this version of him, the one that didn’t have to bear the resentment of an entire village on his shoulders.

The one she missed the most.

“Sakura? Is that you?”

Lost in thought, she hadn’t heard Shisui approach. He was holding some grocery bags and he was smiling, warm and a little sad, still the same.

“Do you want to come in? I’ll make some tea.”

She followed him inside.

The entrance and the little kitchen were the same. She sat at the table and watched him putter around with practiced ease, so that he could soon put a steaming cup of tea and some biscuits in front of her.

He had always acted like an older brother to all of them. It seemed to come naturally to him, she could only imagine how good a teacher he made for the children at the Academy, and how great an instructor he would make to a future genin team.

Sometimes she wondered if Naruto would have left even sooner, had it not been for him.

“How are you, Sakura?”

It came naturally, to tell him the truth.

“It’s weird to be back. So much has changed, and I wasn’t there for any of it. I’ve missed everyone but… it was nice out there. I don’t know.”

“It’s normal to feel off-balance now. It will pass.”

“I guess. It’s just… they all seem to have found their place. They know what’s they’re supposed to do.”

Most of her friends had had their goals in mind for quite some time, since they were kids even. But what about her? She didn’t know where to go from there.

“That also means they’re set in their path now. You still have time to choose. It’s not a bad thing.”

It was something else she feared. Getting stuck. She knew she would soon want to travel again – she had come to love their wandering, going from town to town, meeting so many new people with lives so different from hers. But she didn’t want to be like Jiraiya, unattached and lonely. She wanted something to return to, wanted to know there was a place waiting for her at home. So that she would never be lost.

They were interrupted by the front door opening, and in came another man, about Shisui’s age, dark hair, white eyes, handsome but gloomy face…

It was Hyuuga Tokuma.

She wasn’t too proud of the way she stared. She had met him a handful of times before, as he often came by Shisui’s place back then, but she was seeing him in a whole different light now.

She couldn’t help but feel he had to think of the place the same way she did – sanctuary, away from prying eyes, from steadfast judgments. A lot of Shisui’s friends seemed to gravitate around the house. Maybe it was the reason.

“Tokuma. You remember Sakura, right?”

“Yes. Hello.”

“Ah, hi!”

She winced, cursing her terrible lack of manners.

“I’ll be out back,” the man said before disappearing down the corridor. She deflated, mortified.

“I take it that you heard about… that whole thing,” Shisui said with an indulgent chuckle. Her face was in flame but she resisted the urge to hide in her hands.

“Sorry. The others told me the other day and…”

“Ah, don’t worry about it. I guess it’s quite a shock.”

“I… was wondering why Sasuke didn’t come to live here.”

“I’m not sure he would have wanted to. Use that room, I mean, even if it had been free. But yeah, I… I was the one to convince Tokuma. To give it a try, so that he could keep working at the Academy with me. I didn’t think… Well, neither of us expected it do go down that way. He didn’t want to stay at the compound after everything. And I had a spare room, you know? It was the least I could do for him.”

Life went on, she supposed. She wanted to be crossed at him for giving Naruto’s room to somebody else, but what else was he supposed to do? Leave it sealed forever?

“I didn’t touch it for a while. In case… But well.”

In case Naruto was coming back. But he wasn’t, wasn’t he?

“I don’t think he blames you,” she said, to stir them away from that topic. “Tokuma, I mean.”

“In the end, it was all for the best, probably. But it’s… It’s frustrating, you know. If it had to end that way, surely we could have avoided a lot of suffering in the process.”

She wondered what they were talking about exactly. She supposed it went for everything. If they knew the outcome from the start, surely they would do things differently. Spare themselves some heartache. But who was to say it wasn't their struggle and pain that brought about those endings? 

Nothing was ever set in stone.

She couldn’t help thinking about what Sasuke had confessed to her, how the Uchiha could have risen to power or be crushed mercilessly, how it had been avoided by chance, how it took so little, to change fate.

She was racking her brain to find something to say, that would alleviate the heavy mood they had unwittingly brought down on themselves. In the end they were saved by…

Meowing?

Shisui got up hastily to open the kitchen’s window, where a small, lithe cat, black as the night or the Uchiha’s hair, was meowing with great insistence.

“It’s Sasuke’s cat,” Shisui explained.

He took a swipe of its claws for that remark. She didn’t think it was possible for a cat to look so haughty.

“Ouch, I know, I know, you’re not _his_ cat. What is it Jiji?”

The cat meowed in her direction.

“Follow him. Sasuke probably sent him after you. Ouch, I know, I know, you came because you wanted to! Stop that!”

She jumped to her feet. He sent her off with a nod, still massaging his clawed up hand, and she dashed after the cat through the Konoha streets.

She thought he would lead her to the hospital, but she soon recognized the way to the Hokage Tower. She climbed the stairs in rush, sparing a quick thought to the inherent impracticality of the Hokage office being so high up.

She arrived out of breath and sweaty and she swore the cat was mocking her. He climbed Sasuke’s clothes to perch on his shoulder. The boy gave him an absent pat, looking preoccupied but relieved to see her.

She bowed to the Godaime and her assistant, by her side as always. Kakashi was here too, along with Shikamaru, and Temari. It was her face that set the alarm, that made worry spike in Sakura’s guts.

“We received words from Suna,” Tsunade began immediately, waving a piece of paper for emphasis.

“My brother was poisoned,” Temari cut in with a rush. Sakura held back at the last moment a comment the likes of “isn’t your brother gone?”. She remembered the other one. “He was attacked outside the village, that’s all it says,” Temari said, shaken but fighting to keep it together. “The poison is unknown but they… it says it’s slow going. He should have five days, at most, before…”

“They asked for our help,” the Hokage went on. “Kakashi, your team will stay under Kurenai’s supervision for now, I want you to take these two and go to Suna. Sasuke, I’ve taught you enough to send you. Ask Marco to give you some resources that could help you with the poison. Sakura, your written test was flawless – I’m told it was to be expected, coming from you. We’ll indulge in a bit of protocol later, but for now I’m granting you the rank of chunin informally. You are to escort Temari back to her village and assist them in any way you can."

It was three days to go to Suna. There was no time to waste.

.

Temari didn’t expect anything from the Hokage. She was fully prepared to leave Konoha on her own, with a pack of medicines and good luck wishes.

But maybe she should have known. She had seen how things went in their village these days, how the Godaime Hokage handled her duties.

Temari couldn’t deny being inspired.

The woman had taken the news as seriously as if it had been from her own people. “We are allies,” she had simply said at Temari’s shocked expression, and of course Temari couldn’t tell her that had the situation been reversed, her father surely wouldn’t have interpreted this word the same way. She didn’t doubt the woman knew anyway, and it made it even more puzzling – she had to know alliances were fleeting things between the villages, short-lived and almost inconsequential. Yet she was determined to honor it anyway.

“He made it back on his own but collapsed at the doors of Suna, so it’s not a paralytic at least,” the Uchiha rambled, citing the message from memory. “Five days as a first estimation, but there’s a good chance they’ll manage to slow it down.”

It would take them almost three days to make it to Suna, and so much could happen in that time…

Was she going to find her brother dead upon returning home? She couldn’t bear the thought.

“If it’s a slow process, it can be controlled in some way, even if they don’t find a cure, he just has to hold on until we arrive.”

“Because you’ll find it, _you_?” she called out, unable to keep the venom from her tone. He didn’t pick up on it though. Simply answered, full of conviction.

“Yes.”

Somehow it was a little reassuring.

Hatake Kakashi wasn’t just anyone. Uchiha Sasuke was the Hokage’s head disciple, and Haruno Sakura’s master was the Sanin Jiraiya himself. Konoha could have spared any number of expendable low-ranking shinobi to send to Suna’s aid, but it was with those three Temari was traveling the way back now.

She would have taken the time to appreciate this development, had she not been consumed with worry for her brother.

Kankuro and she had grown a lot closer in the past few years, as she fought her way up Suna’s hierarchy with his support. He accused her of working too hard to distract herself, and she said nothing because he was probably right. If she didn’t work her ass off to the brink of exhaustion, she was left to think, and if she was left to think, she would think of Gaara.

And there were only so many nights she was willing to lose to tears and regrets.

In retrospect, she didn’t understand how she could have been so blind-sided by Gaara’s escape. As if it was surprising in any way. Their father had been enraged by Gaara’s closeness with the jinchuuriki of Konoha, and he had restricted his movements more than ever upon their return to Suna after the chunin exam, under the guise of protecting him from a group seemingly after him. Temari had thought it would make her brother snap, but there didn’t seem to be anything left in him of the innate violence that had inhabited him all his life. Whatever the Nine-Tails host had done to him, the change was hysterical – Gaara simply… didn’t have any of that rage left in him.

Maybe that was why she hadn’t seen it coming. She had thought, in her supreme naivety, that it meant he would be returned to them, that they could finally try to build something between them.

The worst thing was to know he had not hesitated for one damn second. At first, they had thought he had been kidnapped, with terrifying efficiency, for who could subdue Gaara like this, in a matter of minutes, in the very heart of the village without alerting anyone?

Of course it wasn’t what happened. Not that they knew for sure, but they wasted so much time wondering how someone could snatch Gaara like this while the most likely scenario was far simpler. It was that Naruto kid, who made it to Suna a few months after deserting his own village and snuck in undetected. Maybe if he had stayed longer, they would have been able to catch him. But he was in and out of Gaara’s room, Gaara in tow, leaving easily.

Gaara had just been waiting for him all this time. She felt so foolish now for her attempts at reaching out to him, for feeling so pleased when it seemed like he would indulge her.

Kankuro had turned to anger. He was mad at Gaara, at Naruto, at the Biju, their father, the village, the world. At her too, she was sure, but she had decided to turn all her energy into fixing everything within her reach that could be fixed in Suna, and he was on board, if only to get in the way of their father.

She couldn’t lose him too. There was no way she would be able to bear it.

They didn’t talk much during the trip. Well they didn’t talk much _to her_ – the two chunin whispered a lot between themselves during what little break they took. Sakura was just back home after a long time away and they had a lot to catch up on, and they respected her need to freak out in peace, or they just didn’t care, fortunately. She didn’t need to make any friends in Konoha, thank you very much.

She couldn’t help observing them though. Temari never had a team of her own. She was only ever paired up with her brothers, to look after them and keep them in check since no one else would. Not that anyone would have wanted her either. She was Gaara’s brother, guilty by association.

The two chunin were close to the man too, their former instructor, if she got it right. They joked and teased, they were comfortable with one another. Sakura had spoken fondly of them, the little she had talked about them in the teashop.

Temari didn’t long for a team, she didn’t long for friends. But she wished they could have had that, her brothers and her.

Three weeks in Konoha had been a bit much for her. She missed Suna already, and she felt uncomfortable in the Leaf, even if it wasn’t supposed to be enemy territory anymore. Shikamaru’s presence had made it bearable because it was funny how he was never on board with anything but went along anyway. He tried way too hard, but it wasn’t any performance for the sake of an audience – it was solely to fit his own requirements.

It was sort of endearing.

Shikamaru was probably the closest thing she had to a friend, as depressing as it sounded.

They traveled as fast as they could. At the beginning of the third day, they intercepted a Suna hawk on its way to Konoha.

It dumped a message in Temari’s waiting hands, a copy of the one making its way to the other village. It was the second message from their fastest hawk in as many days, and she dreaded to read the news it carried. The message was sealed, for her eyes only.

She read it once. Twice. She read it again.

The paper slipped from her fingers.

The jounin picked it up as she stood there, shaking, but only to give it back to her.

“I don’t know the code,” he said, apologetic. They couldn’t read it. She had to tell them.

“It was… It was the Akatsuki that ambushed my brother on his way back from a solo mission. And they… They launched an attack on Suna. Just a few hours ago.”

“What did they want? What did they do?”

“They… They fought with my father. The Kazekage. He’s…”

She cleared her throat of the panic clogging it, slowly rising.

“They don’t know. If he’ll… They don’t know.”

 _“Critical condition”_ could only be a euphemism if it concerned the leader of their village. It was now two members of her family at death’s door, and she wasn’t there. And to top it all…

“There were two assailants.”

“Just two?”

“According to this…”

There was no reason to doubt these words, but she still had a hard time wrapping her head around it.

“The one who poisoned my brother is a master puppeteer. The most famous one Suna ever knew, actually. His name is Sasori. Sasori of the Red Sand.”

She couldn’t help but believe it was on purpose. One of their own, to bring them down.

“I’ve heard of him”, Hatake Kakashi said. “He made quite a name for himself during the Third Shinobi War.”

“Why the Red Sand?” Sakura asked. Temari grimaced.

“Can’t you guess?” she shot back, harsh.

She could, judging her expression. Temari remembered the not so kind things said about him. He wasn’t twenty when he had earned the title. People found him strange, unsettling. But for them…

_“Sasori, Sasori! Can you do another puppet show? Please, please!”_

That was where Kankuro had gotten it from. Sasori had vanished from the face of the Earth eleven years ago. He had been declared dead. Kankuro had been inconsolable.

And Gaara… It was a few months before Yashamaru’s death. Sasori was the other one of the two persons who willingly spent time with the child, even if it was just to study his control over sand.

Gaara had asked for Sasori a lot, after he was gone. Then he had come back home one night with a bloody tattoo on his forehead and a crazed spark in his eyes, along with the news that their uncle was dead, after attempting to murder him.

He had stopped calling for their older cousin after that. He had stopped asking for anything really.

And here was the Red Sand resurfacing now, with the Akatsuki. It didn’t make any sense.

“There was another one. Young, but that’s all we know. An adept of explosives, apparently.”

Which made the damage to Suna impossible to determine. The message was vague on the matter. How many casualties, how many injured? How many destroyed buildings, how spread out the attack?

“We need to hurry then,” the jounin pressed, pulling her out of her trance. They resumed running, at double the speed. They ran the remaining distance in record time. Under those circumstances, it was shallow relief to see the rising shadow of Suna floating above the sand. She barreled through the gates, jumping on the first guard she could find.

“Temari-sama, you’re back! You…”

“Where’s my brother? Tell me!”

“The-The central hospital. But you have to know…”

She didn’t wait around to listen to what she “had to know”. She would know soon enough, whatever terrible news it had to be to make the guard look that way.

She dashed through the streets, trusting the Konoha tag-along would follow. She saw traces of fighting, damaged buildings, rubbles blocking the way. Few people were wandering about when the streets should have been bustling with activity, and they looked stunned, somber.

There was a hole in the side of the hospital, a few rooms open to the dry air of the desert as the external wall had been blasted out.

She scared the nurse at the front desk, who could only point her in the right direction with a weak hand gesture, and burst into one of the rooms.

Several things happened at once.

She recognized the old Chiyo and her brother in a corner of the room, no doubt here to assist with the poison. They in turn recognized something in her back – the old Chiyo jumped forward, but Temari was focused on her brother laying on an observation table in the middle of the room, shaking and sweating profusely, face contorted in pain. The Uchiha was close by. Baki was there too.

There was a commotion. Something about Hatake Kakashi killing someone – talk about some news. She ignored them.

“I’ll set to work,” the Uchiha said to no one in particular, hands glowing green already.

“Please,” she whispered, not sure who she was talking to either.

He put two hands on Kankuro’s torso. In went chakra. Out came the poison.

“Hand me that basin,” he commanded without looking away from his task. She obeyed. He dumped the poison in, repeated the process.

Baki tried to talk to her, but she couldn’t hear him. She was focused on Kankuro’s face, pale like the dead and shining with sweat. His lips were bitten raw, his brows knitted painfully.

After a few minutes though, fewer and fewer poison came out, and his body relaxed bit by bit. He exhaled, breathing again. She did too.

“He’s out of trouble,” the Uchiha declared, wiping his brow. "We need to prepare an antidote, to purge the rest, but he'll be fine."

Her knees nearly buckled under her weight and she had to seek support from the table, fighting to stay upright. The day was far from over.

“As good as the slug,” the old Chiyo commented from behind the boy. He turned, bowed respectfully.

“I am Tsunade-hime’s student. I’m here on her behalf.”

She looked at him with some measure of distaste, but he had just saved Kankuro’s life – as far as Temari was concerned, he was her new best friend.

“Where is my father? What’s the situation?”

“He’s in the operation room right now,” the old Chiyo replied with a light tone, perfectly casual. “No way to tell if he’ll pull through.”

It was Sakura who brought back a semblance of order into the room. Old Chiyo was still casting nefarious looks at Kakashi, Temari was struggling to put her thoughts in order and the Uchiha was busy examining Kankuro – it was good of the girl to step in.

She went to stand in front of Baki, sketched a quick bow

“Hello again, Sir.”

“Ah. I remember you, Haruno Sakura. You’re Jiraiya’s student.”

“We were sent to help by Konoha.”

“It’s only the three of you?”

“We were to assist with the recovery of your men. We got your second message on the way, Konoha will have received it by now. Reinforcements will come. Please, tell us what happened.”

Kankuro sat up with some difficulties on the observation table. He looked up at Temari, regrets and rage dancing in his feverish eyes. The Uchiha tried to stop him – Kankuro batted his hands away with a snarl.

“It was a trap. It was all a trap, all of it, from the start.”

Baki looked reluctant, but now wasn’t the time for petty rivalry. If they had sent for help, then they needed it, there was no point in backing off now.

“Six days ago, Kankuro was attacked by two members of the Akatsuki and mortally poisoned. One of them identified himself as Sasori of the Red Sand, the other remains unknown. They came back today.” His tone was blank, and he was avoiding Temari’s gaze. “They infiltrated the village and wreaked havoc, despite our best efforts. These people are unlike anything we’ve ever seen. The Kazekage fought them but…”

How powerful did they have to be to take her father down like this?

“Why? What did they want? Why did they come?”

“I told you. It was a trap,” Kankuro said bitterly. His body was full of tension, not out of pain anymore, but a familiar frustration and outrage.

“A-a trap? For father?”

She was flexing and unflexing her hands, longing to reach out but unable to move, rooted in place.

“For Gaara.”

She was getting dizzy from the whiplash.

“What… What does Gaara have to do with anything?”

“He came for me! It was the trap, don’t you get it?”

No she didn’t, but she managed to lay a hand on his shoulder, when she realized his eyes were shining, chest heaving with contained sobs.

“You saw him? He was here?”

Kankuro nodded once.

“It went exactly as they planned. Temari, they were waiting for me. For me, specifically. I guess they didn’t get any more luck than us at tracking him down, and they grew tired of trying. They figured… they thought it would lure him out. If I was…”

“No. No, that’s not… why would he…”

“It worked. He came.”

It was probably the most outlandish thing, the hardest to believe, out of all the things she had heard today. It made no sense, there was no way.

“He was with another girl. A medic. They spread the word on purpose, he heard about what happened. He brought her here. To me.”

Temari couldn’t be blamed for her body giving in then. She had the good sense of dropping on the observation table instead of sinking to the ground. She sat against Kankuro’s back. They leaned subtly on each other as she tried to process what he was saying.

Gaara had heard Kankuro was in grave danger, and he had come. He had brought help. That wasn’t…

No, she couldn’t wrap her head around it.

“How do you know all that?” Kakashi asked, tone deceptively light where she could swear he was in the mindset of an interrogation. “How do you know it was their plan?”

“Because they told me.”

“You knew it was them then,” the Uchiha pointed out, taking his attention away from his patient for the first time since his arrival. “You knew it was the Akatsuki from the start. Why didn’t your first message said so? More of us would have come!”

She would have doubted that a few days ago, but the Godaime Hokage had proved her goodwill, and Konoha also had a vested interest in the pursuit of the Akatsuki. Temari recognized Baki’s closed off face right away, for having seen it many times before. The one that said “I followed an order I didn’t agree with.”

“What did you do? Baki, what…”

“We can assume that Gaara knew the Akatsuki was after him,” Kakashi went on, calm but relentless. “Why would he risk coming here, out in the open for the first time in years, if he knew they were behind the attack? And why would they reveal their plan to you, knowing you could spread the information? Warn him off?”

She understood then, just as the man did, it seemed. Kankuro looked down. Ashamed, she realized with a start.

“No. No.”

“It worked out exactly as they planned,” Kankuro said again.

“They told their plan to you,” she whispered, dumbstruck. “They told you, knowing you would report it to Father. And knowing that…”

“That he would try to take advantage of it. That he would go along with the plan, right?” Kakashi said, managing to sound calm and conversational still while she was boiling up in rage. “To lure Gaara here. So he didn’t know it was the Akatsuki’s doing. He came because he didn’t know.”

The absolute fury of their father when they had discovered Gaara was missing. The countless missions they had sent out to find him, dozens of spies, hundreds of coins spent for information, but nothing had turned out. Gaara was untraceable, and they would only learn almost a year later, during the chunin exam and the whole debacle with the meddling Yamanaka girl, that the jinchuuriki of Konoha was missing too, that they had most likely eloped together. Their father had been obsessed with finding him again.

Enough to go along with the Akatsuki’s plan. Enough to let them set a trap for him within the village, using Kankuro’s imminent death, probably convinced he could retrieve Gaara himself and fight off the organization, finally bring Suna’s jinchuuriki back in line.

“Wh-What happened then? Where’s…”

“They took the fight outside of the village. We sent teams after them. It seems… It seems that they managed to subdue Gaara. We’re tracking them down.”

The taste of blood flooded Temari’s mouth – she had bitten too hard on her tongue. This was a nightmare. She had come in worrying about her brother’s health, and now that he was fine, it was the two remaining members of their family who were in mortal danger.

“I need to go after them.”

She got up, reeling on her feet for a moment before she found her balance back. Actually no, she didn’t – it was Baki holding her arm that saved her from toppling over.

“You can’t.”

“Try and fucking stop me!”

“Enough, Temari! You’re in no state to be of any use in an outside mission. Many of our forces went out already, and many more were injured in yesterday’s attack. The one who isn’t Sasori used some kind of explosives, there is a lot of damages and casualties. Your father is down. You are needed here!”

It was all she had been working for, for the past two years, as she fought tooth and nails for a place among the commandment, for a chance to be listened to. She wanted to throw it out the window right now.

Baki squeezed her arm, shaking lightly, as if to wake her up. Unconsciously, she mimicked his breathe, as she used to when she was a child, to calm herself down form rising panic. They never spoke of it, pretending it didn’t happen.

She forced her mind to clear up, to get out of its hysterical state, to come back. For the sake of her family and her village, she needed to keep it together. She couldn’t afford to wallow. She wasn’t a child anymore.

“We’re here to assist, despite these new circumstances,” Kakashi interjected smoothly, giving her the time to catch her breath and calm her mind.

“We need to go after them!” Sakura exclaimed. “If…” She seemed to remind herself then, forced her voice to take on a milder tone. “If Gaara has been taken then… Others will come too.”

“What happened to the girl that was with him?” Kakashi asked Baki. Her mentor was still reluctant to share intel like this, but they were in too dire a situation to be picky.

“Vanished,” he said curtly.

“So she could have gone back to wherever they came from. Fetch help.”

The two Konoha chunin exchanged a loaded gaze. They weren’t going to say it, but their thought process was crystal clear, and pretty sound.

The chances were high that Konoha’s jinchuuriki would be found where Suna’s was.

“Our intent is to bring Gaara back to Suna,” Baki said, and there was something of a warning in his voice. Did he expect them to get in the way of this?

Temari would have missed it, had she not happened to be looking at Kankuro at that moment, but he looked… his eyes narrowed, just a fraction, his mouth thinned down to a displeased line.

“We will let you deal with your own, as we deal with ours,” Kakashi replied.

The exact same expression, on the Uchiha’s face. Keeping their lips tightly shut against… Against what?

A protest?

Wasn’t it what they wanted, for them to come home?

She didn’t know why it sat so badly with her too.

“Sasuke, how long do you need, to come up with an antidote?”

“I’m not sure… It depends on whether they have what I need here or not. But a few hours at least.”

“Don’t be pedant, child,” Old Chiyo said, sounding very pedantic herself. “We are well furnished here.”

“My apologies,” he answered immediately. “I meant no offense.”

It was impossible to say if he was genuinely contrite or practically polite, and the old woman was infuriated with no reason to say so. Whether intentional or not, it was well played.

“We’ll head out without you then. You’re needed here,” Kakashi insisted, when the boy made to protest.

“Your tracking skill will be no use in the desert,” Baki said. They had all agreed on the pedantic, it seemed. “The first scouts will return soon, with an idea of the route to follow. They’ll guide you through the desert. Wait until then.”

“Very well.”

They moved then, going to occupy themselves until they could head out. The old Chiyo took the Uchiha to the greenhouse, his friend in tow, Baki and Kakashi went to discuss strategy, or erotic literature, for all she knew.

She found herself alone with Kankuro, the silence blessed after such agitation. She had things to do too, maneuvers to plan, defenses to organize. She couldn’t bring herself to get up. She was sat back at Kankuro’s side, leaned against his arm.

“How… how was he?” she whispered, loud in the now quiet room.

“He seemed… fine. He didn’t talk much. The girl said more than him, as she examined me. I wasn’t in a good state so I couldn’t… I thought I was hallucinating.”

Gaara had been here. He had come back, all the way into the heart of the village, he had stood in this very room, just a few hours ago.

“Really, he was… He was fine, he was…”

She knew what he was trying to say.

Of course she had hoped and prayed that he was safe and sound somewhere, that he was okay. But maybe a tiny part of her had clung to the idea that he had been taken, that he had gone against his will and needed to be rescued. How awful was she, to wish he had been suffering, to wish him ill because he was away from them?

But he was fine. Whatever he had been doing, he was okay.

It hurt. It hurt.

.

The old woman had said they were “well-furnished”, and Sasuke could concede that for a greenhouse set up in the middle of the desert, their reserves were more than adequate.

But had he been working in Sai’s greenhouse, he would have been able to produce about two dozens doses of the antidote. As it was, he managed to scrape up just enough for three.

Maybe it was unfair to put it all on the climate though. Sai was just… like that. He had started working at the Yamanaka shop to lend a hand, because they were short on labor with Ino’s generations rising up the ranks in the ninja force, and now he grew almost everything they sold there and more. He had a disturbing passion for poisonous plants of all sorts. He could grow anything and everything, and he never took any precautions to handle those, no matter their toxicity. And he did it as a hobby – it had taken at least six months for him to mention in Sasuke’s vicinity that he effortlessly grew plants any doctor would kill to have for creating medicine – or poisons – and he had had the gall to be puzzled by Sasuke’s irritation at the late discovery.

Anyway, Sasuke was used to working with it now. He had packed a few essentials, but Suna missed some basic herbs that would have made this a lot easier. He wondered how ill-advised it would be to give them some suggestions on the matter – that old woman, Chiyo, seemed irked enough by their presence already.

“Sasuke, the first patrols are back, we’ll head out soon. Are you done?” Kakashi asked, striding into the greenhouse with his usual nonchalance.

“Hm,” he confirmed, turning off the heat and meticulously pouring the medicine in three glass vials.

The old woman was glaring daggers at his teacher – Kakashi’s father would have killed her son and his wife, apparently. Her grudge was strange to Sasuke, for ninja killed each other all the time and surely if he had been ordered to take these two down, or had fought and defeated them during an attack, he wasn’t the one who should be held responsible.

Kakashi’s father was dead anyway, and where would they end up if they started charging children with the crimes of their parents? Besides, she was that Sasori’s grandmother...

“I’ll administrate it now, a few minutes will be enough to know if it was efficient. Then we can go.”

Sakura had been hovering around him at the beginning of the process, but he had soon shooed her away, her impatience too distracting. She didn’t like staying idle, but they couldn’t do much before the scouts were back. Sasuke had improved greatly his reserve of patience after two years of precise surgery, slow-going medical ninjutsu and medicine preparation… and the hassle of whining patients.

Some things couldn’t be rushed

Her agitation was contagious though, knowing that those two men were getting further and further away with each minute, dragging with them Gaara and, maybe, a chance to enquire about Naruto.

Thinking about his friend wasn’t a distraction to him anymore. It was a constant, always playing at the back of his mind, and he could get through most of his duties without it disturbing him. He could walk back to Kankuro’s room and wonder how far Naruto was from him right now, he could pour the antidote down the boy’s throat and sort through the things he most wanted to say to his friend and which one would come out first. He could monitor the antidote’s effect and check his patient’s pulse while calling Naruto’s face to his memory, and trying to guess what changes could have occurred in him, how he would look. How he would look at _him_ , if they came face to face, what his expression would be, what feelings would shine through, trying to find a balance between what he wished to see on that face and what was more likely to appear.

“You’re out of trouble. You’ll still feel stiff and aching for the next few hours, so rest until it passes.”

“Thank you.”

Sasuke was a little addicted to this very specific sort of satisfaction.

The main reason why he had decided to properly train in medical ninjutsu was to get close to Tsunade. She was the highest-ranking member of the village he could get as a master, the Hokage herself. He needed both her tutelage and the reputation it would get him, if he managed to keep up of course.

And oh, he had.

He worried it might be shallow of him, but the _praise_ , the satisfaction on the woman’s face the first time she had watched him perform what he had learned, how she had immediately taken him aside to move on to the next level while the rest of her students stayed under Shizune’s patient guidance… Had he had any doubt about his choices before that, it would have been snuffed out in an instant right then. Tsunade had made no secret of how little she thought of his lineage and family name, it was even a downside in her eyes. So she wasn’t doing him any favor, her recognition wasn’t empty.

Proof enough was that it didn’t extend to Itachi.

He wasn’t bad, of course. Itachi wasn’t bad at anything. He was good, even.

Sasuke was just better.

It came naturally to him in a way offensive ninjutsu never did. It was easy to bend his chakra to the need of an injury or a disease, easy to know where to go, what to do. He had worked a tremendous amount on his chakra control, jealous for the first time in his life of Sakura and her gift in that department, but he made do with his own because this sort of control had nothing to do with what they did when training in attack. Medical ninjutsu required very little chakra at a time, but it had to be controlled to the utmost precision.

And Sasuke _liked_ that.

So he had come for convenience and stayed because he was good at it, but very soon he had realized that… well, simply that nothing compared, and nothing ever would.

There was no such thing as village rivalry when it came to medic-nin. Kankuro was from Suna and there was no link whatsoever between them, but Sasuke could help him, so he had, and now his pain was gone and he would be fine.

Being a medic meant Sasuke could help everyone. Not just his village, not just the shinobi world, not just his superiors. Everyone, anyone. He could be useful, no matter the situation, he could make a difference.

And he would never tire of this.

“Our scouts picked up their trail at the doors of the deserts. Several teams are already on it, but the enemy is covering their traces well, so one more is more than welcome,” the jounin from Suna said – Baki. Sasuke couldn’t figure out what his role was, if he was more than a jounin or was simply close to the Kazekage’s family. He seemed protective of them anyway.

“Matsuri!”

A young girl, about Sasuke and Sakura’s age, stepped into the room. She tripped on her feet and though she managed to catch herself before falling over, it earned her a scornful look from her superior.

“Matsuri will take you through the desert.”

“Once we’re out, I’ll be able to pick up,” Kakashi said.

“I know your reputation as a tracker. You might have a better chance than our teams, but I count on you to relay your findings."

The man counted on it, but he didn’t trust it in any way. That was probably another mission of the girl – to make sure they didn’t do anything to Suna’s jinchuuriki in the process. It was pointless to be irked by this, since no words or sentiments would convince anyone of their goodwill on the matter, but it irked him all the same. Did they have to doubt each other still, to be wary and guarded, even now? Ah, of course they did. Trust if you want, Tsunade would say, but always assume that no one trusts you.

“I will accompany you.”

All heads swiveled to the old woman who had the gall to look surprised at their wide eyes. She silenced her brother before he, or anyone else, could protest.

“I need to take care of my grandson.”

Her tone booked no argument. Sasuke worried she would slow them down, but the Suna nin, despite their reluctance, didn’t protest. Age didn’t factor in the strength of a shinobi.

“I’ve lived long enough anyway,” she said with a laugh, uncomfortable in its misplaced cheerfulness. They didn’t have time to argue.

“It’s settled then,” Kakashi declared, final. “Let’s go.”

.

Tsunade crushed the message in her hand, hard enough that it would be barely legible anymore.

The Akatsuki hadn’t made any significant move since their intrusion in Konoha – why now? What was their goal, what were they trying to achieve, attacking Suna out of the blue?

“What team is closest to Suna now?” she asked Raido, who was handling the Assignment desk. He did a quick check through his notes.

“That would be Team Gai.”

“Send them a message immediately, they need to go to Suna.”

Did she need to go too? She could read between the lines – if something happened to Rasa… but she couldn’t afford to leave Konoha unprotected, no matter what her instincts demanded of her.

She was stuck under that hat – she couldn’t help any more than this.

.

It was lucky, that the two men were moving so slowly, but it was also infuriating. To move at such a leisurely path, to be so unguarded, they had to be confident enough in their own strengths, to know that they didn’t need to worry about their pursuers.

Unfortunately, Karin had seen what they could do. She knew it was well-founded.

At least it allowed her to tail them without too much difficulty, and without them noticing – had they been more alert, maybe they would have spotted her, but they simply didn’t care. For even if they knew she was there, what would it change? It wasn’t like she could do anything against either of them, let alone both at the same time.

For now she could only follow and focus on not losing sight of Gaara.

They were carrying him in some sort of flying bird made out of clay, but she knew not to take the younger man’s creations lightly. She had seen what it could do, the skin of her right arm still tender after she’d healed in a haste the burns caused by the first explosion. Gaara was unconscious, had been ever since one of those bombs had exploded inside his shield. Chakra depletion more than anything, if she had to guess.

They wouldn’t be in this situation if he hadn’t spent so much trying to protect his village, from yet another explosion that would have flattened half of Suna. It would have been good riddance in her opinion, one less problem to worry about, but she knew Gaara was still attached to that place, for some unfathomable reason.

It wasn’t supposed to go this way. There shouldn’t have been any trouble – get to Suna, heal the brother, get out. Easy, straightforward. And then barely five minutes after their arrival at the hospital, the wall in their back had been blasted away. The red clouds, familiar by now. She could as well have been a piece of furniture, for they went straight after Gaara.

A _fucking trap_. Of fucking course, because Gaara’s brother on the verge of dying just had to be a damn trap.

It hadn’t even occurred to them. The intel was sound, confirmed by one of Naruto’s foxes – Gaara’s brother was indeed poisoned, and they were indeed struggling to find a cure. Nothing about the Akatsuki. Because they didn’t know? Or was it on purpose? She didn’t put it above Suna to try and seize the opportunity to retrieve Gaara. Out of all the villages, they had been the most tenacious by far, compared to Konoha half-assed attempts. Not that Kumo and Taki had been that mellow, but they had different priorities.

Then again, Suna was the only one looking both for its jinchuuriki and its Kazekage’s son.

Karin suspected Gaara’s motivation to go to Suna at once had something to do with this too. Maybe he wanted to show them, that he was so far beyond their control that he could get in and out without care, that he was truly free from those shackles. Except it had backfired, quite spectacularly.

And now he was unconscious and she could only follow, sick with worry.

Akiko would have warned the others by now, but would they get there in time? And even if they did, would it be enough? The Akatsuki was no joke. And if Naruto came…

Ah, of course he would, that idiot. No way he would stay idle while Gaara was in danger. Neji couldn’t come alone anyway. That’s what they got for having only damn jinchuuriki in the team.

That would almost, _almost_ make her regret Suigetsu’s obsession with running around the hills looking for stupid swords. Almost.

She had Suna to worry about too. They would soon catch up, and maybe other villages would join on the fun, once the news spread. It could spread fast.

She tried to calculate their position, where they were heading and what they could expect to encounter on the way. No matter how dire the situation, as long as they regrouped with Naruto, as long as they could touch, they would be fine. That was what she needed to focus on. Snatch Gaara back, grab Naruto. His trick being uncovered didn’t matter anymore, as long as they could get far away from there.

She had promised him they would be home soon, and she never went back on her words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. "Akiko" is not a typo.
> 
> Is the plot picking up or what.
> 
> Rasa's asshole tendencies strike again u.u maybe for the last time tho lol. Next chapter will be full of fighting and it's KICKING MY ASS. I hate fight scenes so damn much you have no idea. But well, I dug my own grave and now I must lie in it.  
> So as I complained about [here](https://inrainprose.tumblr.com/post/615750161504911360/i-freaking-hate-naruto-i-hate-it-over-ten-years), Sasori's timeline makes not much sense, so I'm going with the idea that he stayed in Suna for a while after killing the previous Kazekage. I just find it more interesting for him to have met the sand sibs when they were kids. #self-indulgent. Speaking about self-indulgent, I'm SOLD on medic!Sasuke, does it show? 
> 
> I know you're all missing Naruto, please be patient I promise he'll show up for good soon ^^ See you!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FIGHT.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was getting a bit stressed out like "it's been so long since I updated" but it was actually less than two months ago? Which is not that much really. I know I'm usually faster but well. That's life. Anyway delay is both about being busy and about that chapter kicking my ass. I mentioned several times what a pain fight scenes are and this is basically all there is here... But in the end I'm pretty happy with how it turned out! Hope you'll enjoy, even if I didn't lol.
> 
> Big thank to dancibayo for looking over this and pointing out words that really don't mean what I think they mean in english x)

“Well, this is inconvenient,” the blond one said mildly, annoyed but not overly alarmed.

“Inconvenient” was one way to put it, Karin supposed.

It wasn’t her best move, she could admit that. But they had reached that massive boulder, sealing the entrance to whatever den those men were returning to, and her instinct had screamed at her that if they got in with Gaara, she wouldn’t get him out. Not alive, anyway.

There was no way she could take either of them on, but surely help was on its way, she just needed to buy some time, she needed to prevent them from going into that cave.

Raising barriers was one of Karin’s specialties. If she had one thing going for her, it was her bottomless chakra reserves and her skills with barrier seals – the two went hand in hand. Karin could make clones and perform the Four Violet Flame formation all on her own. She could also sneak on the Akatsuki men while they were busy unlocking some seals and snatch Gaara from the clay bird. She could trap herself in a _kekkai_ with him before they had a chance to stop her.

And now she could do nothing else but wait.

“Girl, can you please let it go? We’re on a bit of a schedule.”

She thought she had heard his partner call him Deidara. Annoyed and annoying, but not worried. Understandable – she was safe inside the barrier, but also trapped, and she couldn’t maintain it forever. It was burning through her chakra reserve fast – a few hours, maybe half a day? That depended on how hard they would try to breach it.

Then it would fail and they would kill her.

Gaara wasn’t going to wake up, she had seen the creepy one stab him with a needle and could only hope it wasn’t lethal, since they had gone through the trouble of capturing him alive and surely needed him in that state a little longer.

Her only consolation as that they were certainly underestimating how long she could keep it up. But who would reach them first? She was defenseless – the weakest of their underlings could kill her off easily. If it was people from Suna, they would engage in a fight, but they surely wouldn’t try to save her, on the contrary. And they would want Gaara back.

“I’m going to rip off your skin,” the creepy one said – what was it, Sasori? The other one rolled his eyes.

“Not if I get to her first.”

“I’m not asking for your opinion.”

“You’re not? I’m wounded.”

It was a bit insulting that they would be so carefree about this situation, but really, they had no reason to worry, unlike her. They started arguing about the most effective way to break her out of the barrier, and the Four Violet Flam formation was technically unbreakable, but sustaining their attacks would take its toll on her.

Naruto needed to get his ass here _fast_.

.

They reached the limits of the desert after a few hours.

The girl, Matsuri, was quite good at this, leading them through the markers left by the previous teams without hesitation. When the landscape started to change around them, sand to rocks to trees, Hatake Kakashi took over the tracking with several _ninken_.

The man looked so much like his father, it was uncanny, and it made it difficult for Chiyo to resist the urge to bury a kunai between his shoulder blades.

It wouldn’t bring her any comfort, just as killing the White Fang for what he had done to her son and his wife wouldn’t have either. She would settle for the satisfaction though. How frustrating, to have heard all those years ago the man had chosen to kill himself, and not, as would have been the courteous thing to do, by surrendering to one of his many enemies. She would have been glad to grant his death wish. Had he no consideration for those who longed to kill him themselves?

Had her son not died… Ah, they wouldn’t be here at all, would they? Sasori would still be in the village. He couldn’t bear his parents’ death – surely, things would have turned up different, if only…

If only what? If only they weren’t shinobi? Dying was their prerogative. She was the anomaly, for how old she was, how stubbornly long she had survived.

It was a relief to see it drawing to a close.

They stumbled upon the first team a few hours out of the desert.

Three chunin and a jounin from Suna, bodies torn to pieces or turned purple and distorted by poison. They should have known better than to engage with Sasori, or maybe they didn’t learn his tale anymore? One of the chunin was a puppeteer. She must have known.

At least it meant they were on the right track, and the team had put up a decent fight – this would have slowed their targets down. Chiyo remarked as much and received a teary glare for her words, as Matsuri collected the identification tokens of the four dead and set up a mark that would lead others to them, so that their bodies could be brought back to Suna. Chiyo shrugged it off, unaffected. It was so long since death had any hold on her, hers or others’. This was simply their fate.

They found a second team, an hour later. One of the jounin was still alive, if barely – at least, until the Uchiha boy got to him. They had no time nor chakra to waste on medical ninjutsu, yet waste both they did, until the man was a few steps further away from death door. He had nothing of import to say about the enemy. The kids seemed reluctant, but still they left him there to be found by a rescue team, as they should.

She wondered if she used to care like they did. She couldn’t imagine, but her memory was doing poorly these days.

They took a brief rest hidden among the trees before resuming the chase, the trail leading them along a river to a short cliff, where finally, they came face to face with their opponents, in a rather unexpected position.

They were trying to break into a purple _kekkai_ , raised square on the water in front of a stone _torii_ and the opening of a large cave, the boulder meant to seal it hovering above their heads. The barrier was held up by a single girl split in four. Red hair, a flat white mask marked with a red spiral – she fitted the description of Gaara’s companion.

The boy laid at her feet, unconscious, as a fifth iteration of the girl – probably the original – seemed to work on healing him.

The two Akatsuki members wore the black cloak adorned with red clouds of their organization. The young one, she didn’t know, and didn’t care about. But the other…

It was Hiruko, without a doubt. Sasori’s armor, and it could be no one else than her grandson hiding inside. Did she really hope it would be someone else, an impostor? She did. Sasori had been gone for ten years, and she had hoped… But was this what he was doing? Colluding with this ragtag band of mercenaries and criminals?

His parents would be so ashamed. Oh, how she had failed her family.

“Some fuckers from Konoha now? We don’t have time for this,” the young man sighed dramatically. They had disposed easily of the two previous teams that had the misfortune of running into them. They weren’t to be taken lightly.

“Let’s get rid of them now,” Sasori said, voice rough like he was choking on sand. “The girl will tire out soon.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

Both men turned their attention fully to their group. Chiyo was confident she could take on Sasori, but the other would complicate the matter, and she had no idea what those Konoha nin were worth…

“We are here to retrieve Gaara,” Hatake Kakashi said, voice even. “Please, hand him over.”

“But look, we don’t have it!” the young one said, showing his palms to the Heavens.

They were split open by two gaping mouths – they blurted two clay hummingbirds that flew toward them at startling speed.

“Take cover!”

They had just the time to jump back before the birds exploded in the air, rousing the water around them.

The man laughed, wildly pleased.

“Don’t be shy! We’re only getting started!”

“Is that the best you can do?” Sasori growled, disdainful. He seemed to despise his partner, but it was no use counting on internal dissent – no doubt the two agreed on their goal either way, to kill whoever stood in their path. They had to change the parameters of that fight somehow.

The water settled down, but it took them a moment to notice still.

The girl was gone.

“WHERE THE FUCK DID SHE GO.”

The man wasn’t amused at all anymore. She had dropped the barrier and made a break for it, Gaara in tow. That was admittedly well played.

“Go after them you moron!” Sasori growled.

They had to make a decision now.

“Go. Leave Sasori to me,” Chiyo ordered, sorting through her storage scroll with careful consideration. She was the only one who stood a chance against him, but he surely had made modifications to his creations.

“You? Alone?”

She would have loved to make Sakumo’s son swallow back his disrespect, but there was no time to waste – already the younger one was on the move, and if that girl had hidden in a _kekkai_ for so long, she was no match to him.

“You’re an Uchiha, right?” Chiyo asked the medic boy. His eyes were already bright red.

“Yes.”

“A good one?”

“Yes.”

She could appreciate the confidence.

“Stay with me. The others, go. You’ll only be a nuisance.”

The Konoha girl seemed about to protest, but her teacher silenced her. Chiyo couldn’t spare them a thought – she focused on Sasori, in case he would want to stop them from leaving.

He did. Hiruko’s tale darted toward them, inhumanly fast.

But not too fast for her.

She pushed the boy behind her back, drew a kunai string from her sleeves – it wouldn’t touch him, but it didn’t need to. He took his tail back to protect from the attack – the rest of the team took the opportunity to flee.

“Are you defying me, grandmother?”

“I’m sending you to your grave, if you don’t repent.”

He laughed.

“You two will make fine additions to my collection.”

He ripped off his cloak. At her side, the boy gasp.

Hiruko was quite the sight after all.

“What is this?”

“A puppet. An armor. Puppeteers are vulnerable when they manipulate their weapon, and this his solution. Sasori is inside. We need to force him out.”

It was different from the last time she had seen it, starting with that massive shield on the back.

But the mechanisms were the same, and Sasori was still in the village when he had completed the first version of this puppet.

“It’s Sasuke, right?”

“Yes. Uchiha Sasuke.”

“Uchiha Sasuke, how good is your aim?”

He took out a few long _senbon_ from his weapon pouch. His eyes were glowing red and he was perfectly calm and focused, not inclined to ask questions nor voice doubt.

“As good as it needs to be.”

Always sure of themselves, those Uchiha. But at least in that particular field, there was hope that it was justified.

“And your Katon?”

He assessed the other man, the armor. He frowned.

“I’m not sure I can break through this,” he admitted, though it seemed to cost him. At least he didn’t lie.

“It doesn’t need to. Listen, here’s what we’re gonna do.”

.

Sakura wasn’t sure who they were chasing exactly.

They meant to rescue Gaara, right? And the Akatsuki was their enemy. But the girl…

She was running away from both groups. And both were chasing after her.

Why were they here then?

Suna wanted to take Gaara back. As they should, surely. Was that their mission too? Were they just going to… hand him over?

For all she had wished for Naruto to be returned to them, she had never imagined for a second someone else just… delivering him to their door, bond and beaten, subdued by some strangers. What would they have done of him then?

What would they do with Gaara, if he was returned to his village?

They kept their distance from the younger member of the Akatsuki, Deidara, but he wasn’t paying much attention to them for now, busy, as they were, with tracking the girl. It made sense to avoid engaging in a complicated fight if they could, but still she felt uneasy at the whole situation. She wished she could discuss it with Kakashi, but they still had the Suna chunin with them – they had to be careful about what she would report.

“We should split up,” Kakashi said after a while, when it became apparent that the girl, even if she couldn’t have gone far, was pretty good at hiding. They stayed concealed by the cover of the trees as above them, the man circled the woods on a flying bird of clay, growing increasingly frustrated at the search.

“I’m going to deal with him,” Kakashi went on, pointing up. “I’ll keep him busy. You find the girl.”

“How?”

“You’ve been training at sensing, haven’t you?”

Jiraiya must have told him – she had kept it to herself, because even if she had a natural sensitivity to chakra, she was far from proficient enough to be called a proper sensor.

She would have a hard time tracking a complete stranger. Well, she had seen the girl’s barrier, had felt the slow, steady current of her chakra. The flavor… yes, if she focused enough, maybe she could point it out. She nodded.

“Find shelter and try. Matsuri will cover for you.”

The Suna girl startled at being included in any way. She didn’t look much at ease, but she agreed without a word.

They split, going deeper into the woods while Kakashi focused on their enemy. A moment later, the air rattled with the sound of an explosion – the fight was on then.

There was no time to waste – Sakura selected a large rock that would provide a modicum of cover, and sat at its foot on the forest ground. That Matsuri girl took position too, her back to Sakura so that she could keep an eye on their surroundings.

Sakura closed her eyes.

She had no spatial awareness or anything that refined – she could only tell that there were beings thrumming with chakra around them. She struggled to see past the black hole that were Kakashi and Deidara’s presence. The girl was more subdued, in every way. It was hard to tune in on her faint signature.

She found it though. And the weird, fluctuating thing by her side had to be Gaara.

Sakura could only come up with a general direction, but she got a feeling that the girl wasn’t moving for now. Hiding?

Waiting for something, someone?

“This way,” she called, trusting the other one would fall in line. “Can you hide your presence?”

“Well, enough, I think.”

Here was to hoping the girl wasn’t too good a sensor herself.

It only took a few minutes to find her, in a sheltered clearing where she was kneeling by Gaara’s unconscious form, tucked between the roots of a massive tree, so focused on him she didn’t notice them right away.

“Dammit, Gaara, wake up!”

She had taken off her mask, carelessly discarded in the grass.

Sakura recognized her at first glance.

Karin, her memory supplied. Karin, the girl she helped during the chunin exam and who helped her in turn… Why was she here? What did it mean?

She didn’t think she would get the chance to ask.

“I recall you were pretty good at healing.”

In a heartbeat Karin was facing them, a kunai raised to her face, shielding the boy with her own body. Her face was hard and stony, though the intimidating effect was dimmed by her obvious exhaustion. Sakura raised her hands up, placating.

“We mean no harm, I promise.”

“Really? What do you mean then?”

Frustratingly enough, Sakura didn’t have an answer to that. Karin scoffed.

“I won’t let you take him.”

“That’s not…”

“That’s not up to you, Red Head.”

Again the stances changed in an instant – from facing off Karin, Sakura found herself showing her back to the girl, focusing on the new threat.

It was Deidara.

“I have to thank you, Pink. I’m shit at tracking. You saved me a lot of time.”

Sakura didn’t let her mind ponder, and she didn’t ask – the man was here now, whatever the reason. She had a mission. She didn’t have time to worry, she didn’t need to know. If Kakashi was held back by someone else, or if he was… For now, no one was coming.

“You’re not taking them,” she declared, drawing her sword.

The man beamed.

.

Kakashi had guessed the Akatsuki would have reinforcement at hand, but this… this was incomprehensible.

The man, Deidara, despite his nonchalant attitude, was very intent on his goal. “I’m pissed I won’t get to fight you,” he’d said, before taking off to chase after the girls. Not without leaving Kakashi with another handful to deal with, of course.

He’d summoned them from a scroll. A body scroll, as far as Kakashi could tell, and in a way, they did contain bodies. 

Two bodies. Two people long dead, and yet…

Kakashi was facing two jounin from Konoha. They still had their headband, they looked the same as the last time he’d seen them, though it had been years. The only difference was the black of their eyes, their ashen complexion.

The fact that they didn’t recognize him. Didn’t smile, as they would have if they did.

Kakashi’s way was blocked by two of his father’s friends.

.

It was taking up all of Sasuke’s self-control to surrender to the pulls of the woman’s threads, to let her guide his body to dance against their enemy’s weapons.

The fight had moved to the cave, that had apparently been the Akatsuki’s destination. It was vast enough that fighting inside wasn’t a problem, but Sasuke was uncomfortable with the enclosed space. He couldn’t tell if their enemy had lured them in on purpose or not.

He was mostly focusing on relaxing his muscles so as not to go against the move she wanted to impose him – her mastery was impressive, even moreso because he was, in fact, a human being, and not a puppet. The puppeteers of Suna were used to manipulate weapons, inanimate and deadly, to smash them around and sacrifice them if need be. At times he couldn’t help but tense up, sure that she would pull too far on his legs and arms, bend them in a way they wouldn’t agree with. But she never did – all his moves stayed perfectly within the range of his flexibility.

Once he was able to relinquish control, he couldn’t help but find it exhilarating. He could never have moved and reacted as fast as she was making him, as she stood outside of the fight and could see the whole picture, where he was in the heart of it. The only moment where she let loose her thread but a tad was when…

There.

His Sharingan zeroed on the tiny, almost invisible hole drilled into the wood of the armor. Between a move and the next, Sasuke threw a needle, fast and precise, lodging it precisely in the hole.

Four more to go, and they would have loosened the armor enough that a Katon would be able to blow it apart.

He had to be careful, or the man would notice. According to the old woman, Sasuke needed to jam the juncture points to put a strain on the various articulations, enough that it would weaken the armor’s integrity. He understood why she had been concerned about his aim – being a weakness, the man had been careful to make those building points as small as possible, and regular shinobi wouldn’t have been able to spot them, let alone to aim for them.

But Sasuke wasn’t a regular shinobi.

He started to sign even before the last senbon had hit its target, so when the man understood what he had been doing, as the last of the joint came loose, Sasuke was already launching a fireball his way.

The armor, already loosened, dislocated under the explosion.

Sasuke’s eyes followed the silhouette of the man jumping out of the ruins of his puppet to the other side of the cave, as he went back to the old Chiyo’s position.

“Not bad. But it’s going to take a lot more than this, grandmother.”

He didn’t look like what Sasuke expected. But judging by the woman’s reaction, she was equally surprised.

He looked youthful and harmless, with a childish, pretty face and innocent eyes. Though the look he threw at them was anything but. Hair a bright blood red and skin smooth, flawless, almost unnaturally so. They didn’t get to dwell on it though, as the man wiped out another puppet, resembling a middle-aged man with dark hair and fine features, if one excluded the articulations and the soulless eyes.

His face looked familiar though. The old woman gasped audibly, shocked.

“That’s… How is that possible? Sasori!”

“It was never solved, was it? The mysterious disappearance of the Sandaime Kazekage. I should know, I was sent to look for him at the time…”

Ah. Yeah. Sasuke had seen his picture in the Kage record.

“But you… it was years before you left. All this time, you were already…”

“Oh, grandmother. Did you think it came after, somehow? That I was corrupted by some outside influence? Your faith is touching but foolish, old hag. This is two Kage I ended myself. Aren’t you proud of me?”

That guy was awfully annoying.

It was almost a relief when he seemed to deem the conversation uninteresting, and launched the Kage puppet at them. Almost, because that thing was _fast_.

Chiyo yanked Sasuke away, put up the severed tail of the armor to shield him. It shattered on impact – that new puppet had quite the strength.

And blades dripping poison, of _course_.

The thing spurted out half a hundred arms, and Sasuke avoided getting impaled solely thanks to the chakra strings moving his body around. The puppet spat poisonous gas at him then, and trapped him with wires before he had a chance to get away, for good measure. But Sasuke used those on the regular, and he had learned his lesson – he managed to cut himself free before the need for air was too much. The old woman pulled him toward her, and protected them both from the next attack with puppets of her own. A man and woman, looking quite tamed compared to the Kazekage, but who turned out to be Sasori’s parents, that he had crafted himself as a child out of grief, after their passing.

That was pretty weird, even by shinobi standards, though they could find equally disturbing practices in Konoha. He wisely didn’t say a thing – clearly, this was not his fight.

And he couldn’t deny it was quite impressive seeing those puppets at work, as they lashed out at each other under their master’s command. The tactical advantage was undeniable – as violent as their attacks were, they left the puppeteers unharmed, so long as their creation could withstand the onslaught. It was to the first one to give, the first one to break.

“We’ve wasted enough time as it is,” the man said, growing impatient. Some thick black powder came pouring out of the puppet’s mouth, floating shapeless around them both.

Sasuke’s mind did a rapid check of what he knew of the Sandaime Kazekage. The main point was consistent with what he was seeing.

Iron Sand. But how…

“How can it use this technique,” he asked, curious despite himself, even if now clearly wasn’t the time for a lecture. “How can it wield chakra?”

“Sasori’s creations are unlike any other. They are carved out of a real human body, and they retain their chakra system and accumulated power.”

This was a terrifying thought. It reminded him of how careful they had to be, in the Uchiha clan, not to let their dead bodies fall into enemies' hands. The quest for power pursued them even in death. The Sandaime Kazekage was said to be the strongest they ever had, and well respected too.

And here was how he had ended up.

“We need to retreat,” Old Chiyo said, wary eyes fixated on her grandson and its nightmarish creation. “It is suicide to go against the Iron Sand in an enclosed space. It can infiltrate everywhere, one contact will render my puppets useless.”

Being in the cave also limited the ranges of Sasuke’s own preferred attacks – most of his Katon wouldn’t spare the old woman or himself here.

“Alright, let’s…”

Of course the man would have the same reasoning.

The Iron Sand was at the entrance before they had even turned on their heels, filling up the narrow opening. Effectively trapping them in.

“You are not going anywhere, grandmother.”

This was not good.

.

Sakura’s disadvantage was undeniable.

Ironically enough, while she meant to shield Gaara and Karin from the man’s attack, it ended up working the other way around – only because she stayed close to them did her opponent have to restrain the scale of his explosions. The few times she had wandered far enough from their reach…

She was burnt all over, skin tight and pulling. And she couldn’t get close to him.

Her sword could shield her from the smaller explosion – the ants and spiders crawling all over the mossy ground and falling from the trees. Karin, in her back, had keen eyes, and could spot them better than Sakura could. The Suna girl was focused on making sure none of the ugly clay creatures would snatch Gaara away while they weren’t looking, decent enough with her _johyo_ to keep the creatures at bay. But they were backed up on defense without much leeway to retaliate.

All the more frustrating was the cheers of the man. At least one of them was having a great time. But she wasn’t entirely without a strategy, even if it wasn’t a very refined one. He kept pulling clay from the satchels at his waist, molded by the mouth in his hands – and what was up with that anyway. But she had noticed he was reaching deeper and deeper. He was bound to run out eventually, right?

He had to be aware of that too though.

“Okay, you know what?” he said, irritated now. “I don’t care if I maim the guy a little. Jinchuuriki are supposed to heal fast anyway, right?”

The next sculpture to spurt out of his hand mouths – some sort of flying squirrel – was _much_ bigger than the birds and insects. And the size was the strength of the explosion, right?

“Shit.”

It set off after her – a few sidesteps proved that it zeroed on her position. They couldn’t withstand such a blast.

She dashed to the side, to put the distance, to get away, because Gaara maybe would survive the blast, but the others wouldn’t. Karin yelled after her, “come back here you moron!”, but Sakura was running out of idea and she had to…

She had to what? Protect those people? That wasn’t her mission. That wasn’t…

Ah. But what else could she do?

She was far enough, she hoped, when the clay squirrel caught up to her.

_“Shit.”_

.

Sasuke didn’t pack a strong enough punch to counter the huge blocks of dense iron sand that Sasori was throwing at them. Sakura would have, maybe, but Sakura wasn’t there. The old woman’s puppets were useless, filled with black sand that blocked all their joints and weapons. She had to make do with him, but steel weapons were inefficient against the iron sand, as were fire-based jutsu. Which left…

“You said it worked with magnetization right? That’s how he’s able to control it?”

“Yes.”

Old Chiyo would run out of steam soon.

“I’m going to try something.”

Sasuke had trained a fair amount with Kakashi during these past two years. Mostly out of spite – his father kept making unsubtle comments at the fact that he and Itachi spent all their time at the hospital and were neglecting their combat training. Not an unfounded concern, as Sasuke did have trouble pacing himself and was caught napping in the nurses’ break room about a hundred times, but he didn’t want to give his father the impression that he listened to him.

He wasn’t as comfortable with lightening release as with fire, and the technique put quite a strain on his chakra system and reserves. But preserving his stamina was useless if he was going to be poisoned or trampled to death anyway.

“Don’t make me dodge the next block.”

It came fast, but he could sign faster, even such a long combination. Someone ought to work on shortening those sequences though.

“Chidori!”

The familiar rush of static exploded in his palm as his chakra thundered like a lightning strike. And as he had hoped, before it could even come into contact with the block, the iron sand suddenly lost its cohesiveness, pouring down unrestrained.

Demagnetized.

“It won’t last,” the old woman remarked, and he almost snapped back at her, but there was no point. It was the truth – as long as the puppet had its peculiar chakra, it could perform its jutsu again.

“How many times can you do that again?”

“Four,” he lied. “If only I could strike that puppet directly…”

Well. There was always a way.

“Well, boy,” Sasori sneered, displeased but strangely endeared. “Let’s see how you’ll avoid this one.”

.

Temari organized the rescue teams tasked with clearing up the streets and assisting the people affected, with instructions to report on the injured and eventual deaths, and to assess the damage with as much precision as possible, so that they could start drawing up plans for compensation and rebuilding.

She went to the intensive care unit.

She listened to the first reports of the scouts who went after the attackers, some coming back empty-handed, others with precious intel that drew a more and more precise picture of their movements.

She went to the intensive care unit.

She walked the streets, trying to offer some comfort and reassurance to the wandering citizens, even if they were almost as wary of her as they were of what could befall them again at a moment’s notice.

She went to the intensive care unit.

The light remained on, a glowing red, harsh and unforgiving. They were still operating on her father. The ninjutsu was too delicate and complicated to allow the slightest disturbance, so she couldn’t enter the room, couldn’t get an update on what was going on inside.

She could only pace the corridor, stare at the door in case she suddenly developed the ability to see through it.

They had their best medic-nin on it, but she feared that wasn’t saying much.

Suna was lacking in the medical field, as they were lacking in many other areas, compared to the other hidden villages. Temari was well aware of Suna’s position and shortcomings – the weakest of the five, the least developed and the most vulnerable. It was only thanks to the desert that they had survived despite their weaknesses, but then again, wasn’t it also the desert’s fault, that they couldn’t improve as they wished?

No, it was hypocritical to blame it on the land. It wasn’t the sand and the sun's fault if they neglected their medic-nin's training program, if their children’s education was incomplete, if they had so many people struggling.

Temari had been raised to believe a group was only ever as strong and capable as its leader.

Her father was to blame for what had happened. There was no going around it. He knew, he _knew_ how dangerous the Akatsuki was. The Sanin Jiraiya’s warning had been quite explicit, and even if he lacked information on some of the members, what he had was enough to get the idea.

Arrogance was her father’s flaw. Hers too, probably, but she trusted she could fight it, if only so that she wouldn’t come to resemble him too much. He had thought they could handle it. He had gambled the village’s safety on that assumption. And for what?

Gaara wouldn’t return to them.

What was even the point? Suna had many, many other issues to be dealt with. The loss of their jinchuuriki was a hard blow, but no harder than a variety of others. Besides, Konoha had lost theirs too, and wasn’t there a rumor that the one from Taki had also vanished shortly after Suna’s chunin exam? It wasn’t what they should have been focusing on. As much as she wished to see her brother again, it wasn’t in the best interest of the village to waste time and resources on the search.

But her father… if he had neither the village nor Gaara as his prime motivation, why was he so focused on finding him again?

She believed she could venture a guess, but she needed to hear it from him.

She needed to hear from him. She needed to talk to her father. He couldn’t just… They had never talked. About Gaara, about their mother, about the future of the village. She had so many things to ask him, and to lay on him too, resentment and accusations that had built up over the years like sand slowly rising over the empty ruins of her distant childhood, when she had been happy, for a while.

He couldn’t leave like this. It wasn’t fair. He had no right. He had to fix this mess, he had to talk to her. She had to talk to him. To tell him that she didn’t approve, that she thought he was wrong and had thought so many times in the past. She should have said it sooner. She should have said _something_.

And she would. Starting now she wouldn’t stay silent anymore, she wouldn’t grit her teeth and bear the council’s bullshit when she knew they were wrong and half the people around the table thought so too. She would stand up to her father, she would call him out, she would…

He had to hear her out.

The door opened.

The light was still on – out came stumbling a haggard medic-nin, a lithe man with shaved hair and clear eyes. Temari started walking in order not to betray how she had been standing motionless and spacing out in the middle of the corridor, but she had to change course when the man swayed on her feet. Temari caught him before he fell.

“I’m sorry, it’s been…”

The man trailed off when he looked up, when he recognized who he was talking too. He struggled upward, trying for a bow.

“My apologies, Temari-sama.”

There was no mistaking the uncertain fear in his voice.

Temari ground her teeth together to reign in on her rising frustration. The Yondaime Kazekage wasn’t a cruel or unjust man, he wasn’t a tyrant either, he seldom got angry. And yet he inspired fear more than respect, he always had. The people from Suna had a reputation for being austere, but it stemmed mainly from their leadership, who were the sternest of them all. Her father was intransigent and unsmiling, far more generous with critiques than compliment.

And of course, he was also the father of the beast. As she was its sister. Temari didn’t have much of a public presence, more focused for now on administrative duties. And yet they all knew her, of her.

And as they feared her brother, and her father, so they feared her too.

“What is the situation?” she asked in her commander’s voice, since that’s what she was here, to that man. She didn’t miss the grimace, the flicker of doubt as he pondered what the best answer was. But the medic-nin had more of a backbone that it seemed – he was determined when he spoke next, almost challenging.

“We did our best. We are maintaining the jutsu until his vital signs improve.”

If they ever did.

“But we… More of us could do more. And maybe…”

Temari remembered then, when she had seen him before. She remembered that council meeting, a few months ago. The medic-nin arguing their case – they were understaffed and undertrained, behind on their skills compared to other villages. Especially Konoha of course, who had spared no resources on the matter since the appointment of the Sanin princess as its Godaime.

Remembered the council voting, not unanimously, but still with a comfortable majority, voting that issue not to be a priority. Deciding they had other matters to focus on, better use of their funding and focus.

Remembered the medic-nin storming out, furious and defeated.

She wondered if the man thought this was deserved then. But it was mean-spirited of her to lend him such petty feelings, as it wasn’t how these people tended to think.

Yet had he been feeling vindictive, he would have been in the right.

“I see,” Temari answered lamely, hit once again with the full force of how powerless she was in this scenario.

She would never become a medic-nin, she had no desire to, but had she spoken out back at that meeting, had she had the leverage to sway the council’s decision…

There were people in this world who could save her father. There were places where they would have had a better chance. But here and now, maybe he would die, and there was nothing to be done about it. The decision was in the past, already set in stone, and the past couldn’t be changed, no matter the amount of wishes and regrets.

They both turned to footsteps approaching to see Kankuro making his way down the corridor, Baki at his back. Temari could tell her brother was making a conscious effort to walk steady, even if he still had to be in pain, but there was no use telling him to rest some more. In times like this, she could relate to his need to move, to do something, even inane, even useless.

“We just heard from some of the scouts. The Konoha nin engaged with the enemy. Another one of their team should be on the way, and some of ours need assistance.”

Things were handled here for now – people had their orders and purpose, and the head jounin could see to any issues that would arise. She was losing her mind staying idle.

“Let’s go.”

She took a few steps after them before remembering the medic-nin. He was still unsteady on his feet, but he stood to attention when Temari focused back on him.

“Please, just… keep doing your best.”

For a moment she feared she had offended the man, but maybe she sounded as desperate and pleading as she felt, because she only got a firm nod as an answer.

.

That _idiot._

“Reel her back in!” Karin yelled to the Suna girl. She didn’t know her name and she couldn’t care less. The girl hesitated, looking back at Gaara with clear worry on her face. Her devotion was commendable, but if she didn’t do what she was told, Karin was going to break her nose.

“Just do it! I’ll take care of it!”

That _idiotic girl_ and her idiotic sense of duty – no wonder she was Naruto’s friend. Sakura dying here was absolutely out of the question, especially now, without Naruto meeting with her again even once. He would never get over it, and Karin wouldn’t either, by extension. No one was dying here today, save from that Deidara asshole.

Mercifully, the Suna girl obeyed. The rope of her _johyo_ wrapped around Sakura’s waist and she pulled as hard as she could, bending the girl in half.

Served her right.

The clay squirrel flew after her, close, but far enough. Sakura crashed at their feet. Karin signed. No time for clones.

“Violet Flames Barrier Dome!”

The barrier rose seconds before the bomb detonated. Just a few centimeters away from her face, but with the strength of her shielding to stand between them – the blast shook the ground around them, toppled trees and flung dirt everywhere. They were uprooted from their spot, sent flying a few meters away. But the barrier held, with the four of them safe inside.

Karin let it fall as soon as she safely could, exhausted beyond belief. Holding up the dome on her own was more taxing than spreading out the flow between her clones, and she had several hours of that to recover from already.

“Are you alright?” Sakura asked. She had the gall to look concerned. Karin shoved her away.

“Don’t go throwing your life away you dumbass! You don’t get to die, do you hear me?”

The girl stared, dumbstruck, and Karin felt the urge to punch her. Really, she and Naruto deserved each other. She was ready to bet the third one was just as bad. Why couldn’t they think about their own ass for a change?

“You won’t be able to keep that up for long, will you?” the man snarled. He wasn’t wrong.

He put up his two palms in front of him, had them churn out that disgusting clay again – it had to be covered in slob right? What a freak.

The mouths combined, it was going to be a huge one.

“I have an idea,” Sakura said. She stopped there, obviously not about to elaborate. Fine then. She could do her things, see if Karin cared.

Damn, she did. But she was also useless here.

Sakura planted her sword in the ground behind her. She put her hands behind her back, grabbed one of her wrists, and, as far as Karin could tell, started concentrating chakra in her other palm.

Above them, the mass of clay was shaping itself into another squirrel, twice as big as the previous one.

“I can shield us again,” Karin said, though she wasn’t that confident her barrier would be strong enough. Sakura ignored her, putting two fingers up in a seal in front of her face, eyes closed in concentration. Whatever she planned on doing, would she be faster than the man’s creations?

She put a foot against the flat of her sword. She jumped.

She jumped, but she also stayed where she was. The man didn’t launch his explosive, despite Sakura speeding straight toward it.

He couldn’t see her, Karin realized suddenly. The genjutsu was rough, but it was enough to trick him, enough that he missed her jumping toward him. Enough to catch him entirely by surprise when she tore through the clay with a jutsu Karin had never seen before, the chakra in her palm dense and spiraling, obliterating the creation.

So close to him, he wouldn’t risk detonating it. He piled in more clay to stop her track, but even if the jutsu was exhausted when she broke through, she could still punch him in the face.

He was sent flying back, the girl hot on his tail to press in her advantage, to make the best of finally being within arm’s reach. Her taijutsu was better than his.

But he still had his weapons. And he needed only a second to command them.

A dozen of clay birds fell from the tree above them. Not toward Sakura, but toward Karin and Gaara and the Suna girl and Karin had a few kunai but she also had terrible aim, and the Suna girl didn’t look confident that she could do anything about it either. Sakura was too far away. Karin went to put up her barrier, when she noticed the rat. A fucking clay rat looking up at her with its stupid face, right in front of her feet. She kicked it away with a shriek, and that was enough of a delay. The birds were too close, she wouldn’t have time…

From above her in the trees came out a swarm of kunai, one to each bird, taking them out with deadly precision. They exploded at the other end of the clearing, out of reach.

The man used the distraction to get out of the range of Sakura’s fists, but he looked supremely annoyed at the new development, that came in the form of another Konoha kunoichi, who leapt from the tree to land next to Karin. She had dark hair tied into two high buns and didn’t care to turn around and show her face. Sakura took her briefly in her arms when she regrouped with them, relief clear on her face.

“Team Gai’s here to the rescue,” the girl said with a laughing voice.

Karin hated her already.

.

The Iron Sand gathered in an ominous mass above their head, before exploding in a hundred deadly spears, planting themselves in the ground like the roots of a giant tree. Chiyo shielded herself with the remnants of her puppets, but the boy…

That he hadn’t been impaled by one was a short relief – the iron tendrils had cut deeply through his clothes and skin in several places.

He collapsed.

“You poisoned the iron,” Chiyo said, not bothering phrasing it as a question. Sasori never passed on an occasion to weaponize his arsenal as much as possible – blades, poisons, projectiles, traps, chakra, all piling up on top of the other, his enemies never good enough to avoid all of them.

“Don’t worry, grandmother, I won’t leave him to suffer a painful death.”

He launched the Sandaime’s puppet at the boy.

Chiyo was trapped in the iron forest, and could only watch, helpless, the facsimile of the man aiming its deadly blades at the paralyzed kid.

The scene was eerily familiar.

Asao was always a ruthless man.

She wasn’t as involved in the Third Shinobi War as she had been in the Second, but she still had numerous occasions to see him in action. That war became infamous for how young the children they sent to it were, years of pointless conflicts decimating the shinobi ranks until they had to pluck them straight out of the Academy.

She wondered if at some point someone had also hoped that it would maybe deter the enemy, to come face to face with children on the battlefield.

It hadn’t.

Asao wasn’t a cruel man, but nor was he an emotional one. Neither belligerent nor passive. He had led them to war because war was raging. He had killed children and seen the children of his village been killed in turn, and hadn’t been moved by either.

He had looked unsurprised, when Chiyo had told him it was the last fighting she would ever take part in. Unsurprised and maybe a little wistful, though it could be her own indulgence talking.

And then, just as the war had ended, he had suddenly disappeared. Sasori wasn’t twenty yet, but had just earned himself his nickname. He too had killed children. He too had been little affected by it.

They had kept at it after the war. They had never gone back from sending genin out on high stakes mission, something that wasn’t common when she was a genin herself, and even later. The Second War was a different sort of carnage – with a huge amount of civilians casualties and a minor country decimated.

To each their sin. Expect for her brother and her, so old yet still here, against all logic and reasoning, against common sense. Collecting crimes while the children kept on dying.

It was despicable of her, to think it would have improved when she had chosen to turn her back on it.

The child didn’t die though.

He sprung back on his feet just before the puppet was on him, he slammed the same lightning jutsu he had busted out earlier square on its face and blew it to pieces.

The Iron Sand melted away.

He was pretty banged up, but he was up on his two feet. He trotted obediently to her, green chakra at the tip of his fingers closing the cuts on his arms and legs as he went.

“Are you hurt?” he asked.

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking that?” she countered, since he didn’t wait and answer to heal the bruises on her arm anyway.

“Those injuries are minor. But I’m running out of chakra. And I only have one dose of antidote left, and it’s not effective for long.”

He was pale from blood loss and chakra exhaustion, yet he said that as if that wasn’t akin to issuing their death sentence, shaking the lone dose under her nose. _Teenagers._

“You made extra?”

“I figured it would come in handy. But there weren't enough herbs to do more."

She let the jab pass, if it even was one. She had not missed the pity on his face when he had been lead into the greenhouse. But was he wrong? It used to be far more stocked, back when she tended to it, but then…

“I am impressed,” Sasori said from the other side of the cave. The praise was genuine – he wasn’t one to shun talent, and the Uchiha boy had no shortage of it. But Sasori had barely fought, by his standards, while they were both exhausted. And she had no doubt he wasn’t done yet.

He had moved in front of the entrance of the cave. He was determined to see them die here.

“It’s been a while since I had to resort to fighting myself… but it’s not so bad. I want to show you this, grandmother. You were always the most supportive of my art.”

She had praised and encouraged him, hoping the passion for his craft would stimulate his shriveling heart, stricken a deathly blow by the death of his parents. She had taught him all she knew, had trained him, because she didn’t know how to communicate with him any other way, didn’t know how else to show her care. Her son had reproached her this once – “being a teacher is not the same as being a parent”. He still thought he would do a better job than her then. He had been killed shortly after, so he really couldn’t criticize her.

She supposed it was a good thing he and his wife weren’t here to witness what she was seeing now – Sasori unbuttoning his coat, to reveal why he still had the juvenile face of his youth. Then again, would they be here, had his parents not die? Was it already in him? What had turned him into this? Their death, the war, something wicked he was born with? They would never know. But it felt disingenuous to argue he was simply bad to his core. Sasori had been a good, obedient boy, serious and fair, loving. And now…

“A human puppet,” Sasuke whispered, vaguely disgusted. She could hardly blame him. There was nothing left of Sasori’s human body, except the heart shoved in the middle of his wooden chest. Weapons in place of intestines, weapons in place of his arms. The sight brought tears to her eyes, but she chased them away. To hell with sentimentality – it was pointless here.

Chiyo reached inside her weapon pouch. She grabbed the Chikamatsu Collection.

She had been the one to forbid its use, and then had lied to the village, claiming she had destroyed it. Asao had probably seen straight through it, he had to know she wouldn’t have the resolve, that despite what she said she was as weak to power as anyone else. She could justify it with a number of reasons, the fact remained that she had kept the scroll, and worse, she had been carrying it with her all this time. As if she knew – hoped? – she would use it again.

“Shirohigi, Chikamatsu’s Collection of Ten.”

An army of ten against one enemy, and that wasn’t even guaranteed to be enough. Were her fingers nimble enough now to play the ten of them at the same time? She was so old.

“As expected from you, grandmother. But you know, I have been to many battlefields.”

Sasori took out a scroll of his own, and she knew they had lost.

“Akahigi, Performance of a Hundred.”

The puppets filled the cave, forcing them to back down against one of the walls. They all looked different, of various ages and nationalities. How many had he snatched before they could have a chance to be buried, how many had he killed himself?

“I am sorry, Uchiha Sasuke. I don’t think we can defeat him.”

The boy frowned, greatly displeased. He still had fight in him, she knew. It wasn’t to say they couldn’t best Sasori. Maybe they could. But the cost would be too great. At this age, they couldn’t imagine they would lose, and die. It had to be fortunate, that he thought this way still, that he believed in the weight of his own fate, as young people did.

It didn’t change the fact that they were most likely going to die right here and there. She cursed herself for her arrogance, for thinking she could so easily beat Sasori. She had never wanted to admit how strong he was, stronger than her by any measure. She thought her experience would always make up for it, but Sasori had done nothing but hone his skills in the past decade, regardless of the bonds of moral and his own body, and what had she done?

He geared the puppets for battle. The earth shook.

The earth… shook.

The earth shook, and the walls, and the stone roof over their head. The earth shook and they raised equally puzzled gaze at the distant noise coming from above, sounding like…

The roof exploded inward, raining rocks and dirt on them. Chiyo and her young ally were relatively safe, close to the wall. Sasori’s puppets took most of the hits.

When the dust settled, the sun was beaming down on the inside of the cave, largely collapsed on itself, and in the middle of the rumbles stood a strange boy in a bright green jumpsuit and with an even brighter smile on his face. He had an orange Konoha band tied around his waist.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Rock Lee has arrived!"

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sasuke roll his eyes.

.

They sped through the forest, following the slithering light of Akiko’s tails as fast as they could.

No fast enough.

Naruto took care to lay the _hiraishin_ kunai on the way, carefully hidden so that they wouldn’t be discovered. This way they would be able to come back easily, but first they had to find the others.

Once again he cursed the limited range of the technique and his inability to track the kunai that he hadn’t set up himself. One day, he would make it so that his friends only had to carry one with them to be within his reach no matter the distance. For now, he could only rely on Akiko and her eyes, set on Karin miles and miles ahead.

 _We’re coming_ , he kept swearing to himself, and her, knowing she couldn’t hear him, but would be convinced of it all the same, and that he would _not_ let her down.

_We’re coming._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DAMN. That was hard. I hope y'all appreciate the dedication that made me re-read those chapters in the manga about 700 times. Some elements I lifted from there, some I made up, but I didn't make it as long lol or I would have given up on this mess altogether. 
> 
> Plot will resume next chapter with a the long-awaited feel-inducing we-so-happen-to-run-into-each-other-after-two-years scene :p I'm pretty excited to make it happen though it's also going to be a tough chapter to write. This is my lot now it seems. Also the zombies will make sense with the plot I swear.
> 
> PROMO TIME I started a naruto japanese folklore/modern fantasy au on my tumblr [here](https://inrainprose.tumblr.com/post/623440734528421888/yokai-student-exchange-masterpost), with tengu Sasuke and kitsune Naruto. Not planning on updating it on ao3 for now. Regular updates of 500-1k words with no real plot (for now, fingers crossed), mostly exploration of the yokai world in Kyoto. See you there or here in a few weeks :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No the summary is not a jab at how long it's been since last chapter lmao. Less than two months again! It's not THAT bad.
> 
> I thought I was gonna struggle bringing the word count up to standard and in the end this one is over 10k... and thus a whole mess as usual lol. I'm thinking about making slightly shorter chapter that I could post more often, but at the same time I have a rythm with those 10k chunks? We'll see. 
> 
> As I said on my tumblr I just moved and started to work in a new place so things are a bit all over the place. It's not all bad for you 'cause when I'm working a lot I also tend to write a lot, I'm kind of in the zone ^^ but right now I work more than anything else so, yeah. Update ain't gonna pick up for now.
> 
> BUT anyway, let's enjoy what we have! A big thanks to dancibayo for looking over this. Happy reading!

There was no doubt possible. 

Kakashi had grown up with those people. Back when he was a child, before that fateful mission, his father’s teammates were always at their house. Sharing meals, napping, training in the backyard. Most didn’t have a family of their own – he would only understand much later that his father and he were an exception. 

_After_ , there had been no more of it , of course. Some had made a nominal effort at reaching out to him, but he was the one to push them away. The world was at fault for what happened, and people were part of the world. He blamed them all – and _them_ especially. By the time he had turned around and decided to shift the blame solely on his father’s shoulders, so that he could go back into the world after all, it was too late. They had moved on, or they were dead. 

They were dead, there was no doubt. He had been to the funerals. Uzuki Miyako, victim of an ambush during a solo mission near the Ame border. And Maboroshi Kyosuke… 

Suicide. Six years after. 

Kakashi was at the funerals, yet he was facing both of them now. 

They didn’t seem to recognize him – he didn’t know if he ought to count it as a blessing or not. They didn’t seem to recognize much, truly, eyes empty and stubbornly quiet despite his calls. 

What sort of jutsu could do such a thing? 

There had been the grave robbing case, a few months back in the cemetery, but no bodies had been taken. That was what made it such a weird but trivial story – the dirt had been moved, some coffins opened, but nothing was missing, nothing taken. 

Besides, Kyosuke wasn’t buried at the shinobi cemetery. Just like Kakashi’s father wasn’t. They were in a remote corner of the civilian graveyard. 

He was fairly certain no one had bothered to check it. 

“Katon! Fire Bullets!” 

One thing was for sure, they had lost none of their abilities. 

His reluctance to attack them was starting to put him at a serious disadvantage, but he couldn’t just… he had to understand what was going on here. They weren’t being very cooperative though. Both were highly skilled jounin when they were alive, and he couldn’t subdue them so easily. 

A much more troubling issue arose rapidly though, when instead of dodging a Chidori aimed to her chest, Miyako just… stood there. She received the full force of the jutsu. Kakashi’s arm went all the way through her chest. 

There was no blood. No scream, no pain, no indication that the woman felt anything whatsoever. She didn’t blink an eye, and she didn’t waste time taking advantage of their position to try and crush his head between her palms. 

Once extracted, he watched the hole in her chest close slowly, leaving no trace on her greyish skin. 

That was going to be a problem. 

He was not outmatched yet, but he bled and he tired out, unlike his opponents, and more importantly, the distant explosions they could hear coming from deeper into the forest were growing increasingly louder. He needed to get back to his team, now wasn’t the time to get emotional. 

He centered his will around his left eye. 

Uchiha Tekka had made him swear he would keep their training and the ability to himself. Both because it was generally kept quiet, and specifically because there were still some among the Uchiha who believed Obito’s Sharingan should be returned to his clan. Uchiha Fugaku didn’t like Kakashi’s possession and use of it, but had always stood by the decision to respect Obito’s dying wish, while making it clear they would never support it. 

As for Tekka, he had never given an explanation as to why he was willing to go behind the clan’s back and actively teach him how to use it. It had taken years for Kakashi to open up to him about the evolution of the eye and the strange shape that would swirl in and suck up his chakra. 

Tekka had not looked surprised. 

The Mangekyo was still a drain, but he was getting better at handling it. And it was going to be very handy now. He was uncomfortable showing his cards like this, knowing that the two dead shinobi he was fighting had to be controlled by someone, somewhere. But he didn’t have much of a choice. 

Kyosuke was the first one to go. 

Kakashi’s aim was quite bad, but he wasn’t after finesse – as long as he could open up a hole close enough, wide enough… 

The air distorted around the man, sucking up the very space where he stood. In a few seconds, he was entirely gone. And Kakashi was very dizzy. 

But there was no time for that, as Miyako was on him again, saber ready. He knew her specialty to be Doton, specifically for ambushes and traps, but she was sticking to her saber and he couldn’t tell if she couldn’t use jutsu in her state, or if she knew it was ill-advised against him and his copying technique. By all account he was more vulnerable to close range kenjutsu, especially when he didn’t have a sword with him. 

He had a hard time dodging her attacks and focusing on his eye at the same time, until he finally managed to kick her away and turn the Mangekyo to her. 

She had caught on the first time – she managed to move enough that the hole didn’t snatch her entirely. Instead, it cut her body in half, most of her legs disappearing into thin air. 

As expected, though he would have preferred to be wrong, that didn’t stop her either. 

But it gave him the opening he needed to slap a binding seal on her forehead, hoping it would work against weird reincarnated corpses. It did – she fell inanimate, though her legs kept growing back. 

Kakashi stumbled, vision swimming. Someone caught him before he crashed on the ground. 

“Won’t you ever let me save you, my friend? I come all the way here to assist you, and look! Your enemies are all disposed of already!” 

Kakashi made no effort to regain balance or take any of his weight off of Gai’s grip. The man wouldn’t have let him anyway. 

“Don’t worry, you’re still gonna have to help me.” 

He didn’t have to look at his friend to picture his stupid, bright smile. 

“Wonderful!” 

Gai lowered him gently on the floor so that he could deal with Miyako’s body. He sealed it in a scroll, bringing it to Kakashi so that he could add an extra lock on the binding seal. 

“Are you with your team?” 

“Of course. They have gone to help your kids. We should join them.” 

He always said it like this. “Your kids”. Gai had been a jounin instructor for several years, and there was never an outing in the streets of Konoha that wasn’t interrupted by one of his former students greeting him enthusiastically. Gai had a kind word and a bright smile ready for all of them. He was constantly invited to weddings and birth celebrations. 

He had also gone to countless funerals. 

“Can you get up?” 

No doubt would the man offer to carry Kakashi on his back if the answer was no. Kakashi nodded. He could be the most stubborn of the two. 

Gai helped him to his feet, concern showing through his playful jabs. But it was far from the worse state he had seen Kakashi in. He always reacted to it the same, with his steady sympathy and gentle comfort, even when he knew Kakashi had been careless on purpose, even if it had to hurt him too, to see his friend like this. But Gai was incapable of passing judgment. His empathy and understanding extended to everyone and anyone, as did his indulgence and patience. Not that he had ever shied from telling Kakashi how heartbreaking was his lack of self-preservation. Gai had no capacity for emotional manipulation, and that was why it had worked – at the time where Kakashi was unable to care about his own well-being, making it his priority to not hurt his friend any further had no doubt saved his life. 

Nowadays, Gai was mostly exasperated at his blatant risk-taking tendencies. Because he didn’t fear it would lead him to an early grave anymore. Progress, progress. 

The Suna team ran into them just as they were ready to take off. The Kazekage’s children, their instructor, and a few more shinobi. They didn’t offer any new insights on the situation, and Kakashi postponed asking after Rasa’s status. 

They were urged on by a huge crash, reminiscing of a mountain-scaled Doton. 

The day was far from over. 

. 

Sasuke stabbed Lee in the thigh with one of the two remaining doses of antidote while the boy was busy standing on a rock and striking a cool pose. 

“Ouch! What was that?” 

“The enemy’s weapons are poisoned. This will give you five minutes of protection, but don’t take it as an immunity charm and be careful.” 

“Yes! Thank you Sasuke!” 

The Uchiha rolled his eyes in an over-exaggerated way, but the change in his demeanor was obvious. He was more relaxed now that the other Konoha boy was here, back to his calmer self. Chiyo wondered if this Rock Lee was that good, or if they were simply good friends. Could be a mix of both – the help was more than welcome either way. 

“There is only one left, so we have to end this quickly,” Sasuke said, falling into position by his friend’s side. 

Chiyo carefully hid the long gash running down her forearm. 

“You rest up! I’ll take care of those ugly dolls,” the green boy said, cracking his knuckles. Chiyo was about to put a word in, warn him it wouldn’t be so easy, but Sasuke stopped her. 

“Don’t bother,” he sighed, shaking his head in resignation. “He’ll be fine anyway.” 

“Here I come!” the boy yelled, quite idiotically. 

It soon appeared that being warned wouldn’t help Sasori much. 

The boy was incredibly fast. At first she thought he used some variation of the body flicker or another space jumping technique, but he wasn’t using any jutsu at all. He was just _that fast_ , body trained both for speed and strength, as he punched a puppet in the chest and tore it to pieces. 

It flew apart. Suna’s puppets were far from fragile, and Sasori’s even less so. Chiyo was experienced and observant enough to be sure that the boy wasn’t using any chakra whatsoever to enhance his body. It was just brute force and nothing else. 

By her side, Sasuke looked almost proud. 

Rock Lee quickly tore through most of what remained of Sasori’s army as Chiyo’s puppets took care of the rest, and the man didn’t manage to nick him once. 

“I like those dolls! Are there more?” the boy asked when he came back to their side, knuckles red and breathe shortened, but with a delighted smile on his face. 

“He’s just like that,” Sasuke said as an explanation, to her stricken expression. 

She was just too old to understand those dumb children. 

“There’s just this one left,” he claimed, pointing at Sasori. 

“Cool!” 

“No, wait…” 

Of course he didn’t listen, neither to Sasuke nor Chiyo. He was on the other side of the ruined cave in a heartbeat, not much impressed by the display of Sasori’s body, going as far as grabbing the cable unrolling from his abdomen to throw him around, and at last… 

One well-placed punch and this puppet, too, dislocated into pieces. The boy turned to them with a thumb up and a bright smile. 

“It won’t be enough!” she screamed. 

Already Sasori was reforming – Rock Lee barely avoided his next attack. 

“You have to destroy the core!” 

It had to be the last organic part of Sasori’s body. The heart, of what was left of it. He started chasing the boy around. Chiyo realized too late as they were coming nearer… Sasori changed course, running straight to her. 

He had the same face. He was so beautiful, he looked almost gentle like this, excited too, like when he wanted to show her one of his projects. She didn’t lift a finger. 

She didn’t account for the Uchiha boy. 

The blade coming for her went through him. Of course, _of course_ he had jumped between them, as stupid teenagers did with no regard for their own lives and the parents they were leaving to mourn. Was it something they were taught in training, to be so universally keen on it? Were they told it was expected of them, to sacrifice themselves, to die for the mission? 

Was it for the mission though, or was it for her, a desperate, pathetic little old lady he couldn’t help but want to protect? 

Sasori looked a little shocked. Sasuke recovered quicker than him. She realized, impressed, that he was healing himself around the blade – the blood was barely flowing, held in by his will and the green glow of his chakra. 

“Lee!” 

The boy materialized behind Sasori. He punched him straight through the chest. 

Sasori’s core flew out of his chest cavity and hit Sasuke square on the face. 

Sasori stumbled backward, taking his sword with him. Sasuke fell to the ground, grabbing at the core out of reflex, Lee stepped back, confused. 

Sasori spotted the core in Sasuke’s hands, but he didn’t try to get it. On the verge of death, with so few options left, he made his choice. 

He raised his blade to Chiyo’s face. Finally. Finally. 

“Die!” 

“ _Sasori_ _!_ ” 

The tip of the blade stopped, suspended in the air, a few centimeters away from her face. 

They both turned to the origin of the voice. To Rasa’s children standing above them on the split rocks, dumbstruck. There were others too, from Suna and Konoha both, but Chiyo couldn’t look away. 

They had changed, unlike Sasori. He looked the same as in the memories where they were barely a meter tall, running in his legs and asking to be shown some puppet tricks. Kankuro especially – he had taken up the art because of his cousin. Had tried to turn to her after he was gone, but she had no patience nor will to teach anyone anymore, especially children. 

They landed by their side, still shocked. Sasori was unnaturally still, his blank, frozen face turned to the kids further than his neck should have permitted. 

“Temari. Kankuro.” 

His tone was almost conversational. Kankuro took a step forward. 

Sasuke ran a kunai through the core. 

Just like that, the light went out of Sasori’s inhuman eyes. He fell, limp and lifeless, at Chiyo’s feet. 

Once again, death was stubbornly avoiding her. Once again, she had to survive as her family died. 

. 

Having a long-range weapon specialist sure changed the tide of the fight. 

Of course, Tenten was also great at short range. Sakura really wanted to practice kenjutsu with her, once all of this was over. 

She wondered when that would be though. She wondered what would have happened by then, when they were back home. What the next few hours would bring. 

The girl’s projectiles made the threat of Deidara’s bomb far easier to deal with, to the man’s growing rage. Sakura was anxious to finish the fight, fearing he would do something drastic if he lost it entirely. He was running low on clay, having to scrape the bottom of his satchels for the remaining bits. There was no telling was he would do once it was gone. 

Tenten blocked his path when he tried to flee. He turned around hastily. 

Straight into Sakura's sword. She slashed the blade down on him, though he managed to jump back and escape the bite of the steel. She saw the satisfaction on his face, of managing to evade her yet again. It lasted but a split second. 

His arm detached from his body. 

It was almost comical, the surprise on his face as he failed to understand what was happening. She had kept the chakra extension of her blade purposefully short so that he wouldn’t notice, so that he would feel confident about the range he had to avoid. 

So that she could trick him into thinking he could easily stay out of her reach. 

“You fucking bitch!” 

He flickered away – she kept on his tail, pressing her advantage. He wouldn’t be able to hold on for long with such a wound. 

He dropped to the ground. He manages to scrape off some more clay, but instead of feeding it to the hands in his mouth, he ate it directly. 

“Well, kiddos. You’re in for quite the performance. I hope you'll enjoy it." 

His body started to contort and swell, like… 

“Shit! Run!” 

She dashed toward the others, but there was no time, it was… 

The guy freaking _exploded_. 

Sakura got a glimpse of the fire and smoke rushing to tore her to piece before her sight was blocked by… 

Sand? 

“It’s about time you fucking woke up, Gaara.” 

Despite her words, Karin sounded nothing but relieved. 

. 

“Are you okay, Sasuke?” 

“…Shouldn’t I be the one to ask that?” 

Kakashi could barely stand, leaning heavily against Maito Gai who seemed weirdly smug about that. Sasuke couldn’t say he was at the top of his game either – healing the sword wound had taken out what little chakra he still had and he was shaking with exhaustion and blood loss. 

He finished checking up on the man – he wasn’t hurt, but his chakra was depleted to the point of alarm and his whole chakra system had been shocked, suggesting he had spent most if not all of it in one go. He remained vague about what happened though, claiming they didn’t have time for a debrief. He wasn’t wrong – Sakura was still out there. They needed to move. 

He didn’t feel like it was his place to speak up though. First, because they were still on Suna’s territory and here to assist them, and they were the ones supposed to call the shots. But mostly because Gaara’s siblings were obviously going through something and it felt rude to interrupt. 

For a fleeting moment, Sasuke had thought Temari was going to attack him for dealing Sasori the finishing blow. He didn’t know what was the link between them, but since he was Old Chiyo’s grandson and a deserter from their village, it was probable they had known him in their childhood. 

There was little left of the man now but scattered pieces of machinery and wood and his perfect, blank face. Kankuro set some of the Suna shinobi to collect it all, including the rests of the puppet army – it would take them a while. 

A massive explosion shook them all out of their indecision. 

They didn’t have the luxury to mourn and lament – they took off toward the forest, the heavy smoke a beacon to both their enemies and their allies. 

And their target, he supposed. 

When they finally reached the clearing, the smoke had dispersed, and the scene wasn’t what he was expecting at all. 

There was no trace of the Akatsuki member. There were only Sakura, Tenten and the Suna girl, Matsuri, on one side, and Gaara and the red-haired girl on the other. 

Gaara was awake, but he looked weak, and the sand dancing around him was sluggish, disarrayed. 

_Poisoned_ , Sasuke recognized immediately. Most likely the same poison they had been dealing with, courtesy of Sasori. Gaara was still strong enough to shield himself and his companion, but they both stiffened when they saw the newcomers – that would be too much to handle for them. 

“What happened?” he asked Sakura once he had joined her. He took her arm, started to work on the burns and blisters littering her skin, the consequences of an explosion coming too close no doubt. Fortunately, the damage wasn’t too deep – he still had enough strength to help her. 

“We… We fought that man, Deidara. But he blew himself up. And now…” 

She looked lost, distressed. She kept darting looks at Gaara and the girl, entrenched on the other side of the clearing. 

_“_ _We fought that man._ ” They had no doubt helped each other out against their common enemy. But that didn’t mean they were on the same side. And now… 

“Gaara.” 

Temari choked on the name, but when she took a step forward, the jounin, Baki, stopped her, hand on her shoulder and a warning look on her face. For a second Sasuke thought she was going to tell him off. But she followed his cue. 

“Gaara. You need to come back to Suna with us,” the man said. Though he didn’t manage to put in quite the conviction that would imply he actually believed in that possibility. 

The boy was sitting on the ground, maybe too weak to stand, his friend by his side. His expression was very cold. 

“Why?” 

His people had no answer. 

“That poison is lethal,” Sasuke stepped in. “You won’t be able to find a cure in time.” 

“Because there is no good medic outside of your village?” the girl shot back. 

“It’s not so simple!” 

“Jinchuuriki don't die from this kind of thing," Gaara declared steadily. The Suna shinobi stiffened at hearing it mentioned so casually. 

“You can’t be sure,” Sasuke insisted, though he had no idea why. Pretending it was in the boy’s best interest to go back to Suna was absurd and surely doomed to fail. 

“Don’t you have some antidote left?” 

All heads turned to Matsuri, their Suna guide. She reddened and ducked her head, embarrassed, as her superiors glared her down, furious. Gaara’s friend scoffed. 

“I wonder what it will take for you to give it to us,” she snarled. 

“Gaara. Come back with us, please. We can fix this, I swear.” 

It was painful to hear Temari talk about and to her brother. Her pain was familiar – she wanted him back to her, but whatever she did, it wouldn’t happen. Sasuke could almost guess what the boy would say next. 

“I would rather die.” 

He certainly meant it to. There was quite the shift in the air between them, as they slowly came to accept this wouldn’t get resolved peacefully. Sand gathered around the two rogue shinobi – if they were ready to die, they were also ready to take their opponents down with them. They all squared up, prepared for a fight, but then… 

But then. But then. 

They materialized out of thin air, on a low branch behind Gaara and the girl. Two masked shinobi, with no visible affiliation to any hidden village. But there was no mistake possible. Sasuke could only speculate about the second one and their dark hair, but the first… 

“Naruto,” Sakura whispered. It carried in the heavy silence of the clearing. 

He lifted the mask – always the same, Haku’s mask, still engraved with its “monster” kanji on the forehead, but with a new addition. Under the right eye, another kanji. 

The number nine. 

Under the mask, the face was the same – though the hair was a little longer, the skin a little more tanned, the lines a little deeper. 

The eyes a lot colder, when they landed on them. 

“No one here is dying.” 

. 

Naruto remained motionless as Neji dropped to the ground next to Gaara and Karin, face hard but hands gentle when he fussed over the other boy. Tenten gasped softly when he lifted his mask too, but he didn’t spare a glance to his teammates. 

His forehead was bare. The seal was gone. 

“Are you okay?” Naruto asked from above them, voice warmer, full of worry. 

“I’m dead on my feet, but I’ll be fine,” Karin said, stubborn, despite the injuries Sakura knew she had sustained. “He’s been poisoned though. I guess Shukaku is battling it for now, but I don’t know if it’ll be enough. It was probably designed with this in mind.” 

“Can you do something about it?” 

“…Maybe.” 

Her expression told a different story. She was aware there was a chance they couldn’t come up with a cure, as Sasuke had said, even if she was too proud to admit it. 

“They can though,” she added, pointing a finger to the other shinobi group. She didn’t look at them though. Neither did Naruto, as if they weren’t even there, as if they were irrelevant. 

Sakura felt her anger rise. 

Naruto deigned to turn his attention to them then. She couldn’t help but catalog the changes, the threats – he had a long staff strapped to his back, that could have been bamboo except for the off-white color, as if it had been washed out. A row of scrolls stored in his belt. He was wearing a patterned haori, red shorts, sandals. Still no sense of style. 

His forehead protector was nowhere to be seen. 

“I don’t want to fight you,” he declared loudly. The way he talked, the way his companions listened – was he the leader of that little band? Was that was they were seeing? She couldn’t imagine Neji, nor Karin for that matter, deferring to him so easily. And yet, here they were. 

“You won’t have a choice,” Kankuro retorted, heated. The Suna shinobi’s focus had shifted – Naruto was an easier target than Gaara in their mind. They could even blame him, she was sure, for their jinchuuriki’s departure. 

By her side, Sasuke tensed up. This could get out of hand really fast. 

Sakura was quite lost. 

Who was who’s enemy here? Suna and Konoha were decent allies these days, but it’s not like they would go to war for each other either. Naruto and Gaara were wanted by their village, but there wasn’t a price on their head, they weren't designated as public enemies. Yet. 

Gaara, his sand, had protected her. Karin too. “You don’t get to die”, the girl had said. 

Who were they supposed to fight? Why? 

“Let’s just get out of here. We can sort this out ourselves,” Karin said, looking more nervous by the minutes. Relatable, as Sakura wanted nothing more than for all of this to be over too – without having to go through what it would take to get there. 

She couldn’t take her eyes off Naruto, though he did his best not to look at her. It soon became clear that it was deliberate. He didn’t want their gaze to meet. He similarly avoided the others. 

What would she see, she wondered, if she looked into his eyes? She wanted to yell at him, to grab his head to force his attention on her. 

_“What have you been up to? Are you okay?_ “she burned to ask. 

_Did you miss us_ _?_ _We missed you so much._

He seemed to be doing fine. 

“Please,” Temari said. “Give up. You don’t stand a chance.” 

Gaara was still mostly out of commission – it was just three of them against their whole party, with Karin not much of an offensive weight, and Naruto and Neji’s skills transparent enough to the Konoha nin. They wouldn’t all be able to escape. 

“Won’t you give it to us?” 

Naruto sounded pleading now. But resigned too, as if he already knew the answer. As if he had so little faith in them and their choice. 

She realized, mortified, that he was right. 

It was obvious there was no convincing any of them to surrender themselves and go back where they belonged. It was obvious they would have to fight this out. But she had a hard time believing it. Was it that horrible a prospect, to be brought back to Konoha, that Naruto would rather go to war against them? That he would truly defy both villages and their whole group, when they were clearly outnumbered and when this couldn’t end in anything but a horrible disaster? 

Couldn’t he ever give up? 

Just as the tension was reaching its highest point, just as it was about to break… It did. But not in a way anyone expected. 

Matsuri, who had been standing in Sasuke’s back, took three steps forward and threw something at the other group. At first Sakura feared it was an explosive or poison, but Neji caught it in one swift move and held it between his fingers with a puzzlement shared equally by all present. 

It was the antidote vial. 

“Gaara-sama, run!” 

The scene descended into chaos as she managed to break a smoke bomb before two Suna chunin tackled her to the ground. Sakura tried not to lose sight of Sasuke – they had to move, they had to protect Naruto. 

Protect him? From what, from who? 

Catch him? 

She didn’t know anymore. 

“We need to go after them!” a voice yelled from somewhere in the fog. Someone grabbed Sakura’s arm – it was Kakashi, dragging Sasuke with him. 

“Let’s go.” 

“But, the others…” 

“We have no friends here for now.” 

She recoiled, but he was right, they had no way of deciphering the true intentions of the people around them, who could turn allies or enemies in a blink. 

They needed to reach Naruto. She had no idea what they would do when they did, but they had to. 

Pakkun led them on their tail, through the forest and away from the clearing. The ones from Suna would recover from the confusion soon enough. They had to hurry. 

Kakashi was weakened from his fight – Sakura and Sasuke went ahead, although they weren’t in the best form either. But none of them were. 

The Konoha nin managed to catch up just at the edge of the woods. 

“Naruto! STOP.” 

Sakura’s voice rang loudly in the still, eerie air of the forest. Naruto froze. His mask was still up – when he turned around, he finally deigned to meet their eyes. 

“What do you want?” he asked. Demanding – almost accusing. Karin and Neji were staring too, face set in grim resentment. Gaara was looking at Naruto. 

Sakura was at a loss for an answer. 

Sasuke stepped in, eyes glued to their friend’s face, hands raised just a little, like he itched to reach out. 

“Are you alright?” 

Judging from his face, that wasn’t what Naruto expected to hear, nor anyone else. 

But of course, that was what Sasuke wanted to know. That was all he cared about. The question always on his mind, the one that had been eating away at him ever since that terrible day when Naruto walked away from them. 

Neji laid a hand on Naruto’s shoulder. 

“We’re leaving,” he said firmly, pulling toward him. 

“No!” 

She didn’t mean to scream again. Naruto’s face hardened. 

“You’re just going to disappear like this? You owe us an explanation!” 

“I don’t owe you _anything_.” 

She recoiled at the hardness of his tone. There were noises coming from behind her – Team Gai getting closer, she believed. The Suna nin were sure to follow. 

“Let us go.” 

“Nothing will happen. You don’t have to…” 

“Let us go!” 

“No!” 

It lasted but a second. 

A kunai appeared at her feet – atypical, with three points. The next moment Naruto materialized in front of Sasuke and her. He slammed his palm against their chest, hard enough to knock the breath out of them. Another heartbeat, he was back by his companions’ side. 

Sakura looked at his hands, the seal, and she knew what he was going to say. 

“Fuuinjutsu. Heartbreaker Seal.” 

Time froze above their head. 

Sakura’s chest constricted and her throat closed around her breathe. Her vision blurred for a moment, so much that she could barely make out the harsh expression on Naruto’s face anymore. 

She remembered perfectly the effect of that seal, but she couldn’t process it, couldn’t believe. Naruto wouldn’t… 

A few seconds passed, a few more. She still felt like she was dying, but it had more to do with the panic, she realized. Naruto’s hand was still up in a seal. By her side, Sasuke stood dumbstruck, arms hanging, but he was still up too. 

“If you make to follow us,” Naruto said, threatening, “I’ll trigger it. Please don’t test me.” 

It was too much. It was too hard to believe, Sakura didn’t want to. 

She didn’t move, because she was too scared to find out if it was true. If Naruto would really go this far. If this was really where they stood now. She didn’t want to believe it, and yet… 

It was pure instinct. Sasuke made to take a step forward, and she held him back. 

. 

It was Naruto. It was Naruto. It was him, right here. It was two years since the last time they saw each other, since he heard anything from him at all. And he was here, right here. 

Sasuke looked at him, and his heart ached so fiercely, it could have been the boy’s seal at work. By the time Sasuke caught up to what Naruto had said, to the technique he had used, it was clear the seal wasn’t acting up. Sasuke barely gave it a thought – Naruto was _right here_. 

But when he tried to reach out, to go after him, Sakura stopped him, a firm hand on his shoulder. 

He didn’t understand at first, the hard look on her face, why she tightened her grip when he tried to get away. But when he asked, “what are you doing?”, he had figured it out. She didn’t answer – she didn’t need to. 

He pulled harder and the hand on his shoulder grew firm enough to hurt. 

“Sakura!” 

“Don’t move!” 

She couldn’t be serious. This couldn’t be happening. She looked back at Naruto with such resentment, such hurt. But she couldn’t seriously believe… 

“Thank you,” Naruto said. He turned away, the others following. It seemed that was the way – he walked in front. He lead. 

They left. They vanished, actually. Here one moment, gone the next. 

No. _No._

“Let me go!” 

“You can’t go after him!” 

“He won’t hurt me.” 

“You don’t know that!” 

He knew. He knew. He had nothing to fear from him, Naruto wouldn’t… 

“How can you say that? How can you think…” 

“He has other people to protect now, Sasuke!” 

That gave him a pause. 

Gaara of the desert, and the girl Karin. Naruto had not been spotted anywhere, by anyone, for two years, but he had come all this way for them. To help them, to save them. And Hyuuga Neji… it wasn’t much of a surprise, but it was still jarring, to see him here, with Naruto, to see that he was part of this. 

What would Naruto choose? If it came to it, if they were cornered, what would happen? What would they do? 

_Thank you._

Sasuke always ended up doing as Naruto wished, didn’t he? 

“But he’s… he’s _right here_.” 

It had dulled a little, over time. But it was hitting back full force now. How much Sasuke wanted to see him. To talk to him, to hear his voice and to see his face, to be close to him, to have him near, at eyes and arm’s reach. Naruto was so close now. 

“I know. But he’s not… He’s not here for us.” 

And oh, how that hurt. 

Naruto wasn’t here for them. Worse, they were a hindrance, they were in his way, and he would even… 

He wouldn’t. Would he? 

Sasuke didn’t know anymore. 

. 

They searched the whole area, to no avail. Temari wanted to tear the whole forest down, but they soon had to face the truth. There was no trace of the group left. They had effectively vanished. 

“You said he used a three-pointed kunai, right?” Kakashi asked his students. Sakura nodded. Sasuke seemed out of it – full of rage or despair, it was hard to tell. 

“It’s a space-time ninjutsu,” the man explained. “If Naruto does have the ability to use it, they are already far away, and untraceable.” 

“You think it’s the _hiraishin_?” Old Chiyo asked. He nodded, and if Temari had no idea what that was, recognition flashed on Baki’s face and a few of the older shinobis’. 

“Most likely. Or a variation.” 

“There is no point in staying here then. They’re gone.” 

Temari wanted to scream. 

Instead, she stalked toward Matsuri. 

The girl was kneeling on the ground, hands bound behind her back and a chunin holding a blade to the nape of her neck. Temari grabbed the collar of her shirt, lifted her so that they were face to face. She took vindictive satisfaction in the fear playing on the girl’s face, but even now, it was clear she wasn’t repentant, nor remorseful. She hadn’t acted rashly, she wasn’t being manipulated or suffering a brief lapse of judgment. 

“Why? Why did you do that? Answer me!” 

She had stayed stubbornly silent until now, but she would talk now that Gaara was far away, now that she had reached her goal. Was she a spy, a traitor? But who would she be working for then? 

She wouldn’t meet Temari’s eyes. 

“I-I-I-” 

Temari shook her once, just in case she thought about keeping quiet after all. 

“I repay kindness.” 

Temari scoffed. Getting a Path quoted at her face was certainly the last thing she expected. 

“What kindness could that be?” 

“Do you… think Gaara-sama to be unkind?” 

Temari dropped the girl in a blink. Matsuri stumbled and nearly fell over, destabilized by the sudden shove and her still bond hands. 

Only then did Temari managed to place back the girl in her memories. A survivor from one of the desert tribes, trained like the rest of them as a shinobi, though she had little talent for it. Two years ago, she was an unpromising genin. 

She had been assigned as one of Gaara’s guards. 

His room was warded and sealed and no one could enter it any more than he could leave it. The guards were mostly for show, a weak attempt at getting him some contact, however small, with the outside world. Most of them blew off that particular duty. No one cared. 

Temari would walk up to the room, when she felt brave enough. When the guards were gone, she even attempted to talk to him, though he rarely answered. When they were still at their post, she turned back before they could spot her. 

That was where she had seen the girl. Sometimes standing, sometimes seating by the door. Sleeping, a few times. 

She was one of the guards knocked out when Gaara had fled the village, all of them put to sleep by a seal slapped on their neck. They had been interrogated, but no one had seen anything. 

“Were you in contact with him? Do you know where he went?” 

“We just-just talked. He helped me. He was kind. I…” 

There was no way she was lying, with her gullible face and wavering voice. 

_He helped me. He was kind._

_We just talked. We just talked._

As if there was anything “just” about that. 

As if he hadn’t spent those few months in near-complete mutism, withdrawn and unreachable. As if Temari hadn’t tried her hardest to connect to him, and failed miserably. And that girl… 

Then again, it made sense, didn’t it? She was the one to let him go in the end. He had chosen well. What had Temari done for him? 

What did she plan to do just then? Bring Gaara back? Put him back in that room? 

What else could they do? 

They locked the girl in one of Kankuro’s puppets, to be jailed and questioned in the village. She was crying quietly, but she didn’t protest nor beg. Temari had a few memories of her stammering over her words as she was mocked by the rest of her class. They said she was scared of weapons. For a coward, she had shown impressive strength. 

Far more than Temari, at any rate. 

She didn’t know what she was hoping for. That he would return to them? But why would he do that? What incentive did he have, what was she offering her little brother that would make him want to come home? Just because it was his place, his role, his fate… 

A fate he had decided to go against. And since she was part of it… 

She wondered how much he hated her. 

. 

“Well then, I guess there’s no need wasting any more time here," Chiyo concluded. 

The fever was rising and all her joints were starting to ache fiercely. It would soon be difficult to move at all, let alone run. 

Pathetically enough, she wanted to see her brother one last time. 

“You’re hurt.” 

Sasuke grabbed her wrist before she could escape his overbearing care. The cut on her forearm was bleeding again, the skin sickly swollen and oozing. He gasped softly, taken aback. 

“That’s… what… why didn’t you say anything?” 

He drew the attention of the others of course, exactly what she was trying to avoid. 

“We need to go back now. We need to…” 

"You know it is of no use. I don't have as much time as Kankuro had.” 

The poison soaking Sasori’s weapon was far more potent, more concentrated probably. His intent in poisoning Kankuro was to lure Gaara out, it had to be slow going. No such qualms in combat. She was still up solely because she was regulating her circulation, but it wouldn’t last. She was doomed, and they both knew it. 

“Why didn’t you ask for the antidote? It would have bought us time, enough to…” 

“I figured someone else might need it. I was right, wasn’t I?” 

It was kind of ironic, but well-fitting too, that she had foregone the saving cure to the profit of Rasa’s youngest child, the sacrificed jinchuuriki of Suna. Even if he was maybe the most deserving of a mercy killing… Or was he? He had gone to follow his own path, he had joined his fate with the Kyuubi’s host. She would almost feel regretful, that she wouldn’t get to see what would come of it. 

But she was so tired. 

“Why?” Sasuke asked, voice broken. She smiled sadly at him. He couldn’t understand, he was so young, so undamaged still. He was ready to throw himself in front of danger, to protect his friends and those he deemed weaker than him, but he knew little of regrets. Of the pain of the living, of longing for some rest, at last. 

“I atone,” she said. She had been surprised to hear a Path fall from young Matsuri’s lips – few were the younger ones who still abide by the old faith. Though she seemed to be native of the desert, and they were still the most fervent, however few of their tribes left. _I repay kindness_ , she had said. And Chiyo? Chiyo had to atone. 

She was responsible for it all. Sasori’s decay, her fault. Gaara’s life chained to the Ichibi, her fault. The worst of her offenses, for she was well aware her seal mastery wasn’t up to the task of sealing the Biju. She had done it anyway. Rasa had nothing to pressure her with, she couldn’t hide behind that excuse. Why had she agreed then, why go along? 

Well, why not? She did not care. He asked, she complied. The challenge was almost exciting, she had no concern for the child, or the future of the village. 

She was at fault. It was only fair. 

The trip back was a blur. Baki had to carry her as they crossed the vast expanse of the desert. The sight had always soothed her, unlike the ugly shape of Suna rising above the sand, the long shadows it cast all around it. 

She wouldn’t get to see it again. 

. 

The old woman died. 

It was inevitable and there was nothing Sasuke or anyone could do to prevent it. It was still a shock. 

The others didn’t notice right away, except probably the jounin who was carrying her. Sasuke saw, because Sasuke was a medic – he had seen many people die and dead, and he was monitoring her condition as best as he could while running the desert. 

It never failed to fascinate him – one moment she was still here, still tethered to this world, among the living. The next, she was gone. 

There were no warning signs, nothing of note happened. Nothing showed, when the soul left the body, when it went from warm and alive to empty and dead. This process was irreversible, the whole of their knowledge and expertise could do nothing against it. The old woman died. She was now dead. And there was nothing that could be done to undo that. 

They crossed through the gates of Suna. Sasuke thought about just a few hours ago, when they had gone out, when they couldn’t possibly know what was waiting for them. Sasuke knew the future now. He knew what came next. 

They would fail. One member of the Akatsuki dead, the other presumed so, but Old Chiyo dead too, and the jinchuuriki of Suna still at large, and Naruto… 

Naruto, closer and further away than he had ever been. 

They crossed the gate and knew right away that the trials of the day were yet to relent. 

Sasuke had come with no care for Suna and their trouble – he did his duty, as a shinobi of his village and a medic, but their issues were not his. And yet… 

Tsunade often told him he was too emotional. She didn’t exactly brand it as a bad thing, but he understood why it concerned her. He still remembered vividly the first time they had lost a patient in the operation room – how despite the surgery and the medical jutsu they had kept up for hours, the chunin’s life had still slipped away from their grasp. That terrible feeling of loss, of being utterly powerless, facing the grief of those left behind that they had failed completely. Sasuke didn’t know how to be indifferent to any of it. His mother had been worried, his whole family really, and Tsunade too. He recalled it as one of the moments he had missed his friends the most during these two years. He had been mad at himself for wishing so much for the comfort and warmth of people that were simply not within reach. 

So it wasn’t that he wanted to care. But he couldn’t _not_. 

Chiyo’s brother was waiting for them beyond the gate. He didn’t look surprised, already grieving even before they confirmed life was gone, that she would never open her eyes again. 

“You have no time to mourn that old fool”, he told Temari and Kankuro, before they rushed to the hospital. 

The Yondaime Kazekage died without ever waking up. 

It didn’t concern Sasuke in any way, yet he felt their pain, the fear and uneasiness that descended on a village deprived of its leader, the confused hurt of mourning someone they didn’t exactly know yet cared about in some way. And of course, the depth of the siblings’ despair, fresh from seeing the third of them turning their back on them yet again and now losing their only remaining parent. Kankuro looked angry, Temari, stoic and inscrutable. They debriefed this fiasco of a mission with the Konoha nin, and then turned around to start making preparations for the funerals. 

Sasuke and his team could offer no help nor comfort, it would be ill-advised even. 

They were done here. 

This part was always strange, when the mission was done and they had to go home, but it had rarely been with such a heavy weight on their mind. Even Lee was unable to lift their spirits as they made their way out of the desert and back into the lush forests of the Land of Fire. They remained silent and forlorn, lost in their own thoughts. Sakura avoided Sasuke and he didn’t try to breach the gap. She was angry, he knew – at how things had turned out, at the Akatsuki, at herself, at Naruto of course. For her, it was often anger. It was a good thing – easier than to see her sad and defeated. 

It was also why she was avoiding him. She was never that good at dealing with his sadness. 

They went straight to the Hokage Tower upon their return, to deliver their report. Tsunade dismissed the chunin quickly enough, keeping Gai and Kakashi to fill her in, though she told Sasuke to meet with her later, to go over the medical aspect of the whole affair. He agreed. They left. 

This part was even stranger, when they had to split up after a mission, to go home or to the hospital, or when they took the same way to have a drink, unwilling or unable to let go just yet. Lee and Tenten bid them farewell and went home, to the small flat they shared near the training grounds. They were each other’s family – they would know how to comfort each other. 

Sakura would probably go to Ino. She would rant and rage and Ino would listen. They would fall asleep on top of each other, and Sakura would feel better come morning. 

“Sasuke.” 

She put both hands on his shoulders. They were too raw to talk it out for now, but he was glad she still didn’t want to leave without a word. 

“Please don’t blame yourself, okay?” 

She knew him well. 

He walked the way back to his flat. Once again he thought back to when he had walked those streets the other way around, only a few days ago. He was in a hurry – they were leaving to Suna, there was no time to waste. But he remembered thinking… What a foolish hope. It was always there of course, every time he went out on a mission. Maybe this time would be the one. 

Maybe they would cross paths with Naruto. 

It was absurd that his wish never got past that. They would cross paths. Then what? What did he think would happen? Naruto had left for a reason and there was a reason why he didn’t come back. Was seeing Sasuke again supposed to change that? 

Maybe he had hoped it would. 

The disappointment was a sharp and bitter weight on his tongue, heavy on the nape of his neck. He had a hard time wrapping his head around the idea that… This was it. This was all their first encounter after more than two years would turn out to be. They barely exchanged a word. They barely exchanged a look. 

Naruto didn’t care. He didn’t care at all. He was ready to fight them for a way out. To kill them, maybe. 

Sasuke hadn’t realized until now, how soothed he would have been by Naruto suffering the distance like he had. Was it wrong of him? To wish his friend was missing him too? 

He was glad he didn’t live at his parents’ home anymore. The rash, somewhat unreasonable decision to get his own place, that he had made on the heat of a bitter argument with his father, had turned out to be a blessing in many ways. Away from his father’s prying eyes, he didn’t have to suffer his scrutiny and judgment, and his father was willing to keep the peace when Sasuke was visiting, if only for his wife’s sake. 

Even his mother’s care, Sasuke wouldn’t be able to deal with right now. She would hover, worried, she would try to get him to talk, she would suffer with him. 

Instead Sasuke was greeted by Jiji in front of his building, who climbed up his clothes to settle on his shoulder. The black cat was technically a summon, though he loathed being called enough to ignore it most of the time, and Sasuke didn’t know if he couldn’t talk or just didn’t deign to. But he rubbed his head all over Sasuke’s face and the grip on Sasuke’s heart loosen just a tad. 

Sasuke grabbed at his shirt, in the center of his chest. Tsunade would need further tests, but she had confirmed there was indeed a seal newly wrapped around Sasuke and Sakura’s heart. He didn’t want to think about it. 

He climbed the stairs up to the fifth and last floor. He let himself into the flat. 

He just had time to take off his shoes and put his bag down before he found himself with a spoon shoved into his mouth. 

“How is it? I’m trying a new recipe,” Shikamaru asked, demanding. Sasuke chewed up dumbly. 

“Not spicy enough.” 

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. 

“Nothing is ever spicy enough for you. Some people enjoy actually tasting the food they’re eating you know.” 

“It’s good.” 

“Yeah? I don’t know. I think it lacks some spice.” 

For an awful moment, Sasuke felt on the verge of crying. 

Shikamaru ignored it completely. 

“You better like it ‘cause I made enough to last us a week. Oh, and I had a fight with my father yesterday. There are still some cookies left, you’re lucky Ino didn’t come by.” 

Shikamaru baked sweets and pastries when he was upset or angry. He was good at it too. 

They ate. Sasuke washed the dishes. Shikamaru didn’t ask. 

“I’ll study for a bit,” Sasuke said once they were done, settling on the couch with a scroll on post-traumatic stress disorder. Tsunade had been not so subtly orienting him toward psychology and psychiatry lately, no doubt the most underdeveloped of their field of study. She said that with how mentalities were progressing in the village, it would mature to an actual subject of global concern by the time he was her age. 

Shikamaru sat at the other end of the couch with a book – one of those stupid erotic romances Kakashi was so fond of. 

“You don’t have to keep me company,” Sasuke commented weakly. He was desperate to not talk about any of it, and he was also desperate not to be alone. He couldn’t voice either desire. 

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Shikamaru shot back before opening his book and proceeding to ignore his flatmate altogether. 

Sasuke’s despair was soothed by a wave of affection and gratitude for his friend, and it was easier to breathe and swallow back traitorous tears after that. Just for tonight, he figured he was allowed to just not think about anything at all. 

.

Temari couldn’t tear her eyes away from her father’s ashen face. 

The hour was late, she was exhausted. Just thinking about all that would need to be done in the next few days, weeks, months, made her wish she could fall asleep and never wake up. Yet she couldn’t move at all. 

She ought to be sad, she supposed. All she could feel was rage. 

How dare he, how _dare he_ leave this mess for them to sort through, how dare he abandon his village. How dare he leave her like this. 

She never got to talk to him. She never got to tell him all that weighed on her heart, all she blamed him for. She never had the chance to see if he could repent, if he could be changed, if she could forgive him and if they could reconcile, mend their bound, heal. She would never know. He was gone. She would never talk to him again. 

Would he have bowed in humility, as Chiyo had done in her last moments? _I atone_. Would he have? He was never much taken with the faith, seldom went to the temple. She didn’t much either, she didn’t know why she thought of it now. Because of Matsuri, probably, locked down in their jail, awaiting her fate. Was she praying now? Was she reciting the hundreds of Paths that guided their lives, to comfort herself? She probably knew them all by heart. Temari could never recall more than a few. 

There was one sticking to her now though. 

“I let go of the dead,” she whispered in the empty parlor, to her father’s deaf ears. 

There would be the old Chiyo to bury too, and even Sasori, for he was one of them still, despite it all, always would be. She didn’t even get to entertain the idea of seeing him again that he was gone too. Maybe it was a blessing. 

She got up, body stiff and aching from running around for days and then staying still for hours. 

“I let go of the dead. I worship the living.” 

She had work to do. 

.

Once the antidote worked its effects, the fog finally lifted from Gaara’s mind. 

He had never felt anything like this – he had never been sick nor hurt, so this weakness, this failure of his body was completely new and quite scary. Shukaku was raging in his corner, outrage covering a growing sense of panic. This wasn’t something any of them was accustomed too. 

But all was fine now. Their friends had come, of course, and all was well. 

“I’m okay now. Let me down.” 

Neji didn’t look convinced, but he complied willingly enough. Gaara touched his cheek briefly, soothing – it was telling enough that Neji leaned into it for a second. He had been very worried. Gaara didn’t like it, didn’t like anything troubling the other boy, but there was little he could do against it. And, ah. Even if he would rather Neji’s mind to be at peace, it felt warm and sweet, his concern for him. 

Gaara walked up to Naruto. They had to walk for a while – Naruto had miscalculated the placement of one of his _hiraishin_ kunai. It was too far from the next on the line, out of reach. They were far and remote enough that it wasn’t much of an issue, but he knew Naruto would still berate himself for it. 

Karin was walking by his side. She looked angry, but then again, she always did. Whether she was mad at Naruto or not, she still made sure to stay close, a silent support. She nodded at Gaara when he approached and fell back. Naruto startled a little when he saw him, so deep that he was in his own thoughts. 

“Are you alright?” Naruto asked, full of concern. He reached out – Gaara took his hand. 

“I am sorry.” 

Naruto shook his head. 

“It’s not your fault. I guess we should have known but… Ah. We all agreed. Everything is fine.” 

That was far from the truth. 

“You didn’t have to do this,” Gaara said. He didn’t mean to be accusing, but Naruto tended to make it harder than it needed to be for himself, and Gaara didn’t know how to break him out of it. 

“Yes, I did.” 

“Not like this.” 

Naruto frowned, ready to argue, but the fight left him after only a moment. 

“It’s better this way.” 

They had had this discussion many times before. Naruto was afraid of his friends coming after him and the rest of their group. He was afraid for all parties involved, and Gaara knew both hopes battled their place in his heart – the hope that they would give up and stay a safe distance away, and the hope that they would never stop looking for him. 

They were all still a long way from peace. 

“Will they be able to remove the seal?” 

“No. Never.” 

“It must have hurt.” 

Not physically, he knew. But it was obvious Naruto’s friends had been worried about him. Been waiting for their reunion. 

Gaara kept going back to Temari’s face and her pleading voice. He had meant what he said – he would never go back. 

That didn’t mean he didn’t long for it in some way. 

A light breeze ran between the trees and rocks. A second later, Akiko materialized at Naruto’s feet, slithering up his body to wrap around his neck. She was closest to a spirit that the others of Naruto’s foxes, looking more like a snake with fur than a fox. She was also the youngest, and the most attached to Naruto. 

“What news from Suna, Akiko?” Naruto asked, running a hand along her body as a greeting. 

“The Wind Shadow. Dead.” 

Gaara forgot how to breathe. 

“What? Are you sure? Akiko, the head of the village? The Kazekage?” 

“Dead.” 

Neji’s hand grabbed his arm – Gaara hadn’t felt him coming closer. Sand danced around them for a short moment before he could get a hold on his emotions. It still hovered, agitated. 

His father was dead. 

It was… He didn’t know how to feel. There was no love in his heart that went to his father. There had never been, not even when he still believed he could have worth in the man’s eyes. It was never about love – his father was so far removed, Gaara had never come to associate him with a family figure. 

He had not known what that was at all. 

And yet… Gaara knew what a father was. He knew Temari and Kankuro had had one, more than him anyway. And even if they weren’t close either, they had to be very sad right now. What about the village? Gaara knew too little. Was Rasa loved? Did it count? 

He was dead. He would chase Gaara no more. Gaara would never see him again. 

Naruto gripped his hand tighter. Neji put his other hand on his shoulder. 

“I am okay. This is sad news.” 

He would leave it at that for now. 

“What else, Akiko?” 

“The old woman, dead. The red cloud without a body, dead. The red cloud with three mouths, alive.” 

Karin winced. Chiyo’s death was unsurprising. Sasori’s, less so, but it was good news, though Gaara felt some inexplicable measure of sadness at this too. As for Deidara, it meant he had survived somehow, unfortunately. 

“The scroll people, dead, and not dead.” 

That gave Naruto a pause. 

“What people? What did you see, Akiko?” 

The little fox recoiled slightly at his urgent tone. 

“A man and a woman. Summoned from a scroll. Dead. Not dead.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Isn’t it obvious?” Karin butted in, irritated. They glared at each other. Naruto wanted confirmation, because he didn’t want to draw the most likely conclusion. Karin had no such qualms. 

“I heard the Konoha ones talk about it. Living corpses, has to be. It’s not like it’s a fucking surprise,” she muttered. 

They were expecting it indeed, to one day find the reanimated corpses in the Akatsuki’s ranks. But they had kept hoping it wouldn’t happen, except for Karin, who was a dedicated pessimist. 

“Orochimaru is helping out the Akatsuki for sure.” 

This was terrible news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They heeeeeere. And they're gone x) We're moving to Naruto's POV next chapter! Flashbacks and explanations aplenty, before moving on to the next arc. I don't look forward to that at all lol, another mess of fighting and a super large cast to wrestle with... Why do I do this to myself.
> 
> Also it is finally time to post Naruto's design! So [here he is](https://inrainprose.tumblr.com/post/628804109285359616/inraindrawz-naruto-in-flip-the-coin-shippuden). I'll probably do sketches of the others too. Tell me what you think!
> 
> ALSO, I'm not going to like, get into religion things, no more than I did here anyway. But idk, it seemed fitting? Religion doesn't take much place in the Naruto world but it's hard to believe they don't have any. I will get into some worldbuilding about Suna at some point, regarding nomad tribes and old faith, but it's not meant to be a whole theme or anything, just something to add to the worldbuilding at large. Suna is much more inspiring to me than Konoha in that regard, for some reason... Also it has nothing to do with the Paths of Pain lol.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> URG. Don't have much more to say lol, this one was a mess. Big thanks to dancibayo who rightfully pointed it out, I ended up cutting that chapter in half because it was really too much. Good side is that means I have the next chapter almost done too, bad side is that this is shorter than average, but also not that short so.
> 
> Anyway I do what I can, this was hard to write and I'm not that satisfied with it, but I want to take you through those times so. Fair warning for time flips, I wrote the flashbacks in present tense to differentiate with the now so it can be a little confusing maybe. Be glad cause I initially had even more back and forth haha.
> 
> Enjoy!

The girl is tasked with showing him around. 

Her name is Karin, and Naruto can’t decipher the way she looks at him. Curious, inquisitive, on the verge of asking a question that never makes it past her lips. The attention isn’t bad though, nor hateful, so he doesn’t mind. She looks unwilling and annoyed, but she dutifully takes him from one corner of the base to the other. 

Well, "base" isn't the right word. For lack of a better one, Naruto would have to settle for "village." 

Otogakure, they call it. They have the headbands to go with it, and they have the pride too, that Naruto is accustomed to in Konoha. Though he left his own headband with Sasuke – he isn’t about to pick up another one. 

He wonders what Sasuke will do with it. Keep it, throw it away, destroy it? 

Will he try to give it back, one day? Will Naruto take it? 

He tunes back into Karin’s instructions to distract himself from those thoughts. She is talking about bathroom turns and communal kitchen, and Naruto is reminded, quite unpleasantly, of his years at the orphanage. Well, maybe he will have to battle for his share of food here too, but at least no one will try to punish him or stop the fight. 

Naruto didn’t expect to see so many people. There isn’t a single one he feels like talking to, but he will have to do with their presence. They are all under Orochimaru’s command, according to Karin – either indebted to him or pledged to his services, often both. Orochimaru is their master, ruler of this little kingdom. One could say Kage. He offers them shelter, sanctuary and, Naruto guesses, some sort of purpose. In exchange, they do whatever he orders them to do. 

There is little doubt about the nature of their work. 

She mostly ignores the people they cross paths with. Naruto recognizes her particular brand of haughty dismissal as what it is – she doesn't want any of them getting too close. Naruto isn’t expecting this new life to be pleasant. 

He wonders what all these people are still doing here, wonders about her. Then again, the same could be said about himself, and the answer is as simple for him as it probably is for most of them. 

He has nowhere else to go. 

Eventually, she leads him to his room. Set in a long corridor of identical rooms hosting some of Orochimaru’s men, it has a bed, a desk, a couple of shelves for personal belongings. A marked improvement from the orphanage – at least he won’t have to share with five other boys. But he can’t help the weird double vision of another room, overlooking a small garden left untended because Naruto liked the plants to grow unrestrained and Shisui… 

He shakes his head as if it will dislodge the thought. It almost works. 

“My room is a few doors down. I’ll leave you to settle, then I’ll take you to the master.” 

She leaves him to his own devices. 

The room is dimly lit – no sunlight underground. He doesn’t have that much to unpack, the picture of team 7 stays carefully wrapped at the bottom of his backpack. Looking around, it strikes him suddenly, what this reminds him of. 

The ANBU headquarters. 

He doesn’t remember how he ended up there and how he managed to wander around. He explored a lot of places in Konoha he shouldn’t have, by virtue of being easily ignored and forgotten. 

The ANBU and their blank mask, their uniform, their hidden blades. Lurking around the village and spying on him at random. They didn't all live at the headquarters – as far as he knew, Shisui and Itachi never did. But most of the ANBU didn’t have any family. Kakashi, and his friend Tenzo, and the ones who taught Sakura kenjustu… Though those two eventually moved in together, no? Maybe that was the point. To not be alone. To have something resembling a family. 

Naruto looks around him, at the bare walls and the used furniture. It seems fortunate that neither family nor a home is what he came looking for. 

. 

. 

They made it to the hideout just before nightfall. 

There was no light and no sound coming from the old temple, which meant the others weren’t back yet. Karin hoped they hadn’t run in as much trouble as their group. 

It had only been a few days, less than a week, yet she felt like she was returning from war. This felt as much like a home as anything, despite them only living there for a few months, and when she dropped on the wooden patio, she could finally, at long last, relax a little. 

Naruto rushed to her, concerned. 

“Are you alright? Are you hurt?” 

She tugged at his  _ haori _ hard enough to make him tumble down next to her. She grabbed his arm, rested her head on his shoulder, and let out a long sigh. 

“Don’t move. I’m so tired I might pass out.” 

He obeyed and stayed still – only for a minute, before shifting to wrap an arm around her shoulders. She grumbled, but it was more comfortable like this, so she let it pass. 

Behind her she heard the others move around the common area – Neji was moving, most likely, getting dinner started while Gaara watched his every step. It was creepy, but Neji didn’t seem to mind. He didn’t seem to mind most of Gaara’s weird behaviors, which was the reason why they got along so well. 

They didn’t  _ have _ to share a room, as there were enough for all of them, yet they did. She couldn’t pretend to understand it. 

The temple was a gift from the foxes, a sanctuary protected by their blessings that couldn’t be found if they didn’t want it to be. Karin paid for it as much as Naruto did, even if she hadn’t signed their contract. They both had more than enough chakra to spare for the greedy foxes, and the foxes gave back well. They were safe here. 

It had become riskier for them to step outside and roam the nearby roads, remote as they were. The nearest village was an hour away by foot, and they visited when need be, but kept to themselves as much as they could. The villagers – mostly fishermen and construction workers employed in the larger cities of the South – asked no questions and let no eyes nor ear wander. They didn't seem fond of shinobi, and their sympathy stemmed from their impression that this weird group of mismatched teenagers was on the run from the hidden villages. They weren't wrong. 

That didn’t leave much room for aimless wandering. Maybe that was part of the reason why she had agreed so easily to their trip to Suna, despite the risks. 

Ha. She was never leaving the temple again. 

“I’m sorry,” Naruto muttered after a while. She scoffed. 

“About what? What could you possibly be blamed for this time?” 

“About Orochimaru.” 

She gritted her teeth. He never knew when to let go. Granted, she wouldn’t let him – she had a hard time letting it go too, even if she knew he had done his best in the heat of the moment, that things would probably still had gone to hell either way. Even if she was just as much to blame, for warning him too late, for her hesitation. 

She couldn’t help being mad at him though. Had he just stopped to think, for a second… 

“How is that counter seal going then?” 

“It’s… going,” he admitted, sheepish. He wouldn’t have the nerve to lie to her. 

Everything would be solved – or well, that particular Orochimaru issue would be solved – if they could just come up with that stupid counter seal the man wanted so badly. But they couldn't get it to work, no matter how hard they tried. Naruto tried harder since he was much better at sealing than her, but he was still not the best reader and she was the one deciphering the Uzumaki scrolls they had snatched up on their way out of Otogakure for him. 

The counter seal worked, in theory. It just had the inconvenient side effect of killing whoever it would be applied to in the process. Granted, that would also solve the issue, but even if Orochimaru wasn’t able to come up with the counter seal either, he was certainly proficient enough in their art to recognize a seal that would kill him. After all, he had taught them a large part of what they knew of fuinjutsu. 

“We’ll figure it out.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Shut up.” 

Naruto was very good at playing the blame game with himself. Fortunately, he was the only one. Gaara probably didn't have enough of a grasp of what happened around him to draw causes and correlations. As for Neji, he could have been just as bad – he was, after all, equally to blame for this mess by sole virtue of his presence back in Oto. But he did that neat mental trick where he managed to lay the blame for literally everything that happened to him at his clan's feet, and its leader specifically. It was their fault he had ran away and ended up in Oto in the first place, so the fact that it was him catching Orochimaru's interest that had eventually driven them away from the hidden village was his uncle's fault too. 

Karin didn’t find much fault in the reasoning – the man seemed perfectly detestable, and if that saved her from having to convince another idiot that they weren’t, in fact, responsible for everything wrong in their world, she was more than fine with it. 

Naruto helped her to her feet when Neji called them in to eat. She wasn’t joking when she said she was on the brink of passing out, and only the growling of her empty stomach convinced her to make a stop at the dinner table before going to crash on her bed. Even the benefit of a bath didn’t seem worth the effort right now. 

She knew she wouldn’t settle fully until they were all safely back home. The temple was nice, the nicest they had had, but it wasn’t the point. They needed to be together for things to be okay. As long as they were, nothing bad would happen to them. 

. 

. 

Karin can’t help but be drawn to the boy. 

She is mad at herself for it. It is pointless, stupid. What does it matter, if they are from the same clan? Would he even care if he knew? He doesn’t seem much interested in his family and origins, all he does is brood about the friends he left behind in his village. Karin doesn’t get it – she would have given anything to be part of a village, live safely behind its walls, to have a place in this world. 

She doesn’t like him much, yet she is drawn to him all the same. It doesn’t help that his chakra is so appealing to her, sharp and bright, tempting. That despite the bitter edges of the Kyuubi’s presence, it reminds her of her mother.

It’s not like there is anything really binding them together. He has the name but not the history, he doesn’t even know what it means, while she has the history but not the name. Her mother forbade her to ever use it, fearing it would put a target on their back. It didn’t save either of them from being enslaved anyway. 

Yet she kept the secret. Most of the people who were aware of her name died in the attack on Kusagakure, that saw so many casualties that her mother worked to death trying to heal them all. The last one to know was Zosui, her personal shackles once she took over her mother’s duties. 

She took advantage of the attack on their outpost to sneak up on him and nick him with a poisoned blade. He didn’t have time to get back at her – the whole place was razed to the ground, and she survived because she had no qualms about using these people’s corpses as a cover and hiding away until it was all over. 

Orochimaru found her then. He was curious about her abilities, and he put it to good use just like  Kusagakure had done, but he never cared much about her origins, beyond what it made of her. A chakra source, and nothing more.

It was almost offending – she has their physical traits, her mother told her, and she has their signature chakra reserves too. But the Uzumaki are considered extinct by most. Of course it is better that it remained a secret, yet foolishly, she longs for someone to know, for it to exist outside of her own heart. 

Which is why it is so, so tempting, to grab one of the Uzumaki scrolls lying around on Naruto’s desk, to just open it and to let someone know, for the first time in years. 

She has to follow him around, keep an eye on him. He meditates a lot, and he talks to the Nine-Tailed Fox if his muttering is anything to go by, but mostly he pours over the scrolls. 

Naruto stole some from his village – the rest,  Orochimaru had his people found it for the boy. The clan’s inheritance only opens for its descendants, to her master's great frustration, so she is supposed to spy on Naruto, now that he is no longer so skittish in her presence. But the boy is not a  _ complete  _ idiot. He keeps the scrolls hidden when he’s not using them and carefully closed when she's near, unaware that she could open them too, and she itches to do so, so badly at times that she has to leave the room lest she gave in to the urge. 

It’s not worth it, she keeps telling herself, and she ignores the small part of her heart that is cowering in fear, that the scrolls won’t open, that for some reason she won’t be worthy of it. She doesn’t bear the name. Nobody knows. Maybe it is not even true. 

So she watches him, still and silent. They have nothing to say to each other. Well, there is that one thing, but no matter how much time she wastes thinking about it, she can’t find the time nor the way to broach the subject. It is absurd to cling to this. It is just a name. 

Maybe she should go back to the Southern Hideout. The work up there is boring, but at least it’s solitary enough that she wouldn’t have to deal with self-pity and inadequacy. The loneliness is appealing after months stuck in Otogakure. It’s not like she’s needed here. 

Except Orochimaru insists she helps, though Naruto seems to be doing fine on his own, bent over his sealing, testing it on himself, his walls, and the Sound shinobi foolish enough to try to bully him. He has already destroyed two training grounds and had to change rooms after blowing a hole in the last one, but still Orochimaru seems pleased by his experiments. Naruto is a direct access to those secrets, to the lost art of the Uzumaki fuinjutsu, and Orochimaru is nothing if not patient. He is biding his time. 

“He’ll ask for your help,” he says to Karin. He seems certain of it. 

He is right, as he always is. One day Naruto lays a scroll in front of her. 

“Read it to me.” 

She snarls, displeased at his tone. 

“Why would I do that?” 

His bravado is much thinner than her own – he is usually the one to back down. The scowl eases as he scrambles for an answer, uncharacteristically nervous. 

“It’ll be easier to follow. Just read the steps to me. Please.” 

Suspicious, she agrees with a frown, making sure to convey she’s onto him and his bullshit, before moving to the scroll. 

She chokes on her spit, outraged. 

“What the... What’s wrong with you?” 

“What? What did I do?” 

“This is a scroll for... for...” 

She must be as red as her hair. She can’t just say it out loud, that’s probably what he wants, he’s just trying to mock her. She wants to storm out, but it’s the first time he does let her get a look at the scrolls. Even if it’s... 

He looks at her with confusion, as if he isn’t aware of what he’s doing. Very well. Two can play that game. She picks up the scroll, clears her throat, and does her best not to stumble on the words. 

“Prolonged Erection Seal.” 

He screeches higher than even she did. 

“What the... that’s not! That’s not it!” 

“That’s what is written right there!” 

He looks at the paper dubiously, as if he didn’t believe her, while she taps the characters furiously. Is he trying to make her believe he didn’t do it on purpose? Does he think her that stupid? 

“Ah. Yeah. Well. No. Take – that one. Instead.” 

He throws another unrolled scroll at her, unable to meet her gaze. Serves him right for doing such a dumb joke – what did he think would happen? Why is there even such a seal in there? 

“Soul-binding seal,” she reads out loud. 

“Yeah,” he answers awkwardly. “That.” 

It doesn’t look that complicated for such an ominous title. He waits, expectant, and she makes a point to let the uneasy silence linger for a while, just because, before deeming him punished enough. 

“It starts with a five-point seal, downward.” 

“Really?” 

Next thing she knows he’s at her side, peering over her shoulder. 

“Yes, really. Why?” 

“Well, it’s drawn upward here!” 

“But it says downward! See?” 

She points at the scribbled instructions. She doesn’t know which one they ought to follow – the next drawing looks nothing like the first, at least five steps lacking the accompanying illustrations, so there’s no telling. 

But the way he squints his eyes and looks unsure, the way he keeps staring at the sentence, as if... 

"Next it says to lay those symbols at each point," she adds, pointing at a string of characters spreading across the sheet. "It will have to be folded later, and it must be straight enough." 

“Okay, okay, let me see.” 

His hand is steady and precise as he copies the small marks on the blank sheet he laid on his desk. There are dozens of them scattered around the room, pinned to the walls, pilled in every corner. He is almost manic in his studies – she wonders what he hopes to achieve. 

“These have to be linked twice... it says “in the twelfth order”. You know what that means?” 

“Hm. But it’s twelfth? You’re sure?” 

“I can read, thank you.” 

He scowls harder. She has to test it out. 

“And next, what does it say?” he asks, looking at her expectantly. She points at a character. 

“Another five-point seal. Up this time.” 

“What? That’s not possible!” 

“It’s written right there!” 

It is not, in fact, written right there. The word says the opposite. She has her fingers right under it. 

“That’s... You can’t lay two seals in opposite direction on top of each other.” 

“I’m just telling you what’s written here.” 

She sees the moment he gives up, and she feels bad all at once, when he clenches his jaw and takes a step backward, when he glares at her and tries to look angry, when he is just  _ hurt _ . 

“You’re lying.” 

He knows because he’s very proficient in sealing, but not because he can tell the difference between the two characters. Because he can’t, not for sure anyway, not confidently enough that he can judge if she’s having him on. 

Because he’s not a good enough reader to tell. That’s why he asked her. Most of the scrolls have very detailed illustrations, but some are much more verbose. And he can’t handle it. 

And he gave in and asked her. But he won’t anymore, surely. He is packing his scrolls aimlessly, to appear busy more than to give any semblance of order to his messy room. 

He is embarrassed. Ashamed, even. And here she thought he was mocking her... it ended up being the other way around. Except she isn’t laughing either. 

It was her mother who taught her. On pieces of paper she could scrape up and pens lifted from open pockets, with her complicated medical textbooks that she held onto like precious gems. Late at night, exhausted and weak, she told Karin to learn, while she could. 

He makes to take the scroll still in her hands. Her grip tightens reflexively because she is not laughing, and this is something she can do. This is something she can do. 

“You’re right. It does say downward too. Here.” 

She grabs a brush and a blank piece of paper, she traces the right character carefully, with an arrow pointing down next to it. 

“Upward would be like this”, she adds, another character and another arrow, and she doesn’t look up to see if he’s listening or if he’s ignoring her or glaring at her, if he wants her to leave. She doesn’t dare. She writes another one instead. 

“Five-point seal, six-point seal. Centered, identical, symmetrical. Then there are the base seals – dog, boar, rat...” 

He sits back down without a word as she keeps rambling and writing until she runs out of paper. She tacks them to the wall then, where she can find some space, before picking up the seal they barely started trying. 

“So. Another five-point seal. Downward too.” 

He doesn’t say a word, but he follows her instructions. 

. 

“Any progress?” Kabuto asks. 

She lies. 

. 

She is always watching him, and as such she is immediately aware of him disappearing without notice. She elects to keep it to herself – she can leverage it against him if he comes back, and if he doesn’t, good riddance. She will get scolded, punished maybe, but at least he will be far from her sight. 

But he does come back. And he isn’t alone. 

“Karin, this is Gaara. Gaara, Karin.” 

It’s not just “Gaara”. It’s the jinchuuriki of Suna, snatched right out of his village by that Konoha idiot. He didn’t ask anyone, he simply settled Gaara right next to him, as if he could just… do that. 

Frustratingly enough, he can. 

The master isn’t exactly pleased with that development, as it doesn’t settle well with him to host not one but two Tailed Beasts within his walls. He can’t very well move against them nor underestimate them. The test in the Forest of Death proved that Oto is unlikely to withstand the full assault of a Biju, let alone two. 

But he is also delighted to see them deserting their village. It’s not like he plans on attacking either – she believes he just takes pleasure in the ensuing chaos. 

Maybe he hopes for another war. 

All in all, Gaara is here to stay, and he’s even less entertaining than Naruto is. He stays quiet and does a whole lot of nothing beyond trailing after Naruto everywhere he goes. 

Which was Karin’s spot. 

Damn it, she’s fucking jealous. 

Not even of the boy per se, but of what they have. They share a strange brand of intimacy that shows in their every move, an understanding she can’t hope to share. They don’t talk much, but they don’t need to. 

They also spar with horrific violence, thanks to their fast recovery rate. Even Orochimaru’s toughest fighters can’t keep up. 

She had no place by Naruto’s side before, and it‘s even less now. 

“It’s like family,” Naruto says to her when she snaps and asks what is so special about that weirdo, why he matters so damn much. She can’t help what comes out of her mouth next. 

“What about me?” 

She regrets it immediately. She flees the room before he can react in any way. 

She needs to go back to the Southern Hideout. She will feel better there, far from that boy that  _ isn't  _ part of her family. She doesn’t need him, nor anyone else. 

She finds herself a quiet corner of the living quarters, to calm down and settle her nerves before going to the master. She can’t let him know how affected she is – she can’t hand him her weaknesses so easily. 

“Yo, Karin. We need a fix.” 

Ah, and if she goes back South, she’ll avoid _ that  _ too. 

She looks up to the three men effectively trapping her in the corner that seemed so welcoming a few minutes ago. She can’t recall their name – she doesn’t care. 

“I’m busy,” she deadpans, defiant. 

She blames Naruto for this too. He was friend with that pink-haired girl from Konoha, so she can totally lay the blame on him by proxy, though it’s the girl’s fault. Ever since the Chunin exam, ever since that girl rescued Karin for some bewildering reason, ever since that look on her face when Karin offered her a chakra fix as compensation… 

Ever since then, Karin has been remembering how much she actually hates to do that. How much she wants to scream and tear her skin off, and their skin too, when they approach her, when they take their teeth to her skin and suck the life out of her without any qualms. She had forgotten that she used to fight this, however useless it was. 

But it’s her purpose here, isn’t it? It’s her value to her master, the only reason why he took her under his wing. It used to make it easier to bear, to see it that way, to know that this was how she could be useful, this was her sole value. 

But the girl had refused. She thought it was wrong. And Karin is stuck remembering that now. 

Damn, she hates those Konoha fuckers. 

“Don’t be difficult, Karin,” the closest one says, patronizing. He tries to grab her arm. 

She punches his teeth out. 

A stupid move, as there are three of them and one of her, and she was never that good a fighter – in these situations she always regrets not trying harder, but still that doesn't push her to train more seriously. It’s pointless berating herself now, as the second man closes a strong hand around her wrist, tight enough to hurt. He seems almost amused by her little display, like the indulgence shown at a child’s tantrum. He knows she can’t stop him even if she wanted to. 

And hell, but she wants to. He brings her arm to his mouth and she feels like throwing up. She wants to rage and fight, even if he would most likely break her arm if she did, because she hates this,  _ hates it _ , hates their teeth sinking into her flesh, the marks that won’t fade for days. 

But they have every right and she has none. She can’t refuse them – it is the sole reason why she’s even allowed to be here. She’d be best to remember that quickly. There is no escaping it. There never will be. 

She hears a weird noise. 

The man lets go of her wrist to grip at his crotch before falling to his knees. Behind him stands Naruto, looking pissed, and Gaara, looking as unconcerned as ever. 

The men quickly assess the situation – Naruto built himself a bit of a reputation these past few months. He likes to pick fights, and he often wins too, by sheer stamina. He sure has some aggression to work out. 

Karin isn’t worth getting into a fight with him. The three men take off. 

“Are you alright?” 

“Don’t touch me!” 

She can’t stomach any more fingers on her skin. Surprisingly enough, he complies, though it seems to be hard for him, as his hands hover, aimless, above her bare arms. She remembers she had resolved to wear long sleeves more often, but it’s not like she could go shop for new clothes that easily. 

“You shouldn’t have done that.” 

“You should have! If you didn’t want them to touch you...” 

“Do you think that’s up to me?” 

He could do what he wanted because no one could oppose him. She has her purpose. She can deal with it. 

“I don’t want you to suffer,” he says, helpless and nonsensical. As if it was about what he, or she, or any of them wanted. She ignores the warmth, the comfort – stupid, stupid. 

“That’s nice. But that’s not up to you either.” 

“What if it was?” 

She frowns at him, puzzled. 

“How?” 

He seems hesitant then, for the first time since the beginning of that conversation. He just as easily slipped into righteous fury than he reverted back to his reserved, taciturn self. She can't decide which side is truer to his character. Maybe it's both in equal measures. 

“You know. What you said,” he mumbles awkwardly. 

“What did I say?” 

“About family. Do you want to?” 

She chokes on a dismissive retort, caught off guard. But she’s not about to let him have the last word. 

“We already are.” 

“What?” 

“We already are. Family. I was born in the Uzumaki clan. We’re like, cousins or something.” 

She can’t quite believe how easy she makes it sound when she’s screaming in her own head, both revolted and exalted by her sudden breach. It's his turn to be taken aback. Take that. 

But she didn’t expect him to look so… 

Happy? 

“Really?” 

He sounds almost awed. She blushes, feeling shy again. Oh, how she hates his guts. 

“Yeah. Really.” 

He doesn’t question it, and he looks so pleased it hurts. She almost takes it back, tells him she lied, that it was an obvious joke and he fell for it like an idiot, because it’s too much, it doesn’t  _ mean  _ anything, she can’t bear his feelings, on top of her own. 

His expression loses a bit of its shine though, getting shy again when he asks next, “But… Do you want to?” 

For a moment she wonders if he didn’t understand what she just told him, until it hits her that she’s the one who didn’t get it. 

It's not sharing the name that would make them closer. He doesn't expect her to want to, maybe. 

It's a choice to make. And the answer isn’t so easy. 

She knows what she wants, what she longs for, deep down, an ache that couldn’t be soothed and wouldn’t go away no matter how she wishes it to. She’s mad at herself for not having grown accustomed to it after so many years, for craving still such a dangerous indulgence – companionship, safety. Protection. 

Love. 

It is childish and imprudent, in the world they live in, in their situation. She fears it will turn against her, she fears it will be harder after, when it inevitably fails and she’s alone again. Some reached out to her before, even in this place – that gentle boy, Jugo, who shadowed Kimimaro, Guren, on the rare times she was in Oto, and even Dosu and his group, because they too were stranded alone in this place. 

But she couldn’t trust any of them to choose her before the love and fear they had for Orochimaru, who was both savior and persecutor to them all. She suffered the betrayal before. 

This time though. This time… 

“We’re cousins, I told you. You’re stuck with me now.” 

She means it as a threat, but he only laughs. 

. 

Naruto somehow manages to strike up some… friendships, in Otogakure. 

Karin is so baffled by this development that for a while she’s convinced it is some sort of strategy he’s working on to gain support among the Sound ninja or something. It quickly appears that Naruto isn‘t capable of such deceit though. 

He is just… like that. 

The funniest thing is that he seems equally miffed by this. He doesn’t realize that the basic attention and compassion he shows to those around him already place him leagues above their crowd. 

Most famously, he got rather close to Kimimaro – and Jugo, by extension, as those two come in pair. 

Naruto says Kimimaro reminds him of someone he knew. He says it with a painful kind of nostalgia, one that hints at a tragic fate for them. He is quite distressed by Kimimaro's poor health and how little can be done about it. For some strange reason, that seems to be Orochimaru's worst offense in his eyes, and not… everything else. 

That is, until he stumbles upon one of the labs for the first time, until he meets Suigetsu, and then he storms into her room, furious, and asks why she never said anything about this. 

She is surprised Suigetsu mentioned her at all. They didn’t know each other that well. Before. 

And she certainly never visited him in his prison. 

There has been a shift since then, one that she worries about. Naruto never acted like he felt in his place in Oto, but it was the same for all of them – they simply made do long enough that it did become the only home they could hope to have. 

She worried about his choices without ever wondering about hers. About what she would do, if he decided he couldn’t stay here anymore. 

He still learns from their master, because it’s also why he is here. Naruto’s talent for sealing is natural but blunt, unrefined, and Orochimaru is all about refinement. She wonders if he truly hopes to seduce the boy into his service – he has to know it’s not going to happen. Naruto has... For all his rage and resentment, he has this drive. He is fine with doing what it takes to survive and protect his friends, but he still doesn’t like to hurt people. He doesn’t seek power for himself, he’s just not interested. What he truly wants, Orochimaru can’t give him. 

Still Orochimaru teaches him because he is a teacher. Above all and despite everything, that is how she would describe him. He taught her a lot too, though not things she ever wanted to learn. She helped with the Curse Seal experiments. She doesn’t sleep very well. 

Still, he teaches. Still, they learn. 

. 

A little over a year after his arrival, Naruto disappears yet again, and again comes back with another stray. One from his very own village no less. 

One that Karin dislikes instantly. 

Hyuuga Neji, of the Hyuuga clan. The eyes are a dead giveaway and a huge liability. She curses Naruto for doing this behind her back. Had he told her, she could have warned him, because… 

Because Kimimaro is getting worse. And Orochimaru can’t set his sight on the jinchuuriki, as the Biju would most certainly object to any harm coming to their vessel. 

The Hyuuga boy, however, is just too perfect a temptation for him. 

She knows what he will do to him. She saw it before. All in all, despite her limited usefulness, she is quite close to Orochimaru, because of her endless chakra reserves and her decent grasp at medical ninjutsu. Kabuto trained her in the art, when he could, and she imagines it is so that there would always be a medical expert available in Oto, even when he isn’t there. 

She knows that Orochimaru’s latest body is decaying, that he will soon need another one. She knows who he will choose. 

She says nothing. 

They will want to leave, and what will she do then? She can’t. There is nothing out there for her, she couldn’t escape this place even if she wanted to, and she’s not sure she does. And Orochimaru… He saved her from a life as a slave that would have ended a long time ago. So what if he kills the Hyuuga boy? It’s not like she could stop him. 

It’s barely a month after the boy arrived that Orochimaru asks her to fetch him. She obeys. She dodges the Hyuuga’s questions about what Orochimaru could possibly want with him, she leaves him on the doorstep of Orochimaru’s lab, where Kabuto is waiting with an inscrutable expression but a discreet smirk, for her, when he shows Neji inside. 

She walks away. 

She goes to Naruto. 

She thinks about his chakra, so welcoming, so alike her own. Gaara’s, colder and neutral, biting at times but somehow calming too, a steady anchor. Neji’s even, its chiseled refinement and undeniable beauty despite how little she wants to approach it. 

Naruto would know, for sure. He would find out, one way or another, that she knew. And he would never forgive her. She keeps going back to his words, to him shy and blushing, asking if she wants to be part of that small, fragile thing they were trying to build with Gaara, between the two of them and with the Hyuuga too now, something they never knew yet craved all the same, something that for some unfathomable reason, they were willing to include her in. 

She runs to him. 

“Orochimaru is going to kill Neji,” she says. 

It's all downhill from there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keeping up with my "someone please teach Naruto to read properly" agenda.
> 
> We'll keep up with some flashbacks next time, but the rest will be for later! Want to know the group in the now yeah. And then back to Konoha, which is, not gonna lie, much nicer for me to write so... yeah. I'm starting to be really nervous about how I'm gonna be able to pull out what's coming x) writing is hard.
> 
> FRIENDLY REMINDER that there is a bunch of fanart for this story on my [tumblr](https://inrainprose.tumblr.com/tagged/flip-the-coin-fanart), from me and others, and it's starting to be quite the nice collection ^^ a huge thanks again to all those who were inspired by this. Hope you'll keep enjoying your time here! <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto's gang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Down with the flashback oh my. I really don't like flashbacks lol.  
> Bringing the full gang in and also answering some of your prayers haha, I guess it's not a big surprise but still. As much as this part was a pain to write I'm glad I could write up that little group and set up future dynamics. But we'll go back to my bae Sasuke next time.
> 
> Enjoy!

It’s Gaara who snatches Neji’s wrist and tells him to run. 

Sand has already engulfed and overflowed most of the compound, the flood of Gaara’s rage only receding to let them pass. Naruto is behind them and Neji wants to wait, but he’s weakened alarmingly by whatever Orochimaru tried to do to him, and it’s all he can do to keep stumbling behind Gaara. 

Soon, he can’t even do that. His vision is blurring – he has never been so chakra deprived before, the life sucked out of him by the snake in just a few minutes. Had the others not burst in... 

Gaara catches him before he falls. It is not unfamiliar – they have been touching a lot lately, as though by chance, but it’s too frequent and too deliberate, even if they have said nothing of it. Of all the things to come out of him running away, of trusting Naruto and deciding to follow him, this is surely the strangest and most unexpected. The scariest, but the most exciting too. He doesn’t understand it, but just the idea that it exists, that it can grow and change, is exhilarating. 

But for that they need to get far away from here. 

“Do not die,” Gaara says. He cups Neji’s face, so that their eyes can meet. His face never shows much, but the contrast in his eyes is the same as usual – serene peace and ablaze fury, and the sand is still raging around them, stained with blood, birthing and smothering cries of agony of the unfortunate caught in the tide. 

Gaara’s hands are gentle on his face. 

“I won’t.” 

There is no way. They’ve barely lived – they deserve more time, a lot of it, enough that it will outweigh all the time they lost already, trapped in their cage, alone. 

They hear a scream. At first Neji isn’t even sure that’s what it is – it doesn’t sound human, this shriek of wrath and pain, but he recognizes the voice. 

What could Naruto have done to Orochimaru, to reap such a sound off of him? 

There is no time to wonder as the boy appears by their side, guided by the hiraishin taped to Gaara's gourd so that Naruto can reach him at all times. He grabs them both – the jump is never pleasant, but Neji feels so terrible already that it barely registers. They pop out in the main training ground, then in one of the labs, where the sand makes quick work of freeing those imprisoned and where Naruto grabs that water boy he's been talking to. Neji thinks he sees Kimimaro too, but then they are at the main gate where Karin is waiting for them, and he and Jugo aren’t here. Naruto doesn't let the girl get a word out that he is already moving them all, once, twice, thrice, until their surroundings are no longer recognizable. 

Neji falls to his knees as soon as they stop, on the verge of passing out. Karin is yelling above him, and he would tell her to shut up if he could make a sound. 

“What happened? What did you do? What did you do?” 

Naruto seems reluctant to answer, but it’s best not to deny Karin, especially in that state. 

“That seals works after all.” 

It seems the better option to lose consciousness right there and then. 

. 

. 

Neji startled awake at the loud sound of the temple’s main door sliding open forcefully. He winced, thinking of the repairs they would most likely have to do, again, and cursed whoever it was that couldn’t open the door like a normal person. 

The list of suspects was limited. 

Gaara was already up, meditating in a corner of the room, unbothered by the commotion. Little could startle him. His fellow jinchuuriki in particular couldn’t hope to get the drop on each other, as they were strangely attuned to each other’s presence. 

“They’re back,” he stated in a low voice. 

His face barely changed, but he sounded pleased. 

They heard Karin yell, Suigestu laugh, the other talking softly. Neji sighed, long-suffering, but he felt like smiling too. 

“They are.” 

In the main room they found Karin chasing Suigetsu around, while Naruto, as usual, did his best to look unaffected as Yugito ruffled his hair gently. Fu was mocking him, but she launched herself at him as soon as she could and hugged him viciously, so she didn’t really have a leg to stand on. 

Neji often missed the tension wrapped around Gaara’s body until after it was gone – he looked at the three hosts and the difference was so obvious it didn’t make sense not to have seen it before. 

They were better at it now, but they still didn’t like to be apart. 

Karin and Suigetsu’s fight was mostly for show. It was how they demonstrated affection, and it gave the others a moment to greet each other. Neji waited a little before stepping in. 

“Hello, Neji,” Yugito said, always mindful and polite to a fault, always with the faintest, softest smile that was as hard to decipher as Gaara’s blank expression. She was the latest to have joined them, and she was several years older than them – he wondered if she felt out of place sometimes. She had confessed a sense of responsibility toward them, though she didn’t see them as children. They were all shinobi, age didn’t factor in their strengths and the dangers they could face. 

“What news then?” 

“You mean, aside from what happened in Suna?” Fu asked, cheeky, though there was true worry hidden underneath. Whatever they had heard on the way, it couldn’t have been pleasant when they were so far away, out of reach and unable to help. 

“That could have gone better,” Neji conceded, an understatement. With a look, Yugito agreed to let it go. She would get the story later. 

“We met with the hosts of the Yonbi and the Gobi,” she said. 

“Really?” Naruto exclaimed, eager to tune back into the conversation. Neji rolled his eyes. It was the only thing he cared about. 

"Yes. We were right, they are both deserters, though it is kept on the down-low by Iwa. They were traveling together – they are good friends. They weren't interested in joining us, for now, but we warned them about the Akatsuki, and they took your seal. We will meet again." 

Naruto smiled, pleased, though he had to be a little disappointed their little group wouldn’t gain any new faces for now. It made sense, as the two jinchuuriki from Iwa were much older, and probably well settled in whatever compromise they had struck with their village. 

“What about Kumo?” Neji asked, never one to lose sight of the hard questions. 

Yugito’s face lost some of its warmth, though she kept smiling at him. They didn’t have the specifics, but her feelings toward her fellow jinchuuriki were rather… complicated. Killer Bee’s status was unique among the lot of them, as he was recognized and well-loved by his people, something that had always been hard to reconcile for Yugito, who wasn’t related to the Raikage and thus wasn’t so lucky. 

“He… wasn’t interested. But he didn’t report us, and he did give us some pointers regarding our relationships with the Biju.” 

Killer Bee had no reason to want to leave the comfort and safety of his village, unlike Yugito, exploited, Fu, restrained, and Naruto, cast aside. 

“That’s good,” Naruto said. “We need to train!” 

Neji had yet to leave Konoha when Naruto had started to make real strides in his link with the Kyuubi, so he wasn’t clear on the details. Naruto didn’t like to talk about it, but the two had come to an agreement of sort. Still, they all worried about losing control, about the power of the Biju unleashed onto the world. 

At the same time, even if Naruto had never spelled it in so many words, Neji was pretty sure his end goal was to free the Nine-Tail for good. How he would achieve that remained a mystery for now, one Neji didn’t feel like thinking about. 

“We also confirmed that Orochimaru is working with the Akatsuki.” 

Naruto’s mood dampened significantly. 

“We… found that out too.” 

“He doesn’t seem to have any trouble finding bodies for his jutsu. We need to find a counter-strategy, and fast.” 

“I know, I know.” 

“And what about the seal? He doesn’t want anything from us beside it.” 

“I know, I know.” 

“So we have to…” 

“Yugito.” 

She turned to Neji, surprised at the interruption. She was a great tactician, and she tended to get lost in the logistics – she often ended up talking to herself, as no one could follow her train of thoughts. It also meant she was lost to the effect of her words. In this case, Naruto looking more and more guilty by the second. 

“All in due time though,” she amended, a little awkward. Neji held back a sigh. Karin had said something surely, for Naruto to feel so bad about it again. It was absurd. None of them were responsible for Orochimaru’s greed and thirst for power. If anything, Naruto had done them a great service by incapacitating the man in some way, even if it meant he would turn to their enemy in retaliation. Neji wasn’t about to feel bad about it, even if he could have taken the blame too. 

Yugito cornered him and Karin a few moments later, once Fu had dragged Naruto outside for some sparring – she never ran out of energy, having arguably the best stamina of them all. Neji found her exhausting and didn’t dismiss Karin’s theory that she was always this fired up because she sucked the energy out of the people around her. 

“Is he beating himself up over it again?” Yugito asked. Neji glared at Karin. 

“I didn’t say anything!” she protested. “He brought it up himself. The animated corpses are a hard blow, and we wouldn’t have to deal with it if we had left Oto peacefully.” 

“We can’t even be sure about that. For all we know, Orochimaru would have tried to stop us all the same.” 

“But he wouldn’t be out for Naruto’s blood now.” 

They hadn’t heard directly from the man, since he couldn’t find them, but they had had a few very unpleasant encounters with some of his people. Orochimaru was enraged. Enough that he would ally himself with the Akatsuki to track Naruto down. 

“He needs to get it into his head that he is not responsible for this,” Yugito stated, a tad angry. She had an inflexible sense of duty and justice, right and wrong, that Neji couldn’t help but admire, impressed by her strength as much as her resilience despite the trials of her life as a jinchuuriki. 

“I’ll talk to him again,” Karin assured, always eager to please the older woman. “And we’ll come up with that seal. Orochimaru will leave us alone. The rest, we can handle.” 

It was probably a bit too optimistic of them, but what else could they do? The Akatsuki was a huge threat on its own, but at least there were very few of them. With Orochimaru’s forces joining in, especially his corpses, the odds were much more dreadful. 

There was also no guarantee that he would actually back down once free of the seal Naruto had doomed him with, but for all his terrible traits, Orochimaru wasn’t especially resentful. He was pragmatic above all, and couldn’t be that thrilled to associate with the Akatsuki, whose contempt for he made no secret. 

There was an easier solution to this though. 

“We should just kill him and be done with it.” 

After all, it was more or less the beginning and end of their plan to deal with the Akatsuki. None of the members would be an easy target but their group was seven strong now, with four jinchuuriki. Their chances weren't so bad, including against the snake. 

Karin didn’t agree. 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she retorted, in her usual “I’m not calling you stupid out loud but I’m sure you can hear it anyway” tone of voice. 

He wouldn’t let it fly this time. 

“How is that ridiculous? Orochimaru will still be a threat even if he is not personally after us anymore. We can take him out if we plan it carefully.” 

“What’s the point in seeking him out? We are safe here! We don’t need to engage!” 

“You had no qualm risking running into the Akatsuki on the way to Suna. We can’t just hide here forever, we will have to fight them eventually.” 

“I know that!” 

“You just don’t want him to die!” 

She recoiled as if he had hit her, sputtering in indignation. 

But she didn’t deny it. 

He had never leveled the accusation out loud, even if he was sure of it from the start. He didn't believe she regretted following them instead of staying in Oto, regretted her choice. 

But she would have rather they stayed. For all the venom she spewed about the man and the place, for all that she hated it there… 

He had seen it in a lot of them. It was baffling, but undeniable – despite how Orochimaru treated them and the life they led in Oto, they were grateful to him. 

Loved him, even. And she was no different. 

Yugito cast him a disapproving look, as if he was the one at fault for voicing the truth out loud, when Karin was the one still too attached to her former master to bear thinking about his death. A reluctance Orochimaru surely wouldn’t repay toward her, or any of them. He had proven enough time how little he cared about the people under his orders. 

And yet, and yet. They stayed loyal to him, sought out his approval, obeyed his every wish, desperate that they were to give meaning to their existence by his side. Kimimaro had even chosen to stay, despite everything. 

“Fuck you,” she spat, voice tight. “You can come at me when you’re ready to slaughter your entire family!” 

“Is that what you consider your family then?” 

“You fucker and your rich clan in your nice little village have no right to pass judgment on that!” 

“That’s enough.” 

Yugito didn’t raise her voice nor physically step in between them. She didn’t have to. The warning in her tone was enough, and they both took a step back even if Neji wanted nothing more than to twist the knife deeper. Karin and he were too good at this – he hated that this was a trait they shared. 

They weren’t going to start getting along now, but he had promised Naruto he would make the effort, so instead of pressing on, he walked away. 

. 

“You shouldn’t have talked to her like that.” 

Neji almost snapped back a scorching retort. He would have, had it been Naruto coming for him, or even Yugito. But it was Gaara. 

His voice carried no judgment nor acrimony. He simply stated a fact, and he was right. Anger abating, Neji realized that he shouldn’t have, indeed. That didn’t make it any easier to hear. 

“I know. I’ll apologize later.” 

It wasn’t their first fight and wouldn’t be the last. She usually apologized too, albeit as reluctantly as he did. 

“I don’t understand her,” he added after a while, since Gaara wasn’t leaving which meant he expected to hear more on the matter. 

“I do.” 

“Really?” 

“If Orochimaru had been the one to take me away from Suna, I would have loved him too.” 

Neji winced. 

“Even knowing what kind of person he was?” 

“You are indebted to Naruto, because you took his offer to set you free. What would you have done, had he been a bad one?” 

“I would have refused.” 

Gaara looked pained for just a moment, before his face softened. 

“Hm. Maybe you would have.” 

It nearly sounded accusing, but Neji wasn’t sure of who. 

“Morals don’t matter much to abandoned children,” Gaara added, almost as an afterthought. But that was the one Neji didn’t have an answer to. 

Karin was evasive about her past, but she had arrived several years before them in Otogakure, alone. Who knew where she would be now, if not for him? 

That didn’t change who the man was though, his many crimes, how bad he treated those people and her. She deserved better yet she clung to it all the same. It was infuriating. 

He shook his head – there was no use dwelling on the matter. They would apologize and play nice, if only for Naruto’s sake, up until their next fight. 

“Did you need something else?” he asked Gaara, who wasn’t in the habit of lingering when he had said his piece. The boy marked a short pause – a world of hesitations, in his case. 

“Fu said you were going to the river.” 

“Yes. You know she doesn’t want to be alone on laundry duty, and I need to wash my hair.” 

Gaara didn’t add anything. He just stared, unblinking, as he did when he was waiting for someone to ask him what he wanted to say, so that he wouldn’t have to speak first. 

“Do you want to come help me?” 

“Yes.” 

Neji had to smile. 

. 

. 

Karin bursts into his room, panting heavily, eyes shining. “Orochimaru is going to kill Neji,” she says. 

Naruto’s first instinct is to lay a hand on the back of Gaara’s neck before he explodes into a murderous rage. It works, if barely – Gaara doesn’t get the urges much anymore, but his emotions are still brittle and easily overthrown, and he only has one response to any kind of emotional distress. 

Plus, he has grown very close to Neji. 

Some try to stop them as they rush to the labs. Those, Naruto cannot help – anyone who gets into Gaara’s way has to be ready to bear the consequences. Death, more often than not. 

Naruto gets more and more frantic as the commotion increases, as they are slowed down on their way, probably on Orochimaru’s orders. What is going on? Why now? What is he planning to do, after all these months? 

Naruto gets his answer as soon as he reaches Orochimaru’s private lab. 

He needs but a glance to identify the seal and its purpose. It is much alike the ones he has been studying for months now in hopes to learn more about what tied the Nine-Tails to his body and mind. 

A soul-binding seal. Except this one goes even further. A soul to crush another soul. A soul to be bound to another body, and the host... 

He doesn’t have time to think, to refine a plan and to foresee consequences. Kabuto is busy with Gaara – rather, busy with preventing Gaara from drowning them all. Naruto doesn’t fear the sand. But he fears the lines painted around Neji’s body and the grip Orochimaru has on him. He doesn’t have time to think. He overwrites the seal. He throws his chakra into it. 

They fight for a while in the seal, there is no way to tell how long. Each to their will, pushing against the other, and Naruto draws deeper and deeper, chakra pouring out, disorganized and unfocused, but enough to hold his ground because this is the reason why the Uzumaki clan was always leagues above all others when it came to sealing. Orochimaru’s precise refinement against the bluntness of Naruto’s style, and he fears it won’t be enough for a moment because Orochimaru’s power is overwhelming, devastating in its intensity, and he starts to infiltrate Naruto’s body too, turning the seal against him. 

That is his mistake though – as soon as his chakra creeps in, the Fox roars. 

_Oh, I don’t think so._

Naruto’s body isn't for the taking. 

Orochimaru recoils at the onslaught and Naruto takes the opportunity to push back with all his might. He doesn’t need to win, doesn’t even need to put an end to it, he just needs to... 

It is only timing that makes it work – the seal keeps going, but Naruto manages to free the grip Orochimaru’s soul has outside of his body, to box it back in just in time that when he realizes what is happening, it is too late. The seal closes, and so his soul is bound. But not to Neji’s body. 

To his own – or is it? There is no way to tell. Whoever body it is that Orochimaru is living in, he will have to contend with it from now on, because the seal is locked and Naruto already knows, just looking at it, that he wouldn’t be able to open it again even if he wanted to, and that anyone who tries will have a hard time too. 

Orochimaru screeches, hysterical. Naruto flees. 

. 

. 

Fu managed to drag them all down to the river with her. “Come on,” she said, cheeky. “It will be fun.” 

Naruto knew it was a big deal for her. To have fun. She was tight-lipped about Taki, sidestepping the subject entirely, but she didn’t need to talk about it for them to understand. It was in how she hated being alone, hated the silence, how she touched them and liked to be touched in return, how eager she was to meet new people and see new things. 

She had Gaara etch the kanji for “joy” on her shoulder. 

It wasn’t hard to indulge her. So down to the river they went, just a short walk away from the temple. Suigetsu wasted no time diving in while Yugito helped Fu with the laundry. A bit apart, Gaara washed Neji’s hair for him – his fascination for it never seemed to abate, and Neji pretended to only indulge for his sake, but he secretly loved it, Naruto was sure. 

It was nice, being cared for. 

They had found Fu during the Suna chunin exam. Or rather, right after, when she was on her way back, as they had heard Taki’s jinchuuriki was among the party. She had sensed them before they did, had managed to sneak away, and had not bothered to look back once. As if she had been waiting for that her whole life. 

Maybe she had. 

Yugito, they had rescued by chance as she was being chased down by the Akatsuki in the outskirts of Kumo. Naruto had never been more grateful for the hiraishin than on that day. He’d thought she would tire of them, and she had contemplated going back, for a while. But she’d elected to stay, when he had expressed his desire to find the others and to make something of it, of them together when they shouldn’t have been, them walking out of their village, their place, their fate. 

It was four of them now. It would become more, maybe. But only if he could give them something to look forward to. 

For now, they were essentially outlaws on the run. They could defend themselves just fine, but they had to be careful not to be seen, they couldn’t travel much. They couldn’t go back to places they held dear and people that still had a place in their heart despite everything. 

They were still trapped, and Naruto hated it. 

There wasn’t much to be done as long as the Akatsuki was a threat to them. It was frustrating how little they knew of the organization, their members and their abilities, and most importantly, their goal. They had attacked Naruto in Konoha, Yugito in Kumo, and now they had gone after Gaara too. And for what? It was a mystery. Naruto had been tempted to straight-up meet with them and ask, but had their goal not been nefarious, they would have taken that step first. 

Naruto remembered the forest. Kisame of Kiri and that mysterious orange mask. He remembered his hands covered in Shisui’s blood. 

No, there were no allies to be found there. 

Orochimaru had been an ally. Not the most reliable one, for sure, but Karin was right. Had they wanted to leave, he would have let them. They had never been chained to Oto, not truly. His people stayed by his side because they didn’t have another option, like Naruto when he had arrived, and Orochimaru would try to stop the most valuable of them from leaving, if it came to it, but he wasn’t overly concerned with their wanderings. 

But then there was Suigetsu, and the Cursed Seal experiments, so maybe Naruto was entirely in the wrong about all this and it was always bound to end badly. Neji reproached Karin and him to be too lenient on the snake's character and intent, and he was in the right in some way. 

But Karin had reasons to be grateful to him, and so did Naruto. It was because of his offer that Naruto had been able to leave Konoha at all. What would he have done otherwise, where would he have gone? They would have caught him in a matter of days, the village or another or the Akatsuki. 

And Orochimaru did teach him. He really did, basics on sealing and chakra manipulation that he had only ever studied by himself before, or with his friends who were just as inexperienced as he was, just less inept. It was thanks to his teachings that Naruto managed to master the hiraishin, that he could refine the bluntness of his techniques. That he could learn a little more about his origins, even if that maybe wasn’t such a good thing. 

And that he could recognize what he was going to do to Neji that day, that he could counter it. Orochimaru probably regretted that bitterly now. 

And truth be told, Naruto regretted it too. 

_Who cares about the snake._

Naruto sighed. 

_Leave me alone._

_Stop thinking so loud then._

_Why are you here anyway? Didn’t you miss the others?_

_Physical distance means nothing to us._

Why then did they feel so uneasy when they were apart, and so relieved when they found each other again? The Fox had settled down a great deal ever since Naruto had gotten closer to the other Biju. Not so much with Gaara, for the Nine and One-Tailed didn’t get along so well, it seemed, but with Fu and Yugito... 

Especially now that they could visit each other at will. 

_You have him to thank for that, you know?_ Naruto snarled at the Fox, because he didn’t like being reproached for his mixed emotions for his time in Oto. 

The tweaks Naruto had made to his seal were done under Orochimaru’s guidance, though of course, as with all things, the snake had his own interests at heart, beyond Naruto’s wish to pacify his relationship with his unwilling host. The man probably hoped that with more control, Naruto would gain more power, but also be more volatile – and rely on Orochimaru’s ability to restrain, in some measure, the wrath of the Biju. The true goals of the man remained a mystery. Naruto had no doubt he wouldn’t like them though. 

_I have no gratitude to show for the expansion of my prison._

Naruto knew that to be untrue. They shared their emotions in some measure after all, even if the demon’s were so different from his own, so much larger and deeper, barely comprehensible for Naruto’s little human heart. Still, some were easier to grasp than others. 

Opening the seal was out of the question, of course. Even trying to loosen it just a little had proven disastrous – Naruto didn’t want to think about it. There was no compromise to be had – the Fox wanted to be free, that was all, and wouldn’t willingly settle for anything less. Naruto couldn’t very well fault them, since he was driven by the exact same urge. 

So it wasn’t the bars of the cage Naruto had managed to shift, but the other side. The back of the prison that didn’t lead to Naruto’s body and mind, nor to their world. 

Naruto didn’t know what it was, couldn’t go there without crossing the gates. But the cage no longer had a bottom. Instead it led out, somewhere, and somehow, back to the other cages. 

To the other Biju. 

They couldn’t pretend to know how it worked. Gaara and Naruto had worked on it in Oto as a compromise, once it became evident that doing the smallest change to the seal was out of the question. 

Orochimaru had been able to help with that for some inexplicable reason, even though he couldn’t have met such a specific situation before. Or could he? He remained a mystery. Maybe he had met other jinchuuriki before. Maybe the souls of the bodies he took over still lived down there, trapped in the bottom of his mind. 

Later they had taught Fu and Yugito, so that the Biju could meet. Fu’s Nanabi, Chomei, was weirdly protective of her host, while Yugito’s Nibi was mostly indifferent. The Kyuubi and the Sanbi were the most vindictive, with Gaara getting the worse of the lot for sure. At least the Fox took a break from time to time. 

But little could off-set Gaara these days, and the Biju was mellower as a result. 

It was still no solution. As long as they were all chained to each other, as long as they had this power, they wouldn’t be able to live the life they wanted, they wouldn’t be left alone. 

They couldn’t go back. 

Fu spoke of a teacher sometimes. Yugito, of other women trained by her side, subjected to the same violence. Neji worried about his clan, half of it anyway, and Gaara had been affected by his encounter with his siblings. Karin wondered at her mother’s family. And Naruto... 

Despite everything, there was always something, someone to miss, and it would always hurt, because the choice wasn’t theirs, and so they couldn’t make peace with it. 

“Come on, stop moping. You’re ruining the mood,” Karin chastised, sitting down next to him on the riverbank. He wasn’t a fan of water, although it didn’t make him as skittish as it used to, as she had taught him, among many other things, how to swim. 

“No one seems to mind.” 

“Fine, you’re ruining my mood then.” 

“You can just sit somewhere else.” 

He cringed at his harsh tone, but he couldn’t do as she said. She sensed the shift, scooted closer. 

“Are you still thinking about Orochimaru? Because you should stop. He’s not worth it.” 

She was always aggressive, even with her caring. Naruto found it funny, a little endearing even, that she couldn’t bring herself to be gentle even if she tried. 

“That’s not it,” he denied. He didn’t think about Oto when they were all together like this. This brought on a different kind of regret, as he watched Gaara comb through Neji’s long hair, that he tied high at the back of his head, his forehead carefully cleared, while Yugito chastised Suigetsu for splashing water on the sheets she and Fu had just wrung out, the boy sheepish but always weirdly pleased by the scolding. 

“Ah. It’s about your little friends, right?” 

She was disdainful of Konoha and the people there he still thought about. She believed he was better off without them, but that was mostly due to her stubborn refusal to dwell on the past, to have any regret at all. Since he couldn’t be with them anyway, she tried to convince him it was actually a good thing. It didn’t work, but it was nice all the same. 

Because he didn’t regret leaving. He didn’t think it was a bad decision, he didn’t wish he had made a different choice. 

He missed them all the same. Somehow more and more as time passed, which was absurd – shouldn't it have been the other way around? But in Oto it was easier not to think about it, as he was always on alert, aware of the hostility of the place, the precarity of their situation. 

Here they were much safer. He had more time to think. 

He didn’t like it. 

“I knew we wouldn’t... But still. I hoped we could... talk.” 

They hadn’t parted as enemies. They weren’t supposed to be. But seeing the Konoha headbands in this setting, and Suna’s too, it was a sharp reminder that if they didn’t want to make an enemy out of their village, their village had no such qualms. 

“I just wanted to ask. ‘How have you been? Are you alright?’” 

“ ’Did you miss me? Are you still mad?’ ” 

He shoved at her, annoyed. 

“Don’t mock me.” 

“I’m not. But they can’t be your friends anymore.” 

He knew that very well. Now the villages would know for sure, that they were still alive, still out there, regrouping, growing stronger. There was little chance they would ignore it, especially since it would spread through the shinobi world, both that jinchuuriki were up for the grab, and that some villages were now unprotected. It would make it more urgent for them to recover their Tailed Beasts, or acquire others. 

It would make it harder for them all to pretend they weren’t on opposite sides of this story. Their face, when he had laid his seal... Gaara was right, he didn’t have to do it that way. Was it a coward’s move on his part? He just couldn’t afford for them to give chase. 

“We’re far from done,” Karin added, almost threatening. As if he would refute that. He knew what he had to do. She lacked the empathy to comfort him, she who decided never to miss anyone. Sometimes he wanted to tease her about missing him if he were gone, but she would have punched him and he didn’t want her to be upset. 

She sighed, realizing she needed to say more since she had committed herself to bother him about his sullen mood. 

“You’ll ask once we are. They’ll still be there. You’ll ask, “did you miss me?”. I bet they’ll say no.” 

Naruto chuckled. Sakura, for sure. But Sasuke, who was terrible, would probably say “yes”, all earnest and serious. Naruto could almost picture it. And he would say, “I missed you too” and mean it, and maybe he would smile, and he would forgive him. 

Maybe they wouldn’t have to miss each other again. 

Akiko slithered into existence next to him, bright white against the tall grass. She went to wrap around his shoulders. 

“The Red Cloud is on the move.” 

Maybe one day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun. On to the next arc folks.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke is Sad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter of 2020. We're back into more familiar grounds for me, even if I'm gonna have to write some fights again soon... Anyway, we're moving on. Enjoy!
> 
> Oh btw, this is unbetaed. Thanks again to dancibayo who looked those chapters over until now. I'm cautiously thinking about looking for a new one? I said it before but I often do without because I like to post my chapters right away when they are done, but I also know I let quite a few mistakes slip so. Also plot is starting to get messy so I guess it wouldn't be that bad to have someone to run this through beforehand... idk, maybe.

Sasuke stopped just as they were about to cross the gate. The others went on, but he got stuck a step away from the line, the demarcation that separated Konoha from the outside world, the limit to their village. 

For the past two years, every time he went out, every time he walked over the line, he would spare a moment to the same fleeting thought. 

_“Maybe when I come back, Naruto will be with me.”_

It wasn’t any real wish – he didn’t expect to stumble upon his friend by accident. And yet. The thought would cross his mind, there and gone, and would come back as he did, as the gates came into view and as he went back home, once more, on his own. 

They had left Konoha in quite the rush this time, yet the thought had lingered longer. For the very first time, he had cause for hope. Going after Gaara was the closest he would come to Naruto, he was sure of it. 

Sasuke looked down at the line. In, out. The village and the rest of the world. 

And for the first time, he forced himself to acknowledge the possibility that he would never again step over this line with Naruto by his side. 

He wasn’t one to doubt. All these months, he had managed to put it aside and focus on his study and training because he was confident that time wouldn’t affect them. That whenever they managed to finally meet again, it would be enough. After all, they had not parted as enemies, right? Naruto had not said he was leaving forever. He had not said he didn’t want to see Sasuke again. 

But, ah. Sasuke supposed a lot could change in two years. 

The circumstances were far from ideal, and Naruto was right to be wary of where they stood. Not as friends, but as a shinobi of Konoha and a deserter from that very same place. Even now, Sasuke wasn’t sure what he expected, how he thought this would go. And how he thought others would react as well. He had not asked Kakashi, had not dared, aware somehow that he wouldn’t like the answer. Did the man receive his orders, without Sakura and Sasuke knowing? Was there a contingency plan for Naruto, now that they were sure he was out there doing his own things, gathering his own group? Really, it was Sasuke’s mistake, for failing to foresee any of it. 

But why the seal? 

It didn’t hurt, he couldn’t feel a thing. Yet he found himself rubbing at his chest as if he could. Sakura did the same, though she caught herself quicker than he did. They hadn’t talked either. She was angry, and Sasuke was in no state to comfort her. 

Naruto could have threatened them in any number of ways. He could have just trusted... Didn’t Sasuke let him go once? He could do it again. And again, and again, if he had to, no matter how much it hurt. So why? 

Even at the height of their fight in the Valley of the End, Sasuke had never once entertained the possibility that Naruto might really try to kill him. 

A lot could change in two years. Was that it? Whatever Naruto had found out there, it had changed his perspective enough that he was ready to go that far to ensure they stayed out of his way. That he could change that much, Sasuke could wrap his head around it, but not that Naruto could assume the same from him. How could Naruto have grown to distrust him so? To see him as an enemy? 

Was that what they were now? 

His heart hurt. 

“We’ll go report immediately, then you’ll be free to go,” Gai said. He had taken the lead of the group, Kakashi still out of it and shaken enough that he was in no position to do so. Right, they had to report to the Godaime. So much had happened, so many threats had arisen. The Akatsuki, the reanimated corpses. 

Naruto and his friends. Gaara, others like them? Neji too. 

Sasuke felt like a fool. He didn’t know if it was on him, if he should have known better, if he had missed something. But no, no. He had no reason to expect something like this from his friend, right? He couldn’t have seen it coming. It wasn’t normal, wasn’t right. 

Or was it? Would others be surprised, or not? Would Tsunade just shrug, nonplussed? Was he the naïve one? 

They went to the Hokage Tower. Tsunade was waiting, having been warned of their arrival no doubt. They had sent a preliminary report already, as they left Suna, so that she got the news as soon as possible. If only the hard facts – the Kazekage was dead, Suna’s jinchuuriki still on the loose and confirmed to be colluding with Konoha’s, the Akatsuki going after them and the huge threat they posed. 

That first report said nothing of the turmoil, the confrontation in the forest, of Naruto’s determined face. 

How cold, how distant. Sasuke would have rather they didn’t meet at all. 

“You have that corpse sealed?” Tsunade asked Kakashi. He nodded, handed her the body seal containing the reanimated corpse that had attacked him. A jounin from Konoha, who had been dead for years. Sasuke felt like he should have felt more concerned and alarmed by this, but there was too much going on in his head. He would think about that later. 

He tuned back into the conversation when Tsunade slammed a heavy hand on his shoulder, his knees nearly buckling under the sudden pressure. 

“Are you alright, Sasuke?” 

He looked around him briefly – the others were gone. Sakura didn’t wait for him, and he didn’t expect her to. They weren’t so good at comforting each other, as they both needed it, as they shared the same pain and dealt with it in very different ways. She would go to Ino, would probably crush a few trees with her sword of just rant and rage well into the night. He didn’t have to worry about her – she would be in good care. They would meet when the wave had passed for them both. 

“I’m fine. I’ll go back to the hospital, if that’s all...” 

“Oh no. No way. You boy are going home right now.” 

She didn’t let him open his mouth to protest. 

“I don’t want to hear it. I’ll tell the staff not to let you in until tomorrow morning. Go rest, get drunk. Wait, how old are you again? Whatever. Go to your family, or your friends. I don’t know, cry.” 

She wasn’t good at comfort either. But it made him smile anyway, however faintly. They weren’t close in that sense, he never confided in her and she didn’t share anything about her either, yet she always seemed to know. He supposed it came from experience – she could tell what was bothering him and why, be it about his father, his brother, his missing friend. She was never dismissive of it, which was why he appreciated her clumsy care. 

Unlike most of the adults around him, she seemed to believe his emotions were worth having, however mundane. It was a nice feeling. 

“Okay. I’ll go. But I won’t cry.” 

He didn’t know why he said that. He sounded petulant, and, to his horror, not that convincing. She just waved him away, mind already moving to the next task at hand. If he couldn’t sleep tonight, he would come back and help her sort through paperwork or just waste the darkest hours away with her. She didn’t sleep much. At least he could keep her company. 

His mother when she was upset would focus all her attention on caring about others. She said he took after her in that regard. He didn’t know if she saw it as a good or a bad thing. 

“Oh, one last thing, Sasuke. Your father wants to speak with you.” 

“...About what?” 

“I’ll leave the explaining to him.” 

Sasuke didn’t like the sound of that, but she turned away from him, clearly done with the conversation. 

He went to the grocery store, just to be contradictory, and because Shikamaru had complained about them running low on the strange balls of flavored sugar he used to sweeten his coffee. Sasuke piled on a few more things the other boy would like and pointedly didn’t think about his mother. 

He was tempted to go to her, to rest his head on the kitchen table while she cooked and let himself be infused with the warmth, but he wasn't up to run into his father just yet. The man wouldn’t go as far as saying something like “I told you so”, but Sasuke would be able to hear it anyway, to see it on his face. He had been among the ones pushing for a more active search into Naruto’s whereabouts, one of the rare times he and Hyuuga Hisashi agreed. Before the second became irrelevant, and the Uchiha focused back on tracking the rogue Sharingan user still on the loose somewhere in this world. Sasuke wondered how Hinata was doing these days. So much had happened, in only two years. 

The door wasn’t locked, when he arrived home, and the flat wasn’t quiet. 

Four pairs of eyes looked up at him from around the coffee table, just long enough to greet him before Choji, Kiba and Shino went back to their card game. Shikamaru kept staring though, as he wasn’t part of the game, and was annoying too. 

“I take it didn’t go too well,” he said casually, pretending he could read Sasuke’s mood when he had probably just heard it from the Hokage’s office and Ino’s hot gossip channels. Granted, Sasuke’s mood couldn’t be that hard to assess at the moment, even for Nara “Shogi is easy people are hard” Shikamaru. 

Sasuke didn’t answer. He went to sit on the couch, as far from Shikamaru as possible, and ignored him long enough that his friend tuned back into the game with a sigh. He didn’t play, but he gave pointless commentaries and unhelpful advice to all – his way of engaging. Kiba protested loudly while Shino, much like Sasuke, ignored him entirely. Choji was just amused. 

The party ended with Kiba’s resounding defeat. He gathered the cards to shuffle them before the next round. 

“We ran into Naruto,” Sasuke said into the lull of their chatter. 

Kiba kept shuffling. “We heard,” he answered into his cards, casual as could be. 

Sasuke had to wonder if that was the reason why they were here. They gathered at the flat often enough, as Sasuke and Shikamaru were the only ones not still living under their parents’ roof, but it couldn’t be as often as they wanted, what with their missions, training, and clan duty. Had he had a choice, he would have rather they didn’t come, so that he could mope in peace, face down on his bed. 

That was probably the exact reason why they had come. 

“Better luck next time,” Kiba said awkwardly, before he started dealing the cards with an expert hand. Sasuke settled deeper into the couch and let their joyful banter replace his own muddied thoughts. 

“Last one?” Kiba asked. “Winner takes all.” 

“All what?” Choji asked, mocking. 

“All the cookies your mother made for us but that you didn’t take out of your bag hoping we wouldn’t notice!” 

Choji had the gale to sound offended. 

“I made them myself!” 

“Is that supposed to be better?” 

They had a loose policy on snacks and drinks providing for this sort of situation, but between Choji hoarding food, Kiba hoarding money and Shino being unconcerned by both, it often ended in raiding the flat’s cupboards anyway. 

It felt strange sometimes, to think about this. Their friendship, their bonds, the time they spent together, how well they knew each other. Sasuke had no friends growing up, besides the children his age in the Uchiha clan that he had to hang out with more out of obligations than anything else. 

Naruto was the first friend he made on his own. But Naruto wasn’t there anymore. 

They left after Shino won the last round, as expected. He insisted Choji leaves his cookies at the flat, as repayment for their friends’ hospitality. Choji’s mournful eyes at the box were mostly for show – he would be back the next day anyway. 

Sasuke only waved from the couch, feeling a little bad at his poor manners but unable to find it in him to see them to the door. Shino laid a hand on his shoulder, just before turning away. 

“Do not give up,” he said, face and tone as inscrutable as ever, hidden by his collar and glasses. 

Sasuke nodded, grateful. But it was easier said than done. 

He didn’t move as Shikamaru closed the door on their friends and went to start diner. He rummaged through Sasuke’s groceries himself, making non-committal noises at his findings. Some times later, he put two steaming bowls of ramen on the coffee table. 

“Ramen? Really?” 

“Bury your brooding face in your bowl so that I don’t see it anymore.” 

It also required for Sasuke to sit up more or less properly, as he wouldn’t risk lifting the bowl filled to the brim. It was instant, of course, but Shikamaru had made the effort to throw in an egg and some cut-up vegetables – Sasuke must have spaced out longer than he thought. 

Ramen, soba, okonomiyaki. The endless debate among team 7, when it was time to decide where they would go to eat. Endless in theory anyway – in practice, it was ramen more often than not. Not because Naruto was any good at arguing his point beside repeating “ramen ramen ramen” over and over like a nuisance, but because the Ichiraku shop was the only place – and they had tested many, all of them really – where it wouldn’t end up with Naruto closing up like a clam at the unspoken hostility. Or storming off at the spoken one. 

Sasuke didn’t like to go anymore, but the old man still asked, when he saw him. “Aren’t you friends with you?” 

No, they weren’t. 

“I’m sorry,” Shikamaru said after a few minutes of silent slurping. 

“For what?” 

“Geez, I don’t know. It’s just a thing people say, you know.” 

Sasuke snorted. He spilled some broth. He felt like crying, just a little. 

“I’m sorry it... didn’t go the way you hoped. Or something.” 

It was Shikamaru’s turn to hide in his bowl. 

“I think I should... focus on something else”, Sasuke said. “For now.” 

And it wasn’t like he hadn’t. He had not spent much time looking for Naruto those past few years. It was only when the circumstances allowed it, an adjacent of some missions and trips, and steady harassment of Ino for any news. 

Yet he had, in a way. It had stayed huge and alive in his mind, never quiet, never still. He had been waiting, even at his busiest, even when he had no thought to spare, he was waiting still. 

And now he couldn’t remember what he had been waiting for exactly. 

Naruto surely wasn’t waiting for _him_. 

“Your father wants to see you,” Shikamaru said, and there was no telling why he thought that was a good change of subject. 

“Do you know why?” 

“He wants you to accompany him. Some diplomacy visit, I think. Your brother is coming too.” 

Sasuke did his best to be polite and amiable to his father, for his mother’s sake, but their relationship was still more than strained. It wouldn’t be so bad if his father had agreed to _talk_ , properly, calmly, after the initial fight, after he had admitted to almost taking the Uchiha clan to a coup and Sasuke had almost broken their house’s door on his way out. But there was no broaching the subject without it devolving into a shouting match, and so the solution was to ignore it entirely. It worked out fine, mostly. Except that Sasuke was physically incapable of talking about anything else with him. It just wouldn’t come out – he needed so badly to hash out that one matter, no other could have its place between them. 

And so, they were cordial. But they didn’t talk. 

Itachi had received some of the fallout since he was in the known and never deemed wise to bring Sasuke up to date, but it was easier to let it go for the simple reason that Sasuke was far better at fighting with his father than with his brother. He didn’t want to be mad at Itachi, so he wasn’t. 

He quite wanted to be mad at his father, so he was. 

His mother understood this – of course she did – so she had soon ceased her attempts at pleading his cause, though she had answered Sasuke’s questions and acknowledged his outrage. She seemed deeply regretful of the whole matter, sorrowful even, which led Sasuke to suspect that there was still more to it that he didn’t know. “Have you ever considered it was better for you not to know?” she had asked once. “Better for who?” he had retorted. She had no answer to that. 

And yet, despite everything, Sasuke still craved so badly for his father to recognize him as relevant and mature enough for him to share his thoughts, for them to talk on equal footing, if not in rank or status then in the validity of their opinions and feelings. 

He also was in dire need of a distraction, and what better than a long fight with his father for that? 

“Sounds fun.” 

“Not as fun as mine.” 

“You got a mission?” 

“Akatsuki hunting. I was assigned to Asuma’s platoon. Or more like, requisitioned. I’m leaving tomorrow.” 

Sasuke had hoped they could have a few days off to laze around on the couch and commiserate about their lives, but the Akatsuki was a huge threat, one that Tsunade took very seriously. If he chose not to go with his father, Sasuke would probably be sent out with the task force too. 

“Which medic are you taking with you?” 

“Marco.” 

Could have been worse, but could have been better too. Marco was the most knowledgeable of them all, and very skilled in theory, but he was still squeamish in practical situations, and his social skills were abysmal. Well, as long as he wasn’t required to make conversation and to put some guts back into place, they would be fine. 

One medic per team for sensitive missions was mandatory now that they had enough trained medic to spare a few without running the hospital into the ground. Every shinobi was also required to learn the basics of medical ninjutsu, just in case. Sasuke had run classes for his father and the other senior members of the Uchiha clan. It was quite the memory. 

“You’ll be careful.” 

“Are you worried?” 

Sasuke grimaced at the jab, but he was indeed worried. He kept thinking about Sasori, about how close a call it had been despite the old woman’s presence. Sasuke had come out of it relatively unscathed, but it had cost the woman her life and without Lee’s arrival... 

And the Akatsuki seemed to travel by pairs. They weren’t to be taken lightly. 

“I’ll be careful,” Shikamaru amended, sensing the shift in mood. “Do you want to run me through your fight?” 

Now that was a good idea. No complicated feelings, no doubting about the future. Sasuke laid out the fight for Shikamaru to analyze, and he went to sleep able to put it out of his mind. 

. 

“What do you think?” 

Tsunade pulled her hands out of the insides of the corpse. They had managed to sedate enough what remained of Uzuki Miyako that she almost looked as dead as she was supposed to, but the wards had to be remade constantly lest she’d try to escape. For now Tsunade had no idea how to make her death permanent again. 

“It has to be _his_ work”, she said, pulling off her gloves. “Even with all the hypocrisy I could muster – and that’s a lot – I can’t draw another conclusion.” 

Jiraiya’s frow deepened, though it couldn’t come as a surprise. As soon as Tsunade had gotten Kakashi’s report, about old teammates of his father up and about and making his life difficult on their way out of Suna, she had been unable to even formulate another hypothesis. Who else could, and would, do such a thing? Who else would be talented enough, bold enough and amoral enough? 

Orochimaru was always so good at everything. 

He had always been obsessed with life and death, with prolonging one and banishing the other. His experiments were already off-putting and controversial when they were barely in their jounin uniforms. War had both stopped his endeavors and encouraged them – he didn’t have as much time to study, but suddenly coming by shinobi corpses full of ninjutsu and secrets was the easiest thing in the world. And back then the village even had a vetoed interest in his discoveries, so who would have stopped at the decency of it all? 

Plus, the fact that it was shinobi from Konoha, specifically from their generation or just below, that it was Sakumo’s old friends of all people to go against Sakumo’s son... That just reeked of Orochimaru’s twisted sense of irony. His very own brand of cruelty. 

She had sent people to check the civilian cemetery, but she already knew what they would report. 

“It’s a line he was bond to cross eventually,” Jiraiya said grimly. 

Regretful. 

She wondered if there was truly a point where they would finally manage to turn on him for good. Even now, Yaya had to be thinking, “this is it, this is the one I can’t excuse”. But was it? How many times had they had that exact thought? Only for the boundaries to be pushed yet again, shifting further and further away, and always they took the extra step, to stay right behind it, because... 

Because they couldn’t let go. It was the sad, naked truth. They just couldn’t. 

“We need to find a way to neutralize them,” she said. Talking shop was easier – they didn’t talk about their feelings for their friend and each other. What would be the point? They knew already. They were too old for denial. 

“I’ll get on it. What about Naruto?” 

Her glare didn’t deter him, but he did take on an apologetic expression. 

“I’m just asking.” 

She sighed. She would have to answer to it soon enough anyway, to the head jounin and the clan leaders at least. 

“It’s best to consider him lost to us. For now. If we keep pressing on, he will go from deserter to enemy.” 

If it wasn’t the case already. She didn’t believe him to be vindictive enough to seek out revenge or retribution, but he wouldn’t be bullied around either. She was impressed with his determination. Impressed, and greatly saddened. 

“Ask Sakura. He put a seal on them. You should check it.” 

It was hard to believe Naruto would do such a thing to his friends, would threaten their lives in such a blunt, tangible way. But what did she know? Maybe his resentment was that strong after all. 

“Can’t you?” the man whined. “She won’t be happy about it.” 

“Who’s the seal expert here? Besides, she’s your student. No matter how little you got along, you were together for two years. She’s still yours to look after.” 

She wasn’t sure why she was so adamant. Maybe because she was let down so thoroughly by her own mentors, one after the other? 

“Alright, alright.” 

Tsunade checked the wards and pulled the sheets back over Miyako’s body. They hadn’t contacted her remaining family. It seemed pointless, seeing how she couldn’t speak nor did she seem to understand or recognize them. She was ten years buried. 

Tsunade shuddered at the thought. If they couldn’t even trust the dead would stay this way, how was she supposed to sleep at night? She was haunted enough already by those who were gone, she didn’t need to run into them in broad daylight as well. 

“Do you know who will take Rasas’s place?” 

Sage, there was that too. She didn’t know how stable Suna was these days, didn’t know if the succession would bring on more conflicts. She was so tired. 

“Let’s go for a drink”, she said as an answer. Jiraiya followed readily. 

. 

Sasuke meant to go see his father, he did. At first he planned to go to the police headquarter early in the morning before the man was too busy, but then he figured lunch break would be better since his father wouldn’t appreciate wasting working time for any reason. The appeal of going to the headquarter instead of home was that they were less likely to lose their temper with an audience, but he wasn’t _that_ confident in that statement, and he decided lunch would probably be too awkward. His father often skipped it anyway. 

So he resolved to go in the afternoon, but then he became worried that his father would be out and he would be left to wait awkwardly for him to come back. It made more sense to go home after all, though there was no way to know what time his father would be back and if anyone would be there at all. Itachi would be at the hospital, their mother with her genin team. 

That left dinner, but they had ruined enough family meals with their arguing for Sasuke to feel guilty about it, so it was best to have that kind of talk away from the kitchen table. 

In the end Sasuke didn’t even make it to the Uchiha district, turning back in front of the gates when he decided he would just go tomorrow for sure. 

His steps faltered when he passed by Shisui’s house though. 

He stayed standing there for a while, undecisive. What was it with him and making decisions today? He obviously didn’t dread meeting Shisui like he did his father. 

But Shisui would ask about Naruto. 

“You can come in. Shisui’s home.” 

Sasuke didn’t startle before he spun around to come face to face with the blank, judging stare of Hyuuga Tokuma. It was impressive, this clan’s capacity for looking disdainful without doing anything at all. Maybe it was the eyes – Sasuke had come to know Tokuma well enough and knew the man wasn’t so bad. It was still unpleasant, the weight of his gaze. 

“Cool.” 

He followed the Hyuuga inside. 

Shisui was grading tests at the kitchen table. What was supposed to be a temporary position at the Academy before he moved on to become a jounin instructor had become far more permanent, when Tokuma decided – and was able to – stay with him as a teacher and they could get on with making the changes they wanted to the school. It wasn’t to everyone’s liking, but they had Tsunade’s support, as she enjoyed far too much the looks on the older staff face when they came to complain about “those young ignorants and their dangerous ideas”. 

She was also very fond of children in any case, but that she wouldn’t admit so easily. 

“Welcome back. Oh, hello Sasuke! Welcome back too,” Shisui greeted warmly. 

“I found him outside,” Tokuma said, because he had to embarrass Sasuke further. “I’ll leave you to it.” 

“Are you sure?” 

They exchanged a look. Sasuke resisted the urge to clear his throat or something. 

“Why?” 

“Don’t you want to ask him something?” 

At least all were equal before Shisui’s truly terrible habit of putting them on the spot and forcing them to talk about their feelings and all. They had lived together for a year, so Tokuma ought to be used to it, but as a member of the Hyuuga clan, he had started with a handicap, so he was still helpless to it. 

As it was, they stared until the Hyuuga relented. He turned back to Sasuke, but he didn’t meet his gaze, looking at some wood pattern on the wall instead. 

“You saw Neji,” he stated. He finally deigned to meet Sasuke’s eyes when the silence stretched long enough to be uncomfortable, and Sasuke understood he wasn’t going to say another word. He kept an eye-roll to himself, barely. 

“He... seemed fine. He was with Naruto. They both looked okay.” 

Tokuma closed his eyes, only briefly – in relief, in pain? He gave a short nod and disappeared into the backyard. 

“I could just have told you so you’d tell him later,” Sasuke said as he sat across Shisui at the table. His awful cousin just chuckled. 

“And where would be the fun in that? He can’t go through life only talking to me. I’m trying to ease him into it.” 

He smiled fondly at his paper. Sasuke didn’t dare ask if there was something there, something more than Shisui offering hospitality and support to a mere friend. It would have been borderline scandalous just a few years back – and indeed, just them being close had stirred some comments back then. But the Hyuuga clan was very different now, and truth be told, the Uchiha clan was too. Such a relationship was still unheard of, as the two clans didn’t mingle, but it wouldn’t be as frowned-upon as it once could have been. 

Not that it would have stopped either of them, Sasuke thought. 

He had heard from some gossips at the hospital that Izumi was maybe going out with one of Ino’s cousins. Even Itachi was being weirdly courted by his friend from the tea shop, though it was hard to tell if he reciprocated in any way. He also had some strange form of flirting going on with Marco – maybe it was just that Itachi was awkward with everyone period. Ino had gone on a few dates, Kiba too – the wildest rumor said with each other, but no one had dared ask them directly. 

And Sasuke’s mother asked, from time to time, albeit not that much, maybe because of the face he made when she did. 

_“_ _What_ _about_ _you_ _? Are_ _you_ _seeing_ _anyone_ _?”_

He didn’t know why he was so surprised by this development, but it was a subject that had never concerned him in any way. When they were kids and a lot of girls chased him around, trying to offer him gifts or get him to agree to a date, he couldn’t feel anything but annoyance toward the whole matter, and when that had stopped, he had put it out of his mind, never to be revisited. 

There just wasn’t anyone he could think about in that way. His mother had asked about Sakura and Ino, but it was unthinkable for both. They were good friends, close friends, but he felt no attraction to either. The idea of dating anyone made him vaguely uncomfortable, like it wasn’t for him, only others. Though picturing it for others was weird too. 

Hence why he didn’t ask. He didn’t really care about knowing. And he didn’t want the questions to be returned. 

“What happened then?” 

“Huh?” 

“You saw Naruto.” 

Sasuke frowned. That was why he hesitated to come here. He didn’t know what to say – didn't know what Shisui wanted to hear. 

Didn’t want to disappoint him. 

“Didn’t you read the report? 

“I did.” 

“Why do you ask then?” 

“I figured you might want to talk about it.” 

He _did_. 

Shisui was good like that. Half his students were convinced he was psychic – it had started a wild rumor that the Sharingan granted mind-reading abilities to its users, something that Sasuke’s father was not amused by at all and that Izumi found hilarious. She had used it to prank some chunin under her supervision. The clan leader was not pleased, but she was strangely impervious to his authority. It just slid over her. Sasuke envied her confidence. 

“Don’t you... have doubts?” 

He needed to ask. He needed to know if he was alone in this, if he was in the wrong. He couldn’t ask anyone else, they wouldn't understand, or would understand too well, and he couldn’t be influenced by their thoughts on the matter. Shisui was different. He was often right. 

“I choose not to.” 

“How? I thought... I thought it would be easy. But then he... looked so cold. And he used that seal.” 

It wasn’t unreasonable of him to be hurt, was it? They all knew what this seal could do. 

“I’m sure he had his reasons.” 

“How can you know?” 

“Sasuke. I said I wouldn’t doubt, so I won’t.” 

His tone was a bit harsh, but he softened immediately. 

“It doesn’t cost me anything to trust him. I am staying here, I’m waiting.” 

“What if you had to chase him down? What then?” 

“You don’t have to wonder about that right now. You think you need to make a choice now, but you don’t. For now what he does is of no concern to you, or us. He is not your responsibility, not your burden to bear. Do you understand? Naruto is not here, Sasuke. He is not with you.” 

Didn’t he know that all too well? Yet he couldn’t help but think about him. Couldn’t help but feel like he could have done differently, done _better_ , and they wouldn’t be where they were now. It was absurd and maybe even pretentious of him – Naruto wouldn’t appreciate this line of thought. He had made his choice, built along the years long before Sasuke could hope to have an impact on his life, and even then... Naruto had asked, “do you ought to be reason enough for me to stay?”. And Sasuke knew the answer, yet selfishly, he still wanted to say “yes”. 

“Will you go with your father then?” 

“I... guess. I’m not sure.” 

“Why? It’s a good opportunity.” 

He doubted his father cared about Sasuke gaining political knowledge. Or if he did, it was because he still clung to the idea of seeing either him or Itachi succeed him as head of the Uchiha clan – why else would he suddenly be adamant they both went out on a diplomatic mission with him? He still didn’t think much of Sasuke’s ambition. 

And for the first time in a very long time, Sasuke didn’t think much of it either. 

“Does anyone care if things change, or not?” 

Maybe Naruto would never come back anyway. Was there a point then? Should he bother? No one seemed to think some things needed to change. 

Well, that wasn’t true. Ino had some ideas. Tenten too, and Kiba and even Choji, and it had become something of a joke between them. “When you’re Hokage, Sasuke, we can...”. They laughed, but they were serious too. Maybe. 

“If you think to improve things only for Naruto’s sake, then I guess it would be best you gave up indeed.” 

There was a hint of anger in Shisui’s voice and Sasuke scrambled to find an answer. He didn’t mean it that way, it was just... 

He had this plan. “If I do this, and this, if I do everything perfectly, if everything works out, then he will come back”. And now he had to consider that it wouldn’t work. That no matter what he did, it wouldn’t change a thing. 

“I should go,” he announced, getting up in an unpleasant rattle of the chair against the floorboard. Shisui got up too, a little apologetic. 

“I’m sorry, I know you’re frustrated. I didn’t mean...” 

“It’s fine. I shouldn’t have brought it up.” 

He regretted opening his mouth, showing this side of him to Shisui, who had talked too, at times, about what he would want to ask of Sasuke when he stood at their head. How disappointed would they be if he gave up on this? Were his ambitions so shallow? Maybe his father was right, it was only children’s fantasy. Maybe he wasn’t strong enough for his goals if it took so little to make him question everything. 

“I’ll see you later.” 

“Sasuke, come on...” 

He fled the house. 

. 

His mother didn’t ask how he was or how it had gone. It raised the question of how fast words traveled among the shinobi, including words that didn’t have any business traveling, but he was glad for the leaks for once, because he would have hated having to explain it to her with words of his own. As it stood, she didn’t need to ask and she didn’t - she just drew him into a hug, strong and firm, compassionate. He leaned into it for quite some times. They were almost the same height now, and he would probably stand above her soon, but he didn’t imagine ever getting tall enough that she wouldn’t be able to encase him whole. 

She went back to making diner as he settled at the table, anxiously fidgeting until she put a peeler and some carrots into his hands. His father would be home soon. 

Itachi came back sooner though, quiet and tired but looking serene, as he was after a full shift at the hospital. 

“Hello Sasuke. Welcome back.” 

“Hi. Everything’s good back there?” 

“Yes. You don’t need to worry.” 

Sasuke struggled a bit with knowing when to stop, how to let go. There was always someone to help and something to do at the hospital, and if left unsupervised, he would attend to it all until he dropped from exhaustion. 

It’s not that he thought the place would fall apart without him, but he almost felt guilty as soon as he was doing anything else. (Un)fortunately, Tsunade was inflexible when it came to rest and proper schedules. Extremely hypocrite of her, but he couldn’t protest. She was the Hokage after all. 

Itachi was arguably worse than Sasuke at this, he would live at the hospital if he could. She often complained about them both, but Shizune was never far to remind her that she wasn’t any better. 

Just a few days and Sasuke had managed to miss this. 

Itachi filled him on what happened in his absence, and Sasuke almost relaxed fully, almost forgot the reason why he had come in the first place, and thus was stupidly caught off guard when the front door opened again and his father joined them in the kitchen. 

“Hello, Mikoto, when do we... Ah.” 

Sasuke failed as much as his father to come up with a proper reaction. His mother had to step in with an audible sigh. 

“You can set the table, dinner will be ready soon.” 

Sasuke didn’t understand how he could simply have lost his ability to talk to his father like this. They were never overly close, but they used to _talk_ to each other. He would tell his parents about his day, ask the man for advice. Where had it gone? When had this block grown into his throat, getting heavier every time he tried to casually converse with his father? Why was he so exasperated by everything the man said, even the most mundane, the most inconsequential? He didn’t know how to fix this. 

“I am meeting with the Fire Lord,” his father said after ten minutes of awkward small talks, when he finally understood why Sasuke had come. 

“For what?” Sasuke asked, and it was absurd, how he managed to sound antagonistic in that simple question. He wasn’t doing it on purpose. 

His father’s frown deepened but he didn’t comment on the tone, electing to pretend he didn’t notice. 

“To talk about the threat of the Akatsuki, mainly. I also plan on visiting Nekobaa in Sora-ku. It’s been a while since you’ve been there, right?” 

It had, Sasuke just realized now. Itachi and he used to go every few months to run errands on behalf of the clan, but he didn’t think they had gone ever since he had graduated from the Academy, and even before that. The way his father phrased it, it almost felt like bait – was he saying this so that Sasuke would have more incentive to come? 

It was... nice. In a way. 

“Is that why you think I should come?” 

Again with the accusatory tone. It was a disease at this point. His father reigned himself in, placated by a warning look from a long-suffering Mikoto. 

“Partly. But it’s also a good opportunity for you to go up to the capital, meet some administrators, see how this kind of thing goes.” 

Sasuke let the silence hang instead of asking more, not trusting his tone. His father’s eyes narrowed just for a second, a sign that he was hesitating. 

“You have a lot to learn. If you are serious about your... ambitions.” 

The admission seemed to cost him, but he didn’t sound disbelieving or disapproving like he usually did every time the topic came up. Sasuke didn’t know what to say. His father took it as further doubt from his part and kept going. 

“And it will be the three of us. We can use this time. To talk.” 

It was almost worrying – did something happen while Sasuke was gone? This was so out of character for his father. But then again, did he know the man so well? They didn’t get along and disagreed on most things, but his father wasn’t a bad person, nor did Sasuke hate him at all. 

He felt embarrassingly giddy and pleased, like when he was a child and his father deigned to train him or watch him go through his routine, correcting his postures and advising his use of ninjutsu. It was the first time he didn’t feel alone in his efforts to mend the breach, to reach out. His mother smiled at him encouragingly – he figured she had a lot to do with this turn of events. But it didn’t matter, the result was the same. They could meet halfway. They could make it better. 

“Okay. That sounds... good. Okay.” 

If his father was surprised, he didn’t let it show. He seemed pleased though, and Itachi even more so, though it wasn’t that easy to tell. Their mother looked at them in turn, smiling fondly. 

Sasuke’s heart settled a little. This was something he could work with. 

This was something he could fix. 

. 

Shizune was wrapping up Sakura’s checkup when Jiraiya showed up in the examination room. 

“Hello, student!” 

“What do you want?” 

He held up his hands, placating. 

“Jeez, relax. I came to check on that seal. Didn’t Shizune warned you?” 

Sakura’s cheeks warmed as the other woman gave her an encouraging smile. Shizune did warn her, but she had trained herself to filter out information that had the name “Jiraiya” in them. 

“Ah. Yeah.” 

She put down the mesh shirt she was about to put back on. Health checkups were mandatory after a high-ranking mission. Shizune assured her that she was fine, save from some chakra shortage that would sort itself out in a few days. Her stamina was still nothing to write home about. 

“No funny business,” she warned emptily as he approached her. He rolled his eyes, as if to say “come on now". She was being unfair, probably, but she didn’t like it when he was like this, all serious and competent. She knew she had nothing to fear from him though. For all his womanizer tendencies, he had never been inappropriate toward her. He had told her once that he didn’t see her as a woman at all, which could have been offensive, probably, but she knew he saw most people as youngsters or even children. Even Kakashi and the other jounin his age got the kid treatment from the Sanin. 

He liked mature women. Ah, she hated the fact that she knew so much of his preferences. The number of women he had hit on in front of her was distressing, but even more baffling was how many of them had reacted positively to his lewd comments and mushy eyes. Single middle-aged women inexplicably fell for that, to her endless incomprehension. 

Yeah, she was entitled to treating him rudely. Plus, she was already in a terrible mood. Ino had left with one of the platoons, and she was still too high-strung to seek Sasuke out after the disaster of the Suna mission. Jiraiya could bear the brunt for once. As compensation. 

He tapped at her chest and her back, roughly where her heart would be. Try as she might, she couldn’t decipher the face he was making. Good news, bad news? She didn’t know why this was even necessary. 

They knew very well about Naruto’s seal. 

The Hokage came in just as Jiraiya was finishing his exam and Sakura scrambled to put her clothes back and look somewhat presentable to the other woman. 

“So? What do you think?” 

“There is indeed a seal around her heart. I will check on the Uchiha boy to be sure, but I guess it will be the same. I have no idea what it would do though. It seems...” 

He trailed off, pensive. Sakura frowned at him when he stared for too long. 

“We know what it does,” she muttered angrily. She was not about to get over that any time soon. How dare Naruto, how dare he? 

“Anyway, I think it’s unwise to try and remove it without studying it further. It’s stable enough for now. I guess as long as they don’t run into Naruto again, there’s not much to worry about.” 

She wondered if he meant to be reassuring, comforting even. It didn’t work. 

She _had_ to run into Naruto again, because she had to give him a piece of her mind and maybe hit him on the head too. Though she would have to tread carefully now. 

Would he try to kill her if he saw her again? 

She was so angry and confused, she felt like screaming. 

“You’re free to go, Sakura. Report to the Assignment Desk when you’re ready.” 

“Yes, Hokage-sama.” 

Sakura stepped out of the room with a quiet sigh of relief. She still wasn’t overly comfortable in Tsunade’s presence – the woman was intense, her power palpable, both in the physical and political sense. She expected to be listened to and obeyed, and Sakura could never tell if her harshness was ingrained or simply due to the circumstances and her position. At least she didn’t have that problem with Jiraiya. Who would take him seriously. 

She briefly considered hunting Sasuke down but chickened out, reasoning with herself that he would be busy and that she shouldn’t bother him. Nothing to do with how she sucked at comforting him and was afraid of making things worse by saying the wrong thing. 

He was busy, for sure. 

She hesitated in front of the hospital, between going to train and trying to meet with Hinata. Ino had tasked her with making sure the girl got some breaks from time to time, because Hanabi would never suggest it and no one around them had any sway on Hinata’s decisions beside her sister. Sakura didn’t think she would have much luck, but at least she could disguise it as some “needing to catch up on current events” thing. If she was in need, Hinata wouldn’t refuse her, Ino had said, and she’d sounded a little sad. 

Jiraiya cut her thoughts short with a heavy hand of her shoulder that had her almost flipping him over, if his reflexes weren't better than hers. 

“It’s just me!” he exclaimed, having the gale to sound offended. 

“Don’t jump me like that if you don’t want me to deck you!” 

“You need to chill girl.” 

She huffed through her nose and tried to stay calm. There was no use arguing with him. 

“What do you want?” 

“I figured you would be up for some training.” 

Surprise chased the anger as she stared at his nonplussed expression, as if that was a normal thing to ask. Well, it would be, just not from him. She could count on one hand the number of times he had deigned to train her without her begging him for it or annoying him to death first. 

“You... really?” 

“Not interested?” 

“No, yes, I am, I am.” 

They took the direction of the training grounds. 

“I... I could only use it once,” she said, knowing that would be what he would focus on. “It’s still too much. And I wasn’t fast enough. I couldn’t finish off my opponent.” 

“Huh. That’s too bad.” 

She gritted her teeth. Another teacher would try to cheer her up or tell her she did her best, but he was uninterested in sparing her feelings. After two years enduring his callous words and thoughtless jabs, she didn't think she could ever get offended on her own behalf ever again. 

Still, couldn't he try? 

At least he didn’t say something along the lines of “I told you so.” 

It had taken her almost the entire two years to master the Rasengan. One year of relentless training, and before that, one year of relentlessly wearing him down until he agreed to teach her. He said it would be wasted on her, that she didn’t have the reserves to pull it off. She could admit to herself that she had persevered out of sheer spite, just to prove him wrong. The technique wasn’t the best fit for her, true, because it burnt massive amounts of chakra in one go. But then again it was the right fit too, because it required precision and refine control, and she excelled in both. As a result, her Rasengan was much smaller in scale and strength than his own, but it was more focused too, easier to direct and harder to stop, with how condensed she made it. 

Now if only she would whip out more than one per day... 

“How are you, Sakura?” 

She almost tripped on her feet. 

“What? I’m... okay? Why?” 

He seemed as baffled as she did by the turn of the conversation, yet he pushed through. 

“I know things went rather badly, with Naruto. So I’m asking.” 

No such thing as sugarcoating with the great Sanin Jiraiya. It sounded like he had no idea why he was even asking. 

Yet he was. Asking. Making the effort. 

Maybe the Hokage had bullied him into it. 

“It’s okay,” she lied, because there was no way she would spill his gut to him out of the blue, effort or not. He didn’t seem offended by her standoffish answer. But he still had things to say. 

“I hope you won’t let it go. It is hard, but some friendships are worth fighting for.” 

She couldn’t help the next question that escaped her lips. 

“Was it worth it for you?” 

His steps faltered. For a brief moment, the way he looked at her... stunned, almost betrayed. He didn’t recover as quickly as he usually did. The question wasn’t that easy. 

She didn’t have the details, it wasn’t like he had ever willingly shared much of anything with her. But he got drunk often, and when he was drunk he was talkative, and when he was talkative, she filled his cup again. There was the Godaime in his tales, and there was Orochimaru too. He laughed talking about it – he always laughed, it was annoying. Because it was fake. It wasn’t funny at all, yet he laughed. 

He had given chase. He never gave up. 

And for what? 

She had never wondered before because it was a given that Naruto would eventually return to them. So she didn’t mind the heartache and the wild chase, she didn’t mind the building resentment, having to miss him and to worry about him. None of it would matter once he was back by their side. 

It was a different story though, if it never came to pass. 

If this was hopeless, she would rather let it go right now. 

It was also why facing Sasuke felt so daunting at the moment. She knew he would never choose that path. Sasuke could, and would, wait forever. She was well aware it was the height of the emotions talking, that it was still too raw and bleeding for her to give it proper thoughts, that she wouldn’t be so radical once she had calmed down a bit. But that was where she was at the moment. 

On the verge of giving it up. Of letting go. 

It didn’t help that Jiraiya never answered her question. 

. 

Sakura was avoiding him. Which was fine, it was fine, she needed time, he got it. 

Shikamaru was gone on his mission, the flat was empty, and so Sasuke spent all the time he could at the hospital. Those were the only places he went to, so it wasn’t like Sakura couldn’t find him, if she wanted to. 

She didn’t, for now. Which was fine. 

Ino wasn’t here to annoy him day in and day out either. He hadn’t gone back to Shisui’s house after last time, even if he knew they needed to finish this conversation. 

_He_ needed to finish it. With anyone, really. To talk it out of his system. 

So when he heard a yelled “Asuma’s team is back!” through the hospital corridors, he enjoyed a split second of relief and satisfaction, knowing his roommate was back. Until the tone kicked in, the sounds of a rushing stretcher and shouted out instructions in a not quite panicking but definitely not calm voice. 

The medic team zoomed past him, hurrying to the operation room. He only got a glimpse of Marco maintaining a respiratory ninjutsu around Asuma’s lungs, the young man as pale and sickly looking as his patients, hands shaking but holding on firm. 

“Sasuke.” 

Still stunned, Sasuke looked back to the end of the corridor. There stood Shikamaru, haggard and trembling. His hands, arms and chest were splashed with blood. His face too, stark red against the unusual pallor of his skin. 

“Sasuke. You have... you have to...” 

His first instinct was to step forward, to try and offer comfort, reassurance, support. But Ino and Choji could do that. It would be meaningless, it wouldn‘t help at all. Sasuke knew exactly what his friends needed from him. 

He spun around and ran to the operation room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, we're moving to that arc! And yeah, I will skip over some POV and fights because blah. I'm also laying some groundwork for potential love storylines down the road lol. They all gay your honor. Sasuke is so confused, poor boy. 
> 
> For some reason the idea that Jiraiya is actually quite popular with middle-aged women is hilarious to me. Had to establish the fact that he does _not_ perv after younger girls here, cause I would have to kill him off immediately otherwise and I have use for him still. 
> 
> Wishing you all a good time at the end of this pretty terrible year, and hoping the next one won't be that bad. Thank you for reading!


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